[exo13]

Alright, I feel guilty for this. You may remember a half done version of this I posted awhile back. I got tons of great tips too from forum members. But since I was working on another project, I didn't really have time to work on it. When I fanally did get around to it, the forum went down. But it's back now (Thanks Dhabih) and here it is.

Tell me what you think. I'm trying to do something right now with the rock formation wall in the background. I needs a little cleaning up too. At first though, I thought that the dunes looked too blury and sloppy but I decided to wait on changing them because they also gave the image sort of a misty, alien look. What do you think.

As always, don't hesitate to give whatever crits or comments or ask any questions you may have. Thanks.


[ July 12, 2001: Message edited by: exo13 ]

[mjmcchesney]

Hmm. I like it, although yes, there are improvements that can be made. Overall, with such an intense event as this (the worm finally breaking out after the thumpers), you'll want to give a dramatic perspective. You've chosen correctly to have the worm near the foreground, but I think it would actually serve better to have the worm right by the cam to show the size of the beast. The sand also (with the atmosphere and the sunlight) would be more like the sky, as the light would reflect off the atmosphere/clouds back onto the sand. Thus, basically everything would have more of a reddish, hazy hue.

The rocky hills/mountains in the background would also be affected much more by the ozone (Arakkis has a red hue from the spice/etc) - it would basically be atmospheric interference but with a red hue instead of blue. Also, the edges would be sharper on the rocks, yet still blend in with the horizon in different areas. This will allow you to show protrusions and depth in them. Also, if you move the angle closer to the sand (almost touching it), you can get a much better view of the action.

I illustrated a few of my points in the following (I hope you don't mind), but did more of a desert scene with approximately the same angle you have. [I wrote this crit after doing the doodle thing] Please excuse the quality - I haven't painted digitally in such a long time.

[exo13]

That's a great painting. The lighting is way more consistant on yours too. I do think though, that it would be hard for me to alter the composition of my image as much as you are suggesting. I will keep that in mind for my next one though.

Here's a shot of the first version of this image. It shows what I did based on the tips of the forum goers here. Thanks, to all that helped.


Another thing. I really could use feedback. To see this post drop of the frontpage is less than 12 hours is a little disappointing. Anyone, feel free to comment. I don't care if it's good or bad, as long as it's there. Thanks.

[sCriBBler aka Jito]

good work on the exploding sand

[Brain]

Shadow for the sandworm, and the worm looks a little flat. Highlight the edges of it some.

[Eric Pommer]

Hmm..I have a few crits. The worm definitely needs a shadow, as someone else said. In terms of composition, what is the focus of the painting? If that tiny figure in the background is important, than he should be closer to the viewer. If he's not, then I'd get rid of him entirely.
I think in terms of perspective, you need to do something to the sand. There really isn't any identifiable progression from foreground to middleground. I would suggest including identifiable dunes or the like to break it up.
The background mountains are too dark, IMO, and the ridge doesn't look believable as mountains...too wavy. The sky behind the mountains seems to get lighter as you get higher...my intuition (without looking at a reference) tells me it should be the other way around.
On the plus side, the sense of action is quite good--there is a definite impression of motion from the worm and the explosion of sand.

Just to clarify about the mountains...if the edges were that smooth, then the overall silhouette would be more level. Otherwise the edges should be rougher and sharper.

And one other thing compositionally...having the worm's head disappear into the mountains takes away from the drama a bit. It might be more interesting to have his head poke above them, or at least separate the two with a highlight on the worm.

[ July 14, 2001: Message edited by: Eric Pommer ]