Sijun Forums :: View topic

fate135 · junior member Member # Joined: 30 Mar 2003 Posts: 8

Just need a crit on this image before i go and paint over it.

SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATED PIC #2

V Shane · Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2003 10:16 pm

Mermaids. hmmmmm.
_________________
Lichen Rice is worse than Licorice

Coldbook · Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2003 12:31 am

Hey ya, like aways feel free to kick me in the teeth.

Just one part of the image that worries me. Mermaids so underwater. The man seems to be trying to escape. But since the arm covers the face he seem oblivious to the mermaids. Maybe you could try twisting the torso a little more towards the veiwer and have the arm covering the face swang back a little (in paint you can give this arm movement by bubbles around the arm) and the face looking down in horrow while the other arm is left where it is, maybe expand the paper upwards to complete the arm.

if you don't understand, with your permission i'll do a quick sketch.
_________________
Bonza

eyalyab · Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2003 1:50 am

i agree with coldbook.

i just wanted to add that the 3rd mermaid that has her back towards the viewr is in weird tangent with the fella in the pic. it looks like her hair is an extension to his leg, and that his pants are torn above the knee. at least to me, but im weird. took me like more than a moment to figure out the 3rd mermaid over there.

fate135 · junior member Member # Joined: 30 Mar 2003 Posts: 8

Actually i was hoping for this to be more about the desperation to escape the mermaid rather then the horror of realizing what is happening. I guess coldbook, your suggestion makes me think of the latter description. I will try to fix the leg though and expand the upper part of the picture to include the arms.

Yaseck · Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2003 3:18 pm

I would love to see it only with some lineart, without a colour. But this lineart should be very dense.
_________________
..:: Yaseck ::..

fate135 · junior member Member # Joined: 30 Mar 2003 Posts: 8

Somewhat updated, made the leg a bit longer, added some more to the pic.

fate135 · junior member Member # Joined: 30 Mar 2003 Posts: 8

Sorry for the nonworking pictures people, my server host has crapped out on me and deleted all of my files. Please stand by while i go strangle them and try to get my files back up.

In the mean time pics are hosted off geocities.

Coldbook · Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2003 10:59 am

Hey ya, as always feel free to kick me in the teeth.

I'm glad you've extened the paper. But those paralle arms really throw me off. As a thought how about someone in the boat pulling his mate up. It'd also seem like a boarder line thing, meaning his part way to being free and part way of being sucumbed.

And the arm thing, how about that mermaid on the right holding back one of his arms with tension to show his resisting also this will add another element of depth.
_________________
Bonza

Al Ian · Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2003 12:55 pm

I like where this one is going!!!
_________________

http://jmarkey77.home.bresnan.net/

fate135 · junior member Member # Joined: 30 Mar 2003 Posts: 8

Which is better #2(above) or #3(below)

Al Ian · Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 6:16 am

#3

Dosent hide his face!
_________________

http://jmarkey77.home.bresnan.net/

Coldbook · Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 1:19 pm

hey ya, as always feel free to kick me in the teeth.

number 3,

looks much more 'open'.
_________________
Bonza