[Vgta]

Why am I posting this here I don't know, but I need some type of relief.
I found out early this week that the girl I am in love with is HIV positive. Luckily for me we never had any sort of physical contact so in that regard I now that I will be okay, I just need to know how do to deal with the loss. She is still alive but distant and now she is gone to be with her family and deal with everything in her own way. I'm trying to be strong for her but I'm having a difficult time dealing with this on my own.

[edraket]

Are you going to keep seeing her when she gets back?

I think thats what I would do. But I can definately see how someone could consider severing contact with her at this point. Of course I don't know the whole story.

Just remember she can still be a part of your life and you of hers. If you let each other.
You descibed it as a loss. But it doesn't have to be. Apart from the fact that she probably still has quite a stretch of life in front of her you can still be an important part of each others lives.
Situations like this often either break a relationship or make it incredibly intense. If you are willing to go for that it will be very rewarding and worth the pain.
Trying to cope with things like this often leads people to a spiritual solution. (bad word) I don't know if you are into any of that and I certainly am not going to be the missionary here. But that could be something to think about.

Ok well.. I don't know if any of this helped. But the only other appraoch that I can think of right now would be...Hang in there!

I hope things work out for you.

eddy

[Vgta]

Eddy,
thank you. Right now I don't know if she will ever come back. She wants to be with her family which is understandable and we have an incredible bond and friendship that will last forever. She needs sometime to figure things out and basically talk to her ex whom is the one that got her infected. The world is just a mess right now and more so for her than for me. I do agree that you do find a closer spiritual connection during these times, it is just hard to deal with something like this. Our plans as they were, will be no more but I can have some rest knowing that our friendship will always be there.
Thanks again.

[FireFry]

Try to not treat her differently now that you know that she is HIV positive. Easier said than done but it would be better for her in the long run because of this difficult time. Also the whole HIV/Aids academic is not like it was 10 years ago. Back then when someone found out they were HIV positive it was like a death sentence to them. Today there are better drugs out on the market and some have been able to go on with their lives in some degree. I don’t think they are too expensive but I know they are not cheap – there were problems in Africa about the availability/cost of the drugs.

Don’t think I’m trying to downplay the issue, I’m just trying to help. There was a news report on my local station about HIV/AIDS not too long ago so I though this might be helpful.

All in all, be supportive and don’t let what’s happened get the best of either of you.

Best Wishes,
Matt

[maceface]

hey vgta...just be there for her and comfort her...cuz i assure you that she has to be pretty depressed and hurt having to go through this all...help her out and comfort her.

[Awetopsy]

yeah I agree with the above posts.. continue to be her freind. Keep respecting her. Although you know that your physical contact can never be now, imagine how she feels.

She will proboably love you more if you keep treating her like a human being. As weird as this sounds, sex isnt the only part of love. (you probably knew that anyway)

The bright side is this will help you to know just how madly in love with her you really were. You could theoretically have teh absolute best freindship with her, ever, and be very happy. She's definately gonna need it.

anyways hope my remblings dont offend, as they are meant as help and understanding.

-good luck man.