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Author   Topic : "wierd thingy"
Rat
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Joined: 10 Feb 2002
Posts: 851
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2002 7:38 pm     Reply with quote
I wrote this uh...self conversation? whatsitcalled? a few days ago. ugh. just read it. C&C welcome..
_______________

What am I?

You�re a human...a female human.

I know...that�s not what I meant.

What did you mean?

I�

You?

Fine, then. Who am I?

You are Karen Mendoza.

No, I know my name, but who am I?

I don�t know what you mean. I can�t help you unless I know.

I-I don�t know how to explain. Uh...who am I? What is my role in the world?

You have no role in this world. Though you�re goddess of your own.

But...

But what? You can�t protest the truth. The truth is what keeps us alive.

Us? Us what? Us is nothing! Me! It�s only me! You don�t exist! Leave me alone!

I exist. I am all too real.

No! Get out of my mind! I don�t want you! I don�t need you!

Get out of your mind? I am your mind. To lose me would be to die.

Then kill me! Anything to give me rest! I don�t want you! I hate you!

You can�t get rid of me. Nothing you can do will have any impact.

Yes. Yes it can. See this? See it?! This will get rid of you! When this blade frees my blood, I�ll be rid of you!

Put that down! You don�t know what you�re doing! No!

I know exactly what I�m doing. I am freeing myself. Shut up. Now.

Put it down! No! Don�t do this! You�ll kill yourself! I�ll be without a host! Noooo!

You�ll be without a host? But I thought you said you were my mind? Find another host. I won�t have you any more.

Please! Don�t do this! I need you! I need you! Please...

No. You�ll die with me. I�ll be rid of you. And you won�t plague anyone else. Worm.

Please...please. Don�t do this. Please. Let me live. I�ll help you. I will!

Hollow promises. But my threats aren�t empty.

But...no...please...do�

I�m free...

[ October 23, 2002: Message edited by: Rat ]
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mtw
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Joined: 07 Sep 2002
Posts: 29
Location: near Seattle, Washington

PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2002 8:42 pm     Reply with quote
For some reason it reminds me of Henry Rollin's spoken tracks; "I Know You" particularly. I don't know why.
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Effigy
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Joined: 17 Feb 2002
Posts: 126
Location: England

PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2002 11:27 pm     Reply with quote
bit like a certain part of M. Crichton's 'Sphere'
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Steelwind
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Joined: 24 Oct 2001
Posts: 70
Location: Northeast USA

PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2002 5:52 pm     Reply with quote
Sounds more like a schizophrenic to me. You okay, Rat?

Steelwind
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ReAktor
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Joined: 05 Aug 2002
Posts: 59
Location: Frankfurt/Germany

PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2002 6:09 pm     Reply with quote
Hmm, let me try

As a matter of fact: Face the truth, you are an accident... Welcome to the club. A cancer-like conglomerate of cells and chemicals, controlled by something you hope is free mind but really is nothing more than memories used as reference for trained, pavlovian reactions.
You bear the right name: rat... We all are, in some ways.

How about that as answer? Btw: Good work, you should make a play out of this. Could become intresting
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Rat
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Joined: 10 Feb 2002
Posts: 851
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2002 6:11 pm     Reply with quote
It's a good thing it's fiction...

Thanks, everyone!
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ReAktor
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Joined: 05 Aug 2002
Posts: 59
Location: Frankfurt/Germany

PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2002 8:03 pm     Reply with quote
Of course its fiction...
I would say that, too



By the way: you are really careful with words. I consider this really positive... There are lots of writers out there who write really sloppy. That makes it harder for people like myself to learn englisch...

Keep up the good work...

[ October 25, 2002: Message edited by: ReAktor ]
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gigatron
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Joined: 27 Jun 2002
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2002 8:30 pm     Reply with quote
quote:
Originally posted by Steelwind:
Sounds more like a schizophrenic to me. You okay, Rat?

Steelwind



LOL, some crazy stuff ya...
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Rat
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Joined: 10 Feb 2002
Posts: 851
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2002 10:12 pm     Reply with quote
You've never read those other two stories...nevermind.

Thanks, ReAktor...glad it's easy to understand. I hate the sloppiness of some writers too. It's hard for me to understand half the time...("*thinks* where the hell does this fit...what just happened..?" I hate those sorts of things... )
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[666]Flat
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Joined: 18 Mar 2001
Posts: 1545
Location: FRANKFURT, Germany

PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2002 4:25 am     Reply with quote
That's like opening a fight club right in your head...
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