[Trance-R]

I saw this on a forum Imdaking forwarded to me. Since I am totally against stupid chainletters, I put this here for you people who need a good laugh from those 'make a wish chain letters'. Read on!

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Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering
> from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being
> kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.
> >
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email
to $1,000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.
> >
So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the
Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
> >
> >Fuck them.
> >
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all
the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being
will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't
fucking care.
> >
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out
forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
> >
> >
> ! ! >THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> >
> >Chain Letter Type 1:
> >
> >
> >(scroll down)
> >
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> >Make a wish!!!
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> >No, really, go on and make one!!!
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> >Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish
> something else!!!
> >
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> >
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> >Not that, you pervert!!
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> >Is your finger getting tired yet?
> >
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> ! ! >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >STOP!!!!
> >
> >Wasn't that fun?

Hope you made a great wish


Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.
First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by
a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.
It's true!
> >
Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!


> >Here's how it goes:
> >
> >*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed
> off at you for sending
> >them a stupid chain
> >letter.
> >
> >*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed
> off at you for sending
> >them a stupid chain
> >
> >*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be
> pissed off at you for
> >sending them a stupid
> >chain letter and will firebomb your house.
> >
> >Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
> >
> >****
Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats.
This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be
donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a
complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.


Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
Thanks again!!
> >
> >****
> >
> >Chain Letter Type 3
> >
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible
because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.
So this is how it works:
> >
> >Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes
> or something horrible
> >will happen to you
> >like:
> >
*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently recieved this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed
down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she
smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
> >
> >*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he
was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
> >
> >This Could Happen To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser
friends, and everything will be okay.

> >****
> >
> >The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or
luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
> >
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's
been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll
receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda.
>Right?
&g! ! t; >
> >Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll have to look at me naked!

[Spitfire]

Man, you have no idea how many times ive seen that one in my inbox but it keeps cracking me up.

[Chapel]

That is pretty damn funny.

[el tigre]

Forward it on to all people who actually send chain letters to you, it soon gets you off of their mailing lists.

Touchy little fuckers that they are.

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Does anyone know the secret formula? :�

[Impaler]

(Greek expletive)!!! That's the funniest thing I've seen all damn summer. Which goes to show how sad my life really is.

I ought to try this on the people who send me more chain letters per day than there are hairs on an ape's ass.

Is it hypocritical to ask someone to pass it on though? :P

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You call this a friggin' signature?