[Andromeda]

I live in singapore.
Over here, like some other countries around the world, when a young man reaches a certain age, he gets elisted into military service, 'for the good of the country'.

My time is up.

I just came back from a 4 hour pre-enlistment documentation and medical examination. Its a sad process where they proof to you how much official stuff they really know about you. in a not-so-in-your-face way theyve proofed to me that theres no escaping from the government. If i dont like it, i -CANT- leave, no way no how.

Its one thing if you choose to be in the army. Its a totally different thing when youre forced to.
Imagine relaxing in your bed, listening to the music you love one night, and the next morning you get escorted into a bus which takes you to a boat, which in turn takes you to an island where youre gonna stay for a long time.

On my way home i just started thiking bout my life ... sad part was that theres nothing much to think about... cept for my girlfriend.
so i called her.
i got snapped at.
she was tired, havent slept the whole night doing schoolwork.
its not her fault. she was tired.

i tried to think of friends who i can talk to about this. mind draws a blank.
not theyre fault .. i never really got close to any of my friends.
never talked about matters of the heart to ANY of my friends before.

I also found out that i got a high sugar content in my urine ... might have Diabetes like my grandfather.
Gonna die like my grandfather, alone in the hospital pretending everythings ok.

today is Halloween. I like halloween, wanted to paint my fingernails black again, but my mom secretly threw away my nail polish -again-.

Im 22 .. after i leave my National Service(NS) i'll be around 25 ...
25 and no good qualification.
My last certificate was an 'O' level certificate which i got really bad grades.
O level is equivalent to US mmmm ...high school 'I THINK' . not sure. dont really matter anyway.

In singapore anyone with only an O levels certificate cant do nuts. cant survive.
over here they want high education, big names from big schools. they dont care about the arts.

The only thing i can do is draw and paint.
and even THAT i screwed up. i was from a so called arts college, and i flunked that.
hell .. im not even GOOD AT DRAWING OR AINTING ! ..... im just borderline average, and no company wants borderline average !

...
...
...

even in writing im not good at expressing how i really feel. theres so much i want to say but rather not ...

by now you're probably thinking:
"hey the sad man got no one to talk to ... so he posts on Sijun cos on Sijun they only know him by his handle, and so whichever way they judge him it doesnt really matter cos its text .. its all text"

sigh ...

if youve read this far,
thank you.
and i apologise for unloading here ... but i had to do it somewhere.

[Cleoric]

That's awful man

I have my High School diploma and am in college, but I've failed one year, and I'm on my way to failing another year of college, on student loan, so I'm like $18k in debt. With nothing to show so far.

I have no motivation or purpose in life. I get up each morning, and the very first thing that crosses my mind is when the end of the day is going to be there, because that's all I look forward to. Ending the day.

I have no drive to accomplish anything in life. I will die alone and forgetable.

(Just thought I'd join in heh)

[Freddio]

What have you been doing for the 4 years after school?

Ok if there is no way out of military service, there is nothing you can do but embrace it. It will go so much better if you put effort into what you will be doing. You might even get something out of it! Surely they dont lock you up on an island for three years. IM sure you can listen to music also

Don't stress, you'll be with a heap of other guys who will be in your same situation. You will make awesome mates over those three years. Surely you will get paid also so its not like a complete waste of your time. You will learn skills which you will be able to apply in other areas of your life!


good luck with it, I know you must be feeling down, but you have a whole life a head of you, its only for a couple years.

[Anthony]

Life is life - you don't necessarily pick where you're born, or what body you're born into(although I have theories on this too ). You just make do with what you're given, and do your best. Just try to have fun and enjoy each and every day. There's pleasure to be had in a mud puddle if you look at it right. Many people are born into situations far worse than any of us can imagine. Find your happiness not in where you are, or what life throws at you, but in yourself.

[gLitterbug]

I feel with you. I hated my military service too, even though it was probably holiday compared to most since I didn�t do more then 3 weeks of mudcrawling and shit. The rest was Kitchen work mostly But I actually was feeling worse then others that had to do alot of mudshit and whatnot, simply because I hate being forced into doing something I don�t want to. I wish you good luck and hope you can get the best out of it.

About the nothing-to-show thingy, I�m in a similar situation now, but I hope I keep my positive attitude and continue to think it�ll all work out fine

[Gort]

Hey buddy - I didn't go back to school and actively pursue a full swing career till I was 26, so don't sweat it man! I actually met students in college that were in their 40s and 50s. There's a lot worse things in this world to worry about. It isn't the end. You've barely started, and you have some of the best years in front of you!

NO PRISONERS!

[synj]

I agree though, it is kinda what you make of it. I really disliked my job for a while. I figured if I keep disliking it I'll quit soon enough, and that won't help. So I tried to make the best of it and now I am totally devoted and love it. I look at my watch and it's like 8pm and I am like woops I worked overtime by accident again.

There was a guy from singapore on ebay who took my cash and never sent me my shit. the bastard.

Good luck to you! Thankfully, I don't think sinapore has many people to shoot -- so you'll get buff and pick up tons of chicks and have a bunch of loud friends to party with in the end.

[Intuos]

I love Synj. He's always so cheery.

Andromeda, when you start actively TRYING to see things from a positive perspective, positive things will start happening in your life. If you have the mindset that pretty much everything you're going to experience from here on out is going to suck, then it is likely going to suck. If you allow yourself to be open and willing to grow, then you'll do exactly that. There have to be many positives to a military experience that you aren't aware of simply because you don't want to be aware of them. From your posts here I've found you to be quite bright and insightful, and there is no way others in your life don't notice that as well. Give yourself more credit, you deserve it. Open your mind and let yourself grow, and you absolutely can't go wrong.

I know from experience.

[daeldren]

I know how you feel, my parents pushed me into enlisting in the U.S. ARMY as soon as I was out of school, imagine all your friends partying while your on your way to be trained to die for your country. And the funny thing is that Im not even American, half the guys I was training with werent either most of them were from guatamala and one guy was from Laos. But I was discharged for respiratory problems 2 weeks before graduation from basic, which really sucked because at that point I just wanted to finish it. I dont know if I helped you or not but Im just letting you know that your not alone in the world.

[[Shizo]]

You'll be alright, Andromeda. I doubt that any country's Army can be compared in its brutality and danger to the Russian army. That's why i'm not there anymore!
So have fun at your sunny-beach, hand-lotion, bubblegum army

i kid i kid.. good luck

[warden]

Andromeda[*] -

Sounds like you're in a rut, my friend.

Step outside and go for a walk one night soon. Find a quiet place away from society and sit and look around.

After a while you'll come to realize...nothing really matters. You'll take a deep breath and feel a world of stress released.

Once you come to terms with that, you realize life comes down to simple decisions. You either care about something...or you don't.

Yes...or no, type of decisions.

Will you go to the army? Yes
Will you become a better artist by practice? Yes
Do I like the Army? No
Do I have to make the most of it anyway? Yes

...break it down. Find out what's really bothering you and either drop it completely (because nothing really matters)

Or deal with it.

If you're going to put the time in, than put nothing less then you�re all into it. Otherwise you're wasting your time.

Then�likely you'll find your problem lies not in what others are forcing you to do, but rather the amount of effort you put into what you do.

Go to the army, work your ass off and become a better man. You'll find working your ass off (backing your decisions 100%) and being a (good man)... are one and the same.

If you put the effort in, tomorrow will be today, and unlike every other day before.

Now the question is � what is tomorrow to you?

[Finer]

In the army you will get a lot of discipline.
Very good for practicing art. I envy you, I never got do military service and get the discipline. I used my time for parties instead of practicing art, and I really regret that...

[soogarrush]

Ill add my story here...

Graduated High School in June 2002...yay out of high school
Got accepted to a good university....then kicked out before first day of school
Not going to school, im 18....yay still enjoying my "extended" break
Applied/interviewed for couple jobs...have only HS diploma so...no luck
Having nothing to do all day....yay sleep in till 1pm
Most friends left for college elsewhere or busy with school...no fun..at all...
Through all of that, i havent given up hope yet....heck, all the negativity in my life gave me more motivation

but theres still one thing i lack, discipline as said...im a lazy bum...

Anyways, hope everything works out with you. Good Luck!

"be persistent . stay focused . work hard . achieve . profit"

//this formula will serve you in life, no matter what you're doing. Guaranteed.