[kurki]

Picture of my girlfriend for a special day in february. I know the shoulders, the foot and the arm/hand is f**ked-up, but I'm hoping that you could tell me exactly what to do with it.

Thanks.

[eyalyab]

since you said its your girlfriend, you've pretty much limited our options to crit it... but im gonna give it a shot anyway (and try come out of it alive).. ;]

first of all, nice going buddy, she's a hotty (teehee)

now.. i hate to pint it out but the nose is a bit big, and the lips are a bit small. if this is how she looks in real life, it doesnt matter. try to give everything your own "touch". whenever i draw a portrait, i always try to make it a little more how i'd like it to be but without totally changing it.
like making eyes a bit brighter or a chin a little less turky-like.
1st she'd like it more, and 2nd it'll look better.
you dont have to take that advice, but i saw people complaining about not getting enough CnC's so on behalf of that...

everything on her from the knees down has been shrunk too much.

the sleeve near her fist (where the wrinkles are) looks like it "ate" part of her flesh.

nice sketch overall

oh yeah about your question "what to do with it".. how about color it ;]

[Zarathustra]

First, I think you are doing a lot of things right.

Assuming you were drawing from life, maybe you should start over again and try to "step back" from your drawing more often to check relative proportion. It looks like you tended to concentrate on a given area and forgot how it related to the whole. The center of gravity of the figure seems a bit off also, which could be related to the same problem.

I think, generally, you might want to review your anatomy books because it might help you make more natural choices in pose and the relationship between body parts. I'm not sure if you meant this to be a stylized portrait, but the waist seems very narrow relative to the hips and shoulders. Also, the head seems strangely swept back from its joint with the neck and body. You seem to be having a bit of trouble with perspective, seen most clearly in the unnatural height of the left shoulder (her left), the appearance of a smaller left breast, and the strange, outwardly turned angle of the left foot (just look back at your own foot in that position and you'll see the sole should be facing away.) Basically, the foreshortening and perspective on the foreground part of the figure has these perspective artefacts.

So, some more anatomy study, and another look at perspective techniques might fix this right up.

[AndyT]

Good points eyalyab! I'd try to lower the right shoulder (her left). Her left side and the legs seem strange as eyalab said. I'd think about correcting her torso and cropping the image differently ... maybe get rid of the part below her hand and give her more space above the head and to the left.

Btw. the hand looks fine imho.

Hehe Zarathustra! Didn't see your post. Your first!?
_________________
http://www.conceptworld.org

[kurki]

Some refs:
http://webzone.k3.mah.se/k00ah0fk/linked/777.jpg
http://webzone.k3.mah.se/k00ah0fk/linked/888.jpg

I think you all have a point. Do not know if I want to start all over again though... but I still have 3 weeks to go before it has to be done. I'll be back to check for more opinions ande a revised scetch in a couple of days.

And no worries. You can be (quote?) brutaly honest. I can take it, and should my gf for once ever happen to surf into this place and see it, never happened before, she can take it too.
_________________
"The Way is in training. Know the Ways of all professions. Become acquainted with every art. Percieve those things which cannot be seen. Do nothing which is of no use. The path of the Warrior is lifelong, and mastery is often simply staying on the path." - Miyamoto Musashi
Fredrik Kurki - Online

[Zarathustra]

AndyT,

Yep, my first post! And I'll soon be putting myself on the hot seat by presenting some work of my own for critique.

kurki,

As far as being brutally honest is concerned, I can honestly say I see that you are good at this and that working hard to perfect these little anatomical gotcha's would be well worth your time. And as far as starting over is concerned, I assume you mean this drawing is supposed to be a gift, and you want to make sure its done in time while keeping a low profile. I understand your point. In that case, fixing up a few little things will be sufficient, and I'm sure she'll be delighted with your drawing.

[Tinusch]

Not bad, but I'm not sure whether a girl would appreciate a picture of her with oversized torpedo-breasts, on her knees. Just make sure you know how she'll react to this. Otherwise, maybe put her in a more flattering pose, and deflate those breasts a little bit.

[Zarathustra]

Tinusch makes some very good points, which I second. I hadn't really considered the composition. Perhaps if she were seated with her legs folded under her, that would be better than kneeling.

[kurki]

Haven't thought of that. Don't think it's a problem. But there's a wide scale

Problem ----------- Okay ----------- Fine ----------- Good ----------- Perfect

And: (reality) not equal to (problem) doesn't mean (reality) equal to (perfect), wich is of cource, the goal.

Thanks again.
_________________
"The Way is in training. Know the Ways of all professions. Become acquainted with every art. Percieve those things which cannot be seen. Do nothing which is of no use. The path of the Warrior is lifelong, and mastery is often simply staying on the path." - Miyamoto Musashi
Fredrik Kurki - Online

[eyalyab]

hey.. that chair in the ref's is from IKEA. i have that chair.. (comfi)

yep, i agree about the pose.. if you can, make her sit on her folded legs, so her butt touches the ankles. its more appealing. from the refs, it does look like you inflated her breasts. she might think its a suggestion.. and may be a problem, as people said here before me.

does she know you are drawing her?

[kurki]

Acctually Its a POEM - chair, from 1981. But it's IKEA, that is right. Got it from my parents attic when I moved out last year. (as the table and the shelf, the bed and the mirror in the bg's - all IKEA and from my folks)


She saw an earlier scetch (how the f.. fish do you spell that word?) and asked what is was for. I said I was just doodleing around and she bought it. That scetch had larger breasts, smaller waist and she told me that I should make the boobs and butt bigger.

So I don't se her porportions like you do, but she is far worse herself.
_________________
"The Way is in training. Know the Ways of all professions. Become acquainted with every art. Percieve those things which cannot be seen. Do nothing which is of no use. The path of the Warrior is lifelong, and mastery is often simply staying on the path." - Miyamoto Musashi
Fredrik Kurki - Online

[eyalyab]

lolz. maybe she's planning on surprising you too ;]

[Zarathustra]

kurki,

Having looked at the references (didn't before), I can see the drawing is a departure from the real person. I wouldn't worry too much about what she thinks she should look like or what you think she should look like, IMHO. She's a fine looking girl as is, but the bottom line is you have to draw what you see, I think. I have always felt that honest portaits are the most beautiful regardless. Also, phrases like "my butt should be bigger" may be misperceptions and you shouldn't overdo it. The human form is subtle and a slight change can make the difference, so making the "butt bigger" may only mean a slight narrowing of the waist or improving the line along the backside just a little.

Drawing one's girlfriend can be tough because of the mental blocks you have that you wouldn't for someone else. It becomes harder to see properly. I have had trouble drawing my wife for that reason.

[eyalyab]

i agree with zarathustra about drawing someone you know (personally)
after a while you get to know every part of their face/body and it gets on your nerves. suddenly you dont want to see that person anymore (while you draw it) or you dont even feel like continuing to work on it.
you'll see what im talking about when you color it (if you will, and if you really work on detail).

anyways good luck

[Capt. Fred]

Sole of shoe should be obscured, out of sight - perspective is out of context.
Cool pic tho. Try making the 'cuff' more closely linked/joined to the seelve. Okay, so she said bigger bum, but those thighs, they stay pretty beefy for quite a way before becoming very thin; arm/wrist thin from knee to foot.

hey! I dunno! I'm only guessing here!