[ejwize]

Ok... after the boring/technical gubtug's retirement, I would like to try something a little more dynamic... so here's the idea for the next one which came to me in a half-waking state early yesterday morning...



This was just meant to quickly get the idea down, so I may play with the composition from here... or the figures might be better placed some other way so there isn't as much twisting.. hrm.. actually the twisting is pretty interesting. Just have to be careful that it comes across as possible... I'm at least going to try to make the arms a little more natural.

I guess what I'm saying is, feedback on overall concept, design and composition would be timely.

Definitely potential for more energy, color and freedom with the subject matter.

[lalPOOO]

alright, I'm not trying to be an ass. Like just so thats been said and you know.

I don't see how you expect others to give comments on that, while it may just be a "sketch" and your just flushing out the concept, I seriously doubt anyone here will be able to offer real advice at this point.

Its like my little brother drawing a picture (hes 7) and then asking me how to make it look amazing, but its just simplistic lines and circles in crayon. I can't help you any more then I can help him, and I think that'd be pretty much the same with everyone else.

Just incase you somehow missed what I wrote first, I'm going to repeat it, I'm not trying to ruin your day or wreak your life. I'm just trying to tell you something (and if you already know, which you may. Then the question would be, why post it in the first place?)

I'm not an amazing artist, but I think if you ask for help at a later stage, thered be a lot more people could do for you.

[ejwize]

heh.

I like threads that show an evolution in the work. I'm just laying the foundation for that with a sketch so that the process is clear for possible discussion at a later time.

I also thought it would keep me motivated.

Unfortunately, between thanksgiving and a rush job that's come in, it hasn't evolved much from the point you see it at now.

In fact, here it is in its current state:



No comments necessary. Although I think it will be funny if you make a comment when I'm done on an aspect of the image that should have been addressed at this stage.

[Link_omega]

Personally I think you got something going...
If you carefully color it in you'll and give the current image more weight instead having that see through texture or instead make it appear like a pair of holograms duking it out as in boxing match it would be awesome!
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Thankyou for your time.

Click here to critique me if you like!

[gezstar]

what i'd like to see to add a sense of speed/motion, even though i know it's a comical pic, is the distant ground. just a horizon or whatever, on the edge of the pic, to show they're high up and spinning.

it's looking like it'll make for a funny image

[ejwize]

had a chance to put a little more time into this today.

[ejwize]

Little more.

[ejwize]

Got into it tonight.

[-Ravaran-]

You should see Hayao Miyzaki's "Porco Rosso" sometime. There's a dogfight in which both pilot's guns jam, and they begin hurling equipment at each other whilst flying side by side, and eventually land to have it out on the ground. This painting reminds me of that scene.
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Ravaran

[ejwize]

Cool, Rav. I'll look for it sometime. I was thinking of titling this one "out of ammo" and riddling both planes with bullet holes.



Little more progress. I'm enjoying building this up slowly. It's definitely been a good learning exercise in terms of technique. I've been able to work through some frustrating spots.

I'm not entirely happy with the color. It's a little too coloring bookish for me... like, one plane is blue and the other is red and the skin on one guy is brown and the other is yellow... I would like to work at narrowing my palette and get better at building the effectiveness of colors with other colors.

There is still a LOT to work on with this one. I'll keep playing.

[Adonai]

i like it.. I can honestly say I wasn't too impressed with that first picture, but you've come a long, nice way with it! good job!

[gigatron]

LOL! I love it, its definetely got a manga/animae like feel Its great!
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Open your eyes... and see the world as it really is...

[bastian]

lol, funny

[ejwize]

Hehe I'm glad it's coming across as funny. At this point, I have no idea whether it is actually funny or not... it's become a big pile of technical puzzles in my eyes. I haven't really been trying to keep it funny, but I guess the concept still comes through on first look.

Anyway, here is a little more time put in. I tried to enrich the color a bit... gonna keep on playing.

[lalPOOO]

Hmmm, I guess I was wrong. I honestly thought this was just sort of an "idea" I didn't know you were going to build on it. I must say it looks pretty good, although it stll needs work, it has promise.

[ejwize]

Here's a little more progress:

[Xyster21]

Good job... made me laugh at first glance of the last WIP. When I looked at the first sketch I honestly had little idea what you had planned other than 2 objects that looked like robots floating with one arm each and a rat poking out of a hole on the right ... but that is what's cool about a true simple sketch sometimes... it is all in your head and when everyone else looks and goes "what the hell...?" scratching their heads and thinking "dam man this guy blows" then later after working on it they say "well damn skippy... " (if there is someone named skippy out there on the forum in no way did I mean by that to damn you - apoligize ) then... ok ignore me at this point because i'm just running off with words heh.

But it's looking better and better every update. Only thing is the character on the right I just want to see with detail since the one on the left has all the detail and none for the right character... just kinda irritates me but hey it's a WIP and you can't truly judge something unless it's done and the viewer understands it and it's intentions for the artist set out for at first etc etc and so on and so forth blah...

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Meep meep

[ejwize]

Thanks for the nice comments, Xyster.

Yeah, I've been feeling like the character on the right lacks interest... I've been trying to think of a cool detail that would bring him into balance, but it hasn't come to me yet. I added a purple tattoo kind of thing to his face, but it doesn't really read well at this scale and it's pretty bland.

I think I'm also going to put some patches on the shoulders of his jacket.

Here's a closer look at what's going on with these guys:



I'll keep thinking on it.

[ejwize]

Still putting time into this thing.

[topeira]

ha! i love seeing a pic from sketch to final ver. this looks absolutly cool. the idea is exccelent and the pic as a drawing came out very nice. is the last post the final post? the difference between the post before (the one before the clos-up) and the last one is very interesting. u have done some really nice tuneing. very nice.
only thing - the ground looks blured, as it should, usually, but there are some lines on the building and the road that r too sharp compared to the other details on the ground. i think those lines should be less obvious and more blurred. it's like some part are out of focus (as they should from such a great distance) and some part are too sharp.

other than that - it's great!!
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ToPeirA

[ejwize]

Thank you for the feedback. I'm about to post the final version in the gallery forum.

Here's the link... http://forums.sijun.com/viewtopic.php?p=294806#294806

I'll link the image here too to complete the cycle.