[jdillon]

Hello

Well, I'm just another first-time poster but long-time lurker, finally getting up the courage to post a picture in the hopes of having her work ripped apart by the pros. For the past few years I've been doing mostly anime art, but I'm really trying to break away from that and try different things. I don't have a lot of formal training yet, so there are a lot of areas I need work on, but I've already learned a lot from reading the topics here, and I'm hoping that actually posting here will help me learn more.

Anyway, here is my most recent picture; I've been working it for a while, but I'm not really sure I'm happy with it; I thought I was finished, but looking at it now, it looks kind of funky. Is there anything you think needs work, or anything I should keep in mind next time around? Be honest, and don't worry about sugar-coating it. And yes, I know I need to study anatomy; that's definitely a problem area for me...



Thank you in advance for any advice or help you can offer.

-Julie

[wigin]

wow impressive... I REALLY REALLY REALLY like the background symetry ( sp?) Seriously goodwork...

And like to mentioned your are right about the anatomy. Should be something you work on. Maybe next painting you should take a reference shot before you start??

Anyways great work this is digital right?

[Ian Jones]

I Love it!

what did you do it with? It doesn't look cg, although certain areas do. (it probably is Photoshop)

Great design, funky idea...!

The first problem I noticed was his cast shadow on the floor. There are a number of problems with it. It is the wrong shape. It should be longer and stretched out towards the viewer, due to the position of the lower lightsource, just like in the afternoon when the sun is almost at the horizon, your shadow will be really long when viewed outside. However I can also see why you drew it close in to the body, because of the upper light...hmmm. you have a tricky one there. You need to consider the shape of the shadow for each individual lightsource. Certainly change the shape of the lower lights reflection... that one should be a little elongated. I don't think I can really help you much with the shape of the shadow, I'm having trouble working that one out.

One thing I can say for sure is that the shadow is too dark. It would be receiving a lot of ambient light, diffuse scattering... from the other lights and surfaces. its colour would also be affected by its surroundings... it should be a shade of the aqua floor colour. I also noticed that even though you have considered the cast shadow for the man, his clothing needs to cast a little bit more shadow than it is right now.

Like I mentioned before, about surfaces being affected by the surrounding colours... your floor, and the red drapery need to affect each others colours. Think about why this would happen, its because light hits a surface, and depending on its colour, reflects that same colour and affects surrounding objects. Go back to colour theory to learn about subractive and additive colour, to understand this more.

ok, I just noticed that you managed to do this on the underside of his arms and side of his torso, well observed. You now need to consider the other surfaces in the scene!

Can I just say something positive before continuing.. That drapery and clothing is fantastic! You have done really well there.

ok.. Overall I think it lacks some depth, but I'll agree that due to the wall being directly behind him, this is difficult. You could however introduce some slightly darker shadows to push back into space. Darkness recedes, light pushes forward.

Sharpen it up a little, there are a lot of fuzzy edges around the place. Add some minute detail to some areas to help this.

I love the patterns and marbling effect on the architecture.. and the gold symbol on the floor, they are really cool.

The golden dome/spike is good too, you have a good understanding of how reflections are shaped by its surface. Good job.

I can also see areas where you have worked with warm and cool colours to help define form. Good job. Cool recedes, warm pushes forward.

What else can I say! (anatomy! only teasing)

I hope that helps.. I tried to pick it apart quite a lot, but overall it is really good! I hope to see more from you.

[Novacaptain]

Very nice!

I think there might be some problem with the perspective:

If the lines on the floor are paralel they'd meet at a vanishing point near the man's chest. By this analysis, the hole in the guy's stomach would reveal the lower part of his insides. The upper edge of the structure that has a slight "U-shape" would probably not be seen.

The pool of light created by the first hole would probably be beyond the lower end of the picture.

The amount of ambient/reflected light in the room would probably not allow for such a black shadow.

I don't know why but I get the impression that he's hovering a few inches off the floor.

[Justin Kramer]

Hiya julie. Nice piece...don't usually see mystical artwork round here. The design is very cool.

The main thing I noticed was that you seem to have over-noodled certain areas, i.e. using too many strokes and kinda fudging around -- especially in the chest/upper arm area on the dude. I would suggest trying to incorporate more spontaneity: try to use fewer, more precise and effective strokes. This can be hard with things like anatomy (who doesn't fudge anatomy?), but I think it would help make your work more dynamic.

More dramatic lighting might also help.

Again, good stuff. Hope you keep posting.

[LoTekK]

i'm with novacaptain about the hovering comment... actually, the whole time i was reading the comments i was still under the impression that he was hovering, until novacaptain's comment... that's also why the shadow threw me completely...

anyways, i really like this piece... i've been an avid fan of your anime/manga work, and was disappointed when i tried looking for your forum after a long hiatus and couldn't find the link on your page... anyways, this piece seems a lot darker in theme than any of your previous works that i've seen, and i have to say i really like it...

i don't have any other critiques, though, aside from what's already been said...

[Duncan]

I realy like the concept and design of this pic.
i dont know, maybe the person could use more contrast.

[Quasar]

This is a far cry from your anime work which I have seen around the web for years and I even seen your published anime work in that book awile back...very impressive being published at such a young age . I think the piece is cool...glade to see that you are trying new things.. though let me be the first to say always go where your interests lie and you wont go wrong!!

[jdillon]

Wow, thanks for all the help! This really was more than I was expecting; thanks everyone! I did my best to fix up some of the errors, and I'll be sure to keep the rest of everyone's advice in mind on my other pictures.

Here is an updated version. I adjusted the guy's shadow, sharpened some of the outlines, brought the body down so it didn't look so floaty (it was actually even worse than that on an earlier draft; He was a good half-foot off of the floor ), put some blue reflected light on the clothing, tried to give the background a little more depth, and a few other minor adjustments. What do you think?

Oh, and by the way, yeah, this was all done in Photoshop. :3 This forum has finally taught me how to use it properly; I feel like an idiot for not realizing how useful the paintbrush tool could be...



I'll try to sharpen it up a little more tomorrow; it's still a little fuzzy in places...

Thanks again for all the help!

-Julie

[LoTekK]

oooh, much better, methinks! i love it! gorgeous...
methinks you'll go far with this new style, julie...

[misssakura]

Hey Julie! Nice to see you try some new styles, I think most of the points have been said, although there are some things about the legs that bother me...I can't put my finger on it right now..

Nice concept too!

[Frost]

Lovely colors and design(s). Nice work! The pectorals and where they meet the shoulders needs a little work, but I love the image. The other works on your site are also very nice.

[ January 05, 2002: Message edited by: Frost ]

[JLunar]

hehehe.. waves *go julie!* flag

I like the way you've done the gold inlay alot. Also, like the streams of light. very cool.

[ January 05, 2002: Message edited by: JLunar ]

[-HoodZ-]

thats a nice start....must be hard to switch styles...i still have your tutorials bookmarked