[Basement bound]

Alright here is the low down. I come from a Mid-middle class family, not really religous. I say Mid-middle, because there is a huge range of middle class today.
Here's the thing My sister. Heaven help her!!
She is pregnate for the third time. This is the second father to her children. She has never been married. She has been a constant sore when it came to school, going, droping out, going, droping out all the way to University (which she got kicked out of during the first year). Her first pregnancy came while living with guy A. She moved out of province(state) and had child A, to which were not aware of until Grandmas b-day three weeks later. This was at the age of 19, yes I said 19!! About a year -year and a half. She is back home and comes in one day laughing.
I say "what is so funny"
"ha-ha I am pregnate again."
"serious?"
"Yeah!"
Well, first off I don't like the situation or the attitude. Having Child A, okay so all things don't go to plan. Accidents do happen. I say with hesation. "I am too fertile for the pill" fine I can kinda buy that. But, there is no reason for having the second. You know the pill don't work, use a condom or even double up. Now she seperated from Father A and was doing well, kinda straighting up. She then found Father B and has been living with him for about two to three months now, dated longer than that, say six months. POP, HERES NUMBER THREE!!! ARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!! What possible reason could she come up with that this could happen!!! SUPER SPERM!! Just move into the trailer park (if anyone lives in a t.park no offence, sorry, there are some great ones out there. It is an expression at this time). She is a fairly smart girl, just STUPID!!!!

regards from Trailer 7326, the broken down one with the rusting bucket we call a car on blocks on the front lawn.

Disclaimer: Not responable for poor refrences, this is purly an emotional post. For now.

[Vesuvius]

you sound pretty heartless.
she's your sister, she may have horrible judgment but your attitude towards her as a person is disturbing, and possibly just as bad as her negligence.

[ July 15, 2002: Message edited by: Vesuvius ]

[ValarianROOT]

Ves' may be right you don't want to end up sounding like this GIRL... yes its a girl that has this page.

The Misanthropic Bitch

Look under "Stupid People" to get the gist of the site.

JN

P.S. As agressive and nasty as she gets I do have to agree with some of what she says.

[Gimbal8]

Vesuvius: When people close to you, especially family, constantly do horrible things in their life and you are helpless to do anything about it...well, nevermind.

I don't think I can explain it except to say that there is nothing wrong Basement Bound's reaction. If he thought everything was peachy, then THAT would be wrong. His anger and frustration are a result of the fact that he gives a damn but is powerless to save her from herself.

[[Shizo]]

First thought: yeah.. that is pretty stupid
Second thought: sex is good!! lube that thing up baby and BANG BANG BANG! fingerbang!

[Aber]

I'm with Shizo.

[Rat]

That is stupid.

My best friend's going down that road.

[Coaster]

thats not heartless, suggesting she use the babies as a renewable fuel source and nutritional suppelement is heartless.

yeah I'm going to hell now for sure.

(sorry if that was offensive blah, I just want you guys to know what real heartless remarks are, from someone who knows how to abandon his emotions at the right time (and wrong))

[vigilo]

Is your family supporting her? They don't have to, she needs to learn, let her feed the kids alone for a few years.

If you don't support her let her breed, its her life.

[Basement bound]

Well, I just finished going shopping with a friend and had dinner. Relaxed a little. Of course I have not given all there is about my sister. I do love her and I love her kids. I don't think that I am better than her. I just see all the things that my parents have done for her and she just throws it out the window and kicks them where it hurts. I feel sorry for my parents for doing alot for her, sacrifices and most of the time she thinks nothing of it. She has always been manipulative and selfish. It truely breaks my heart, and makes me furious that she keeps making it worse for herself.

vesuvius-I am not heart less. I sometimes think that people get what they deserve. Sad it might be. Just like children sometimes have to get their finger caught in the door before they learn. I moutain bike hard. I crash, bump, bruse, scrape and cut. I deserve it, it hurts, but I learn. My sister doesn't seem to learn.

Val- She is cruel, and painful. Right sometimes. Just like Dr. Laura. I listen to the good doctor because it amazes me how so many people don't know what is right and moral anymore.

Gimbal- glad you see what I am talking about.


shizo- Sex is great. Hell I am two years older than her. And four years older than by brother(he has a one year old too). Yet I don't have any kids(and yes I do partake in the sinny sin sin).

Hey kiddies use protection.

Aber-
Rat- sorry to hear that.
coaster - Yeah, like all of a sudden your going to hell.

Vig- support is a grey area. we do all kinds of stuff to 'help'. Like letting her go out to have fun three nights a week, while my 55 year old Father looks after a three and two year old. Use and abuse. Not that we can stop her from breeding. We love the children... to death. heck, I am their God Father. I just don't want their lives to go down the drain because their Mother never grew up.

I am Basement bounds emotions....calm and collected now.

[Pixel Soldier]

I apologize if I missed the reference somewhere in this thread, but are you a guy or a girl? Most people just assume that everyone here, for the most part, is male. Just wondering...

Anyway, you mentioned that you weren't really religious. Has your sister considered ever having an abortion? I'm not going to state my OPINION on that VERY touchy subject one way or another, but I just thought I'd inquire as to what your sister's mindset on the idea might be.

Love is THE single most influential and intoxicating emotion we have. I'm sure that most (if not all) of us have done some really crazy things for love. It has a hold on us like no other emotion. Some people even die for it. It makes us do silly, stupid, spontaneous, and even wonderful things.

Given that I can understand you and your family have gotta be awfully frustrated with your sister at this point, but if you've ever been in love, you can understand just SLIGHTLY how she might have ended up in this position.

How old is she now?

[Rat]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Basement bound:
...heck, I am their God Father...

---

Pixel - That tell you something?

[Pixel Soldier]

oops, missed that - thanks Rat.

[V Shane]

quote

Quote:

I do love her and I love her kids

There you go. What kind of love is it? Conditional or Un-Conditional love?

Some people spend way too much mental and emotional energy trying to figure out or control anothers path in life. Its cool and acceptable to feel how ever it is you feel. But it doesn't mean you have to react to it.

Will any reaction help? Build confidence? Contribute to greater depth of understanding between the two of you?

Lots of people are born everywhere under circumstances I can't even fathom, as long as the support is there, and your giving the best of your love without hate or control, then you'll find your sisters company and circumstances alot more enjoyable.

Un-Conditional.......there is alot in that word.

[edraket]

Some things that are not clear to me after reading all this and that seem to be, to me at least, the most important things.

Does she want them?
Can she care for them?

As it appeared to me it is that she was extremely nonchalant about putting another person on this world. In which case she should be sterilized.
That people insist on having children is bad enough as is. But they shouldn't be able to have them out of ignorance.

[X -ECUTIONER]

all very poetic,but gay,come on guys jood all be pist if it was your sister,you guys seem some times to live in a fantasy world get real!weak as fuk or wot.

[pappuftp]

well,
in all this talk. lets just forget for a moment what basement hound feels and what we feel and what his parents feel and what his sis feels..
give a thought.
what about the children?
how will they react when they come to know when their brothers and sisters have the same mom but 3 different fathers..
daddy 'a' comes and hug his kiddies. daddy 'b' gives no shit about his child and never bothers to get in touch.. daddy c = same as daddy a.
so what is the second child gonna feel .. seeing his/her bros nad sis'parents get together and he/she feeling kinda 'aleinated'?
how wil they cope with it all?
in that case basement hound .. ur sis is stupid!..
i am with u..
we all love sex dont we?
but its not about sex

[Nilwort]

quote

Quote:

but its not about sex

yes it is! (about sex that is)

This page is just too appropriate right now: http://www.vhemt.org


STOP REPRODUCING!

(edited for clarity)

[ July 16, 2002: Message edited by: Nilwort ]

[Vesuvius]

no, I understand it's frustrating and his sister seems very irresponsible, I just felt on my first reading of the post that he seemed a bit too involved in saying all the ways she's stupid and white trash, and not so much the more relevant stuff like why she's doing this or what has been done to try to convince her to be more responsible.

of course, my feeling this way on sijun is the height of hypocrisy since I'm usually the first one on these forums to show my anger.

[Basement bound]

Akkk,
Just spent 20 min replying and I put too many happy faces to post, back buttom deleted it all... groan.

pixel soldier- she is 23 now. Value of life was part of our up bringing. My sister and I were adopted from birth. So abortion is like deleting ourselves, not desirable. I think abortion has a place, I just think it is a easy way out.

Vshane- Un-conditonal for her my sister. Condional for a human being and a member of society. Just because she is my sister does not change what she has and is doing. We are not just talking about her here. I am not going to scorne or punish her.

erdakat- These were all unplanned, accidents. She wants them, but does not mean that she should get them (I am speaking generally here). She has always found a way to support things. Livin boyfriend and payday Father A are doing the supporting now. She just quit a job, for fair reasons, but not hitting the pavement for another waitress or bartending job.

Travi boy- Perfect words. Have you been through this too?

X -ECUTIONER- I am believe me!!

puppuftp- This is the whole thing. It is just as much about the children as it is about my sister. More so in fact. We are not just talking about something like a tattoo here, she is making mistakes that is screwing others that can't make decisions for themselves.

Nilwort- I somtimes feel that way. there is that line (can't recall the title or the artist) "Only stupid people are procreating"

Vesvious- I am involved because they are my God children too. Plus I had a hand in raising them for the early years. My family is fairly close. So as things like this happen, it like a big kick in the nuts. Reasons she does this,
1. could be little crime and punishement in her upbringing (no real judgement here Mom and Dad)
2. She is caniving and manipulative by nature.
3. Has no goals or desires.
4. Etc.

What we have done.
I take out the two once everyother week. But never looking after them if she could not or did not want to.
Explained my disappointment, and understanding for the mistake of the first child.
Conversations about limitation inducers she is creating for herself.

I apprectiate all your comments.

[travis travis]

vesuvius: like gimbal was saying, having a person like that in your life, particularly siblings, is pure torment to the soul. Imagine being in a family where your parents have busted their asses to give you whatever they can and raise a normal family, and you have a brother or sister that has always been self-destructive and unconcerned about the decisions they make. it's actually almost more trying for the other siblings then the parents, cause the parents have to forgive their kids anything, but the other siblings aren't going to be so happy to see their parents and rest of their family mocked and used like that. it's hard to loose love for your brothers and sisters, but it's not so hard to get torn up about some of the things they do. and sorry but if you're dealing with a person who has had no problem making lifelong contrary, foolhardy, cruel choices - sympathizing with them for each new mess just isn't part of the equation.