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   Sijun Forums Forum Index >> Archive : Sep99 - Dec00
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Author   Topic : "Work in Progress, Criticism Appreciated"
Gothic Gerbil
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Member #
Joined: 10 Jul 2000
Posts: 237
Location: Ooltewah, Tennessee, USA

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2000 3:51 am     Reply with quote
Hello! I've been mostly doing anime style pictures, this is my first serious attempt at something non-anime. Any help in construction before I get really into detailing the image.



My critique so far is that I definitely need to redo the hair, it is not laying correctly at all. Also I need to do something about the placement of the moon. Though maybe it will balance out once the text is in the lower left corner. The image is severely incomplete, I know she's missing eyebrows and eyelids, I am concentrating more on the construction of the face and hands. And I also know that there are no shadows on the stones yet. As I said, work in progress! The colours are not final either, working more for tone currently. I know one reason for the hair not ending up correctly is because I was trying for the fun of it working on the image rotated 90 degrees clockwise, which did make it easier for me to put in the face. Well ok, I'll bow out now, and probably introduce myself later as this is my first post here and I am ti i ired! Hmm, I feel as if I'm forgetting something here..... oh well!
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Bare Bonez
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Joined: 06 Jun 2000
Posts: 248
Location: North York

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2000 4:55 am     Reply with quote
Hey,

This is a cool pic. I kind of have a thing against vampires and all, so this pic gives me the chills, but that's the cool part. The face appears sort of flat. I'm not too good with shading, but if you make a sharper contrast between shadows and highlights, it'll appear more 3D - though I'm not really sure how to do that.

The eyes look rad and they're really cool. They're just a little small. I think eyes should be the same width as lips. Other than that, it'd be nice to add something to the background - maybe trees or clouds. Just the silouettes would look nice - maybe a wolf hollowing in the distance. Anyway, looks rad.

-bare bonez.
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micke
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Member #
Joined: 19 Jan 2000
Posts: 1666
Location: Oslo/Norway

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2000 8:02 am     Reply with quote
Hi there, GG!

Here's some suggestions:
-Add texture the moon, find some refferance
photos and study them.
-Try to put down everything down before moving into more detailed areas.It's important in order to get a general impression of the picture in a early stage.
-Right now it's hard to make out the shape of the girl
If you look at the eyes and lips they have much more sharper and darker shadows than the rest, make the contrasts in the face higher so that the eyes and lips don't look pasted on the face.
-Make the hair fall down more in a natural way. It's also hard to tell what the blue thing behind her head is. If its suppose to be rocks you might draw it alot sharper.

Hope this can help you in any way.

-Micke

------------------
-Mikael Noguchi-

http://www.katode.org/noguchi/
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Worthy
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Joined: 26 Jun 2000
Posts: 143

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2000 9:29 am     Reply with quote
I think you need to add some more shadows and detail around the eyes, not to the eyes themselves. The eyes, while quite eerie and cool, look as they they were cut and pasted on the woman..
Looks like it will be a really creepy and awesome piece when done!


------------------
3D Sculptor
Viewpoint Digital
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Gothic Gerbil
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Joined: 10 Jul 2000
Posts: 237
Location: Ooltewah, Tennessee, USA

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2000 1:12 pm     Reply with quote
Thanks for the criticism! Well I've worked a bit more on the lights and darks on the face, and did more to give her eyelids and I'm sure she appreciates the eyebrows definitely. I'd have done a lot more but my computer has a tendency to reboot unexpectedly for the oddest reasons. And I have a bad habit of procrastinating saving, cause it takes 5-7 minutes for a save cause I went layer happy and it is a big image. 4x the size here. I will be correcting the hair next after breakfast (supper), I definitely put that off too long. Oh and look! She has a nose now! She can breathe!!

Ok, well the blue in the background, that was an experiment at lighting on clouds, but I'm guessing it was none too successful from the comments here. I do have a bad habit of going into details way too early in a picture because I am always thinking up new ways to do stuff and just have to try them out. Isn't that what makes art just so exciting? Ok, I'm rambling, tata for now.
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Gothic Gerbil
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Member #
Joined: 10 Jul 2000
Posts: 237
Location: Ooltewah, Tennessee, USA

PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2000 8:05 am     Reply with quote
Ok, I've gone through and reworked the hair, reshaped the lips though now that I look at them I should do something to blend them in a bit more, they definitely have that pasted on quality to them. Redid the clouds, perhaps they look more cloudish to you now? Also did a little bit to the texture on the moon. I really like how I have the stone tablet type thingy looking now, it looks pretty neat. Any more glaring errors in there that I am just totally oversighting?
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