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Anjin3515
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Member #
Joined: 24 Dec 2001
Posts: 43
Location: Chicago

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2001 1:47 am     Reply with quote
Hello. Just found this board and thought I would introduce myself
Here is something I did awhile back..comments and crits most welcome...thanks



[ December 24, 2001: Message edited by: Anjin3515 ]
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CyberArtist
member


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Joined: 04 Nov 1999
Posts: 284
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2001 3:34 am     Reply with quote
The cloth around her knee looks more like water, enveloping the knee rather than the knee pushing in to it. This is probably mostly due to it's sketchy nature vs. the sharper style that's used in most of the rest of the well lit areas.

In the same area, the left elbow doesn't appear to be touching the cloth at all, though the folds in the cloth look like the intent was for it to be.

The shadow on the back wall is wrong as well. The brightest light in the scene appears to be the candle, as such, the shadow should be traced from the candle's flame. Instead it appears to be coming from the right just off camera (possibly just to the right shoulder of the viewer). It might be an interesting idea to make the shadow on the wall bare the resemblance of a shadow from her finger and hand, and move the hand and flame in to a possition that this would be conceivable.

Her abdomen (specifically her waist and butt) look too thin. It almost appears that she only has one cheek. On close inspection, a line can be seen on the rump that I assume is an intensional show of where the crease is for that area, but the way the back is rendered it doesn't come across. As bad as this is about to sound, I have to say it; greater separation of the cheeks would help as well.

In case none of that made sense, here's my quick hack of the back to accentuate the pose and form and make her less one-cheeked.



Can you tell I'm a lover of a good butt? *cough* Changing the shadow I'll leave to you to figure out.

Out of curiosity, is this image intended to be one of sexual desire (the whole dripping hot wax thing) or of a more innocent nature? I assume the fore presumption due to the red lips, fingernail paint and pronounced eyelashes. If so, I'd suggest spreading the back legs some more. Enough that the foreground knee is lower in the frame than the left elbow, or at least at the same level. This will give the image a more sexual nature with out actually making it overt. I'm guessing that the hidding the breasts was partially intensional as well in an effort to keep the image from becoming more pornography than art, though I think showing the breast would actually go further towards the innocent angle, but I'm rambling now. So I'll stop, and go back to working on my stuff.

Thank you, drive through please.

Oh yeah, and I like it.
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Quasar
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Joined: 01 Oct 2001
Posts: 355

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2001 3:41 am     Reply with quote
Uhh huh huh huh..ya ya...fire...fire..
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Jezebel
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Joined: 02 Nov 2000
Posts: 1940
Location: Mesquite, TX, US

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2001 3:52 am     Reply with quote
I recognize you from Shane Glines forum... I always thought this image was really beautiful too.

Welcome aboard
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Anjin3515
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Joined: 24 Dec 2001
Posts: 43
Location: Chicago

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2001 9:13 am     Reply with quote
CyberArtist: Thank you for the wonderful crit.It was very helpful
The intention was more of the innocent angle,tinged with a bit of sexuality.I wanted a warm,calm picture juxtaposed with the sexual nature of a nude and the sexual tones of "playing with fire".
Again thanks for the crits....oh and I just flat out suck at painting cloth

Jezebel: Yes I am at Shane's place all the time...thanks for the compliment

[ December 24, 2001: Message edited by: Anjin3515 ]
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