Sijun Forums :: View topic - The Succubus known as Koresha. (160k pic)

Snakebyte · Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2000 12:18 pm

REVISED
Thanks black_fish and Loki for your help!

Well?

I�m kind of scared to ask for a critique, as I have never liked finding out what I have done wrong and quite frankly it hurts sometimes. At the same time I do not want to be one of them people who only want to here positive comments and ignore to the objective comments that try to help.

So I guess what I trying to say is�. Bring it on!! I�m all ears, what can use a little more work??

Keep in mind that both are the same person and are not really under the same light source.

[This message has been edited by Snakebyte (edited September 22, 2000).]

Prometheus · member Member # Joined: 20 Sep 2000 Posts: 74

Dude , you rule

black_fish · Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2000 12:27 pm

Overall it's pretty good. Just 2 things: the shadow between the breasts is really weird shaped, and gives a strange look to the boobs. Make it simpler. That should be enough. The shoulder line and the clavicles lack some structure. They're not right. You should try to outline the underlying structure of the muscles and the bones then correct that. It's no big deal.

A little drawing to show what I mean:

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http://jmringuet.webjump.com

[This message has been edited by black_fish (edited September 22, 2000).]

Loki · Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2000 1:34 pm

That looks cool, Snaker!

The only suggestion I have is the following:

Use the moon as the lightsource for the girl on the right - that means she's be more backlight. Give the right side of the painting a different color than the left one - right now it's all very 'sepia'. That would also help to get a neat little foreground/background thing going.
Oh, and the shadow on her left boobie is too dark, as mentioned above. The light would bounce from her right boobie and brighten up the shadow of the left ...

That's it

Snakebyte · Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2000 1:52 pm

Version 2

What about this?

I would have updated sooner if this image hadn�t jumped up to 655.4Mb right before I flattened it

Loki, I'm not exactly sure what you mean. I understand what you mean about the color but not about her being needing more backlight. Do you mean something like a silhouette?

Loki · Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2000 2:00 pm

Sorry about being so vague!

Well, what I meant was that the right girl doesn't really look as she belongs in the background - since IMHO the lighting that's on her right now, detaches her from the rest of the scene. Emphasizing the moon as a lightsource on her would tie the girl nicely into the painting.
I'd love to make a little PS-Sketch, but unfortunately I can't access my webpage here at SXS ...

Boobies work very well now though!!!

black_fish · Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2000 2:03 pm

That's cool! I still think the clavicles are a little funky (maybe too curved and a little too visible) but other than that that's good. Loki's idea about the background is pretty interesting. Maybe worth a try.

Snakebyte · Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2000 3:04 pm

So do you mean something like a or b? or none of the two?

Loki · Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2000 3:39 pm

Right on! Just like B!!! Awesome! Now, (nag nag) if you would make the moon just a little bit brighter, it would more like it was actually emitting light and also pull the eye into that part of the painting!!!

Rock on, dude!

Snakebyte · Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2000 5:54 pm

Updated top image....

Loki · Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2000 9:29 am

I think it improved a lot! Are you happy with it??????

Snakebyte · Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2000 6:01 pm

Actually I like both. I'll use this one as my primary version and a second version with the brighter right side for my desktop or as an alternate version.

Most of my inspirations came from Luis Royo who paints images like this with bright characters, almost as if they were in sunlight. That is what I had in mind for this until I just sat there and looked at it and decided this version fit the mood better.

At some point I need to darken her (right side) right breast plate; it kinda stick out like a sore thumb

That or brighten the left one...

Superbug · Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2000 8:35 pm

I think its a nice pic snakebyte, really nice *ahem* but I personally don't like the over-airbrushed look she has in the foreground. but cool!

RamDac · Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2000 8:37 am

Snake... I think it really rocks!

Joachim · Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2000 8:45 am

looks nice snakebyte. Two things I really miss though, some sharp edged shadows. And also a bit of bouncing light, something that makes the shadow not looking all black. Try to avoid every shadow going to black. Some subtle color variation could spice it up too.

Keep up the good work

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Joachim's Place

Isric · Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2000 9:35 am

Suck your own bus, Koresha! Heh, nice picture