[Jolyon]

Hi everyone, be patient it�s worth it (170k)

This is one of my first pieces ever to be put in the finished section so go easy only joking give it a good c&c-ing too.

This is an advert I just finished to be put in a London based publication. Dedicated to film and media. I would like some feedback from professionals and non-professionals alike. having a broad range of opinions always helps my design along due to the fact that if I have worked on something for a long time I am obviously biased. Tell me what you think works, what doesn�t work, I am happy with it now, but am sure I have missed something . The ad is actually balanced out for 2 different companies. The top half is really Mundo studios and the second is our company piggy-backing on their advert, as their designers are pretty terrible, I was comissioned to do the whole thing. So please please crit even if you aren�t professional all feedback will be extremely useful. (But don�t say things like (It�s crap... give me a reason why) Thanks everyone!

[Nicodemus]

wow! nicely done

[melted petal]

Looking very nice. I enjoy the color scheme, the flow, and the overall effect you have going on here.

A few things.

In the first series of point you have them riding the text flush against the edge of the underlying circle. I would move them a bit away from it so they have a little breathing space in there.

This may just be personal taste but I would replace "Film & Tape Score" with something shorter so that it isn't hitting both circles. It disrupts the flow.

You might also try and wrap the lower portion of the first points around both circles. Kind of an s wave thing going on.

I like how the circle elements seem to get closer as you move down the piece, in a sort of arrow pointing to the lower center but I would maybe move the blue VTY circle to the right a bit for just a bit more breathing room there. Will reduce the squahsed look.

Looks like "Plasma Screens for Playback and Screening" is a tricky element. Always something thats got to be a pain in the keester when you have the perfect flow going and BAM! Might try playing around with it some more. Right now it's an OK solution but as first I thought it went with the text to the left of it.

And now for the bottom 3 elements. Increase the leading just a hair or two on the contact information. With such a vertical driven font it looks like it needs just the tiniest smidge more room, though I think it's just part of your style with the packedness of it.

I would personally move the "MARBELLA - SPAIN" up off the bottom a bit. If you have the white border I wouldnt worry about it as much but if it not you run the risk of it being cut by the printer.

Sorry to be so nit picky. Hope it helps. I'd love to see this post. No pun intended. Post it up here when the final is out.

[snarf]

That was so incredibly narrow-minded Marakaz.

Of course it is art. Who are you to define what art is or is not?

Art means something different to everyone.

[Marakaz Buzjuz]

very skilfully made! very good work.. but not art

[Jolyon]

Hi people,

Thanks very much for the replies!

Nicodemus - Thanks for the complement!

Melted Petal - Love the nick thanks for the very insightful c&c It�s great seeing it from someone else�s point of view. I agree with all your ""nitpicks"" I had some problems, as you usually do with clients. They want the text ... bigger... and bigger... and bigger and then that pushed all the flow to pieces. Then they decide "hey let�s add some more text in here." and I said "It was designed for a certain amount of text, if you add that it�ll break the flow, also it�s not in the brief or the quote" and then as you can imagine I gave in ... I�m too weak, anyway I�ll give it some final tweaking and then post it back up here. What do you think about the colour gradient down the sides? I�ve tried lots of combos and that seemed best, but everyone has their own colour preferences. Thanks again!

Marakaz Buzjuz - erm... thankyou, I think !? If people can find art in a pile of bricks on the floor, an animal cut in half, or elephant shit spread over a canvas, I think you might ... possibly... be able to class this as art... possibly

Snarf - Thanks I agree not taking sides but I do think everyone sees art and beauty in different things, for me it�s in beautiful design.. mostly

Thanks I hope to be putting up more stuff in the future for you to see! Cheers.

[strata]

Impressive... I currently work as a graphic designer myself making this kind of thing, and I have to say, this is class mate!!

I'm not sure what kind of magazine it's going to be printed in though (since it's so high), but if you went for a newspaper, wouldn't alot of the detail and color get lost?

Anyhow, I love the composition of it! You've got a lot of stuff happening in the background behind the text, but it's in no way interfering with the text which is a difficult thing to pull off (not too much, not too little)

the only thing I would say could be improved is the top part behind your company name... it melts in too much with the left and right side... removes from the contrast in a way...

but other then that, very impressive work!

What's the job situation for graphic designers like in spain?

[Jolyon]

Hi mate,
Cheers for the praise, always helps Glad to hear from other designers on here! Thanks for the tip, I�d have to agree, I have one of those clients who does give me a bit of creative license, unfortunately, there are things that she wants done and will not let me convince her otherwise. So I had to have that sky in there, but yeah I might try and change the contrast so it doesn�t melt in so much. There�s a fair amount of work for designers down here, just finding the right company is very difficult. The lifestyle and the weather... very hard to beat. Especially in Marbella. Fast cars, fast boats, fast women... of which I have none... YET! (A few fast women though.. wow) so if you want some more info drop me a line.

[strata]

I used to live in Torremolinos last year actually, and from what I figured there wouldn't really be a good market for people like us down there as there's not quite an industry... but I guess that would be very different in larger cities...

I know what you mean about the climate and the women though, VERY hard to beat...

At the moment, my girlfriend and I are planning on moving back to Sweden, but if that doesn't work out, then shit yeah! Spain it is! =D

So are you fluent in spanish or does that not matter at your company?

[Jolyon]

Yeah I do speak fluent spanish, but it isn�t really a major problem if you don�t on the coast, because most people speak English. The market has been split wide open now. There is a massive need for good designers. People want classy, modern looking, stylish ad�s, corporate images etc. People that have moved down here from places like America etc to start business�s that don�t have in house designers, need to use design firms that are here. Most of them are crap, ours is one of the best down here which means there�s a shitload of work for us at the moment... I�m not complaining! I would still like to eventually end up in the US or maybe Sweden or Norway. Very good designers up there!

[strata]

sounds great! Let's just hope the market stays that way! So how's the money?(obviously by spanish standards)

[Jolyon]

well at the moment I�m getting a good salary for down here about 2000 GBP a month so it�s quite good for this place. But I work for an International company, most people earn about 600 - 1000 GBP a month. I�m considered a valuable asset to my company hehe

[strata]

2000 sterling?? IN SPAIN??? Jesus christ boy! I lived for 3 months on that amount of money! You have your own maid and waiter and stuff?? =D

that's more than half a million pesetas man... and a beer is like 360p tops? =D

you're making out like a bandit! Congratulations!

on the other hand... tengo los gatos en mi pantalones, so there.

[Jolyon]

Hehe well thanks ... I�m 21 as well so that�s good ... perfect timing ... hopefully "things can only get better" My material keeps on getting better so I�m well chuffed! I�ll e-mail u I think instead of turning this thread into a "let�s all live in Spain..." thread !

[strata]

ah, send it to [email protected] instead, the mail in my profile is wrong... =)

[ken]

hey joylon. technically it's really superb, but there's something about it that doesn't quite shine. there's nothing that immeadiately catches your eye or draws your attention, and there's no path for the eye to follow, apart from a general downwards. IMHO.

-Ken

[Jolyon]

In a way I�m glad you said that mainly because I was trying to avoid that. Tehre are two companies that have bought advertising space, so they don�t want either persons ad to look more interested or better than the other so I tried to give it a balance. The direction is downwards in a curving path, mainly because that�s the only way to go and I also want them to feel as though they end up drawn towards the lower half as it is our company hehe hence the slight narrowing of the circular components. What would you suggest that would make it shine and give it more direction? I�m not sure exactly what you mean, so any pointers would be good, thanks, Jol.

[Zephyros]

nice! Kern your headlines!!!!