[Socar MYLES]

I am posting this in a few places, hoping that some of the people responsible for the horrible treatment I've been getting might see it. Sorry to whine, but....

Well, today has been very annoying. I don't think I've ever been insulted so many times in the space of twenty-four hours. My art has been described as 'grotesque', 'not innovative', 'really pathetic', and 'unoriginal'. I was advised: 'Take my advice, don't quit your day job', and 'Don't bother, there are so many people out there doing the same thing you do but better', and 'Get your own style and stop trying to be like Stephanie Law'. (What?)

And that's just the worst of the rude remarks about my art. I was informed via e-mail that I should take all my work down from digitalart.org, because 'me and all my friends are going to keep rating down every one of your pictures till you leave'. The funny thing is, I was going to leave anyway, since the site isn't really doing anything for me. But now I have to stay, or I'll be letting them 'win', in effect.

None of that really makes any difference to me, though. It's the other category of insults that's got right up my nose. I got a lovely comment on my elfwood page ( http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/loth/s/o/socar2/ ), from someone who's been haunting my Elfwood galleries and making rude comments from time to time for about half a year now. It was pretty illiterate, but the gist was that I 'totally suck' as a person. I got an e-mail saying that I'm a coward with no artistic integrity because I 'gave in to pressure' and removed this image: www.gorblimey.com/art/kcterror.jpg ...from my Elfwood gallery. (In fact, I took it down because it was OLD, not because of all the rude comments it generated. If it weren't for the fifty-picture limit, I'd have left it up forever, just to annoy my detractors.) Yet another rude e-mail suggested that I trace all my images directly from photographs. Included in that e-mail was a photograph of a tree which resembles one in a picture I drew...or, so the person said. I can't figure out which picture it's supposed to resemble.

More depressingly still, five people sent me an identical e-mail, obviously working in concert. All it said was...well, I'm not getting it out of my trash to quote it directly, but the message was pretty simple: I'm a horrible person whose self-satisfied and condescending attitude is not welcome on the Internet. Yes...the WHOLE internet, apparently. I wasn't aware I HAD that sort of attitude.

Worst of all, I even received a very vague, very threatening e-mail, which frightened me to the extent that I reported it to [email protected] ... whose bot responded that it had been sent from some sort of fake account, so they can't do anything. Gee. Thanks. This particular e-mail suggested that I should 'watch it' if and when I choose to leave my home, and, on another note, that I should 'get a life'. Evidently written by a REAL mental giant.

I was out almost all day today, at school, and I got home to find all this garbage in my mailbox. At first, I assumed it must just be one person doing it all. Maybe it is. But not all the e-mails originated in the same country, so it probably isn't.

This is all very depressing. I don't consider myself a horrible person, or even mildly bad. Not to be egotistical, but I would say that I'm really quite nice most of the time. I try to help my friends whenever I can...financially, career-wise, however necessary. I try to behave honourably, and treat other people with the dignity I would like to be treated with myself. I'm not perfect...I'm not sociable or outgoing, and my views may not coincide with everyone's, but I am not disrespectful, and I don't try to force my opinion on anyone. I just don't understand why I'm being treated this way. I'm seriously considering leaving my art on Epilogue and Gorblimey, and nowhere else on the Net.

Oh, lovely. While I've been writing this post, another hate mail has arrived, and a little note to tell me that the picture I drew last night--which I specifically begged people NOT to borrow for any reason, so that the lady in the picture won't see it by accident before Christmas--has already been taken for use in a role-playing chat.

So, here's a little message for everyone who's choosing to treat me and my work with such disrespect, if any of you frequent this forum: Thank you so much for treating me in a way that I wouldn't even consider acceptable in a jail. Thank you for choosing to write things obviously calculated to hurt, offend, and, in one case, frighten. Thank you for your respect of my intellectual property, and for honouring my one simple request with regards to my work. I would never speak to anyone the way you have spoken to me today, or show such blatant disregard for what effect my words or actions might have on someone else.

I just can't understand why anyone would go out of their way to denigrate and insult a total stranger. Yeah, so I'm not a famous artist, not a big name. So my work isn't the most brilliant thing under the sun. So my subject matter is unpopular. I got into art because it was the only thing in the world which made me happy. When I left my day-job to become a full-time professional, I was very happy about that, too. But the more recognition I get, the more people seem to hate me. That does not make me happy.

So if this continues--the threats (this hasn't been the first!), the hate-mail, the plagiarism--my art will no longer be available--not only to those who hate me, but also to those who enjoy my work, who love both art and rats as much as I do, and who get genuine pleasure from seeing my humble efforts. (And, yes, I really do mean 'humble'. I have no delusions as to my own status or ability. I really just want to enjoy the process of drawing.) My art will no longer be widely available on the Internet. No more Deviant Art. No more Renderosity. No more Elfwood, Absolute Arts, Fantasya, or Sijun. No more forum art--just critiques from me. And the images which DO remain, on Gorblimey and Epilogue, will be no more than 400 pixels high, with big, ugly copyright notices stamped over them. There won't be any more cut-rate prints on ebay. There won't be any more half-price commissions for friends. No previews of upcoming projects; no notices of where my work's going to be published and where it can be bought. And there won't be any more permissions granted to use my images for ANY purpose on ANY site.

I have absolutely HAD IT with people. An image of mine with Jesus photoshopped into it is making the rounds on the Net, apparently. People are treating me as if I'd gone out of my way to do something to annoy them personally. I am losing patience, and losing faith in the essential decency of most people...very fast. I have, up until now, gone out of my way to share my art with as many people as wanted to see it. I've never put ugly copyright signs on it, never priced it out of most people's range, and never turned down someone who asked me for help. But all that CAN change, and WILL change, if this sort of harrassment continues. I am NOT impressed.

Sorry about the rant, people. I am...very, very angry.... No, not even angry. Sad. Disheartened. I just can't understand why some people are behaving the way they are, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it end.

[sacrelicious]

I'm sorry, Socar. I don't know if anything I say will make you feel better, but I'm behind you 100%. Bon chance, cherie.

[c]

everyone likes being a critic. i imagine the majority of people who trash you don't come from a very deep artistic background. they don't know what it's like to draw or paint, and fail, and share, and open yourself up to the world in away that is almost unlike anything else.

there's this student in one of my classes who obviously has a hard time with drawing. the self-doubt and frustration and insecurity are so visibly written across his face. one night he draws particularly poorly, and this other girl looks at it and busts out laughing. i couldn't believe it! as if her work were any better! a few minutes later, the guys packs up his supplies and leaves early.

now, if any of your detractors experienced this kind of thing, would they do what they do? i would hope not.

a big problem with these forums and comment-based galleries is that people reply with a mindset distinctly far from where they should be. if you are commenting on somebodys hard work, you should behave as if he's a close friend. a few compliments, a few suggestions, a firm but yielding overall opinion, but never condescension.

so who comments with this frame of mind? not many. i know i certainly don't most of the time. so because of that you just gotta take it in stride, ignore the blatantly negative comments, take comfort in the fact that they are projections of their owner's own insecurities, and that they should be pitied more than anything else.

you can't do anything about these kinds of people really besides ignore them, hope they grow up someday, and move right along.

[egerie]

Best I can offer is a cyber-hug..

I wonder what other artists from around here who get as much attention as you do would have to say about this. For sure there must be horror tales. Unfortunately.

*hug* cheer up !

"L'enfer, c'est les autres." -Jean-Paul Sartre

[Ahcri]

I'm sorry to hear that. I guess people find it more comfortable to send hatemail and rude comments across the internet rather than in person, because they don't understand art. I know it's hard, but imagine them as cockroaches. Your artworks has always impressed me.

[Poprocksz]

we all love you Socar.
Don't fret on such stupid things.
ART is ART and nothing more.
Anyone who insults another artist because
of these things
is very jealous or insecure.

I love your pics.
And I hope you see that you are
a very wonderful artist.

I even have a pic you did as a desktop right now
(don't be mad)

[Shiro_tengu]

I really cant understand the behaviour of some people. No matter where you go you always have dickheads around. On the internet you have so many assholes and idiots. The best I can offer is that you simply ignore these idiots. Be careful of your privacy, but understand this; I looked at your site and you have impressive stuff. If you don't like what someone is saying - well or you are getting flamed - try to sreen them out.

All the people in these forums who are decent will treat you properly. All the wankers like to be wankers in here cause they can't get smacked in the head for their comments. Personally - it doesnt take long for the decent folk to route out the assholes and ignore them. I am sorry for what has happened to you but dont loose heart. You probably got harrassed by unskilled poorly mannered pricks with nothing better to do. I personally like your stuff and hope you remain onboard.

[nil900]

Hi socar, it's a sad sad world we're living in sometimes. There are to many people who just get their fun and strength from hurting other people. Looks like you are the next victim chosen by some ill minds. But think about the only reason there would be to choose you. Looks like you are a kind person so your behavior is not responsible for this. Your art is probably the point why you were chosen because it's not usual art as you've been told. Your art is one of the most unique I've seen at sijun, epiloque,... . Maybe there are some idiots who just don't like your style because of the rats.
Anyway, maybe you will never find out why they are doing this but you should keep in mind that there are maybe three people who are writing these mails but there are hundrets of people who really like the things you're doing and get excited everytime there is a post with a new pic of you socar. So pleeeease don't do what these idiots want you to do, don't stop posting artwork. Do not allow them to get controll of your life. Be stronger than them, fight for the things you love to do, try to ignore these mails. They probably just waited for a post like this one to see that they hit their target. Now show them that they won't stop you then they'll probably get bored after a while and stop this stupid mails.
And again: please DON'T STOP posting your artwork!!!
Good luck
Nils

Hope you understood what I wanted to say, I'm sorry for my bad English.

[Svanur]

Like one rock band said, back here in Iceland, "People are idiots" and always will be. People rarely think about the feelings of others and actually think they are sometimes better than others.

Take my advice, ignore them. If that isn't possible then you could try to track the e-mail somehow, especially if the e-mail get harsher or even possibly threatening.

Just keep on doing what you like. You are a very talented artist and your pictures are imaginative and fun to look at and it would be a sad thing to lose your presence here on the forum and the web.

[gekitsu]

i don't understand people like that...
i think they just have problems with their own things and feel better when flaming somebody...

i have to say, i still like your pictures and i still like the way you appear as a person in the forums.
don't get hurt by people that much... most people out there are idiots. it's sad but most of the time it's true

i hug you for painting your wonderful pictures and i hug you for being a nice person (as far i can say that from here).

put you head up and just ignore those people. dou you think they are worth the efford of being angry about them?
i don#t think so and that's why most of the people around me think that i am a perverted psycho... who cares? i know that there also some people out there who like me and like what i do. i look at those and not at the people who flame me.

*hug*

raphael

[horstenpeter]

Just want to confirm everything that has been said here. Don't get detracted by those people. Both your artwork and you yourself are great. I am really thankful for all the information you share, be it here on sijun, on gorblimey or in your squonky forums. You are sharing even more than most others, information that I couldn't have gotten without your sharing it.
Our styles in art may differ, but I admire the skill your artwork shows.
Don't take these people seriously.
Just be assured that for each one of these fuckheads there is a thousand people that admire you and your artwork.

A note on your showing of the portrait here on sijun. I thought the moment that I read that it's supposed to be hidden until christmas that something is bound to go wrong. I am grateful that you showed it to us, because it's such a beautiful piece, but as past events have shown, sijun is frequented not only by lovers of digital art. I don't want to critic you, especially not now. Just take it as an advice from someone who's had a share of problems with internet fuckheads as well (albeit not that big a share).

I'm sorry that something like this happened. But please don't give up because of these few stupid people.

[starfish]

dear Socar,

your art is great, don't let anyone try to
fool you into thinking otherwise.

one of the reasons why some people are having
such a hard time coping with your pictures
is the fact that your images are full of
feelings and sometimes people can't accept
that they have been "moved" by a "mere painting".

it's easy for me to say this, but, try not
to take offense from small minded people
like that. just ignore them.

and if anyone would start to threaten you in
any way let me know so we can solve it.

-under the sea crew

[ October 24, 2001: Message edited by: starfish ]

[Lunatique]

Socar- I'm sorry to hear about all the bullshit you had to deal with. You know that we(you know who we are)love you, and we can't understand why these things happen.

I'm wondering why this happens to some people, but not to others? I doubt every prolific artist on the internet gets harrassed, and why is that? Could it be because certain kinds of personality attract animosity and jealousy?

Anyways, you know I dig your furry claws, and you have my support. To hell with those cowards. Don't let them win. Only do what you say you will do if you no longer enjoy posting you art due to the BS they put you through, otherwise, keep being yourself and give them the middle finger.

[Awetopsy]

Socar, I once had one of my parents closest freinds tell me that I would never make it as an artist, and she was a lady I still respect to this day. But I became an artist anyway, and I enjoy what I do.

Its terrible to hear that some people have taken a stand against you, but I think you are a very talented painter and nobody should be able to take away what you have pretty much freely given to the rest of us.

Dont be disheartened, those people just dont have enough to do in the day, so they make themselves feel better by putting others down.

I'd just like to encourage you to stand up strong in the middle of all this and keep on putting out your art, because those idiots will just get bored and leave eventually.

So chear up. You've got freinds here and Im sure you have a nice close-knit group of friends around you.

I, for one, wouldnt want you to stop posting.

[digiGen]

For what it's worth, I'm on your side.

Pay no attention to the maggots of the web. Mingle with those who enjoy art just as much as you do, the rest will fall by the wayside anyway. Suffocated by their own foul personalities.

Keep up the good work!

[Lorentz]

I've been lurking here for over a year and I've been lurking on fgfx's since it started and I have always enjoyed your work. People on the net seem to think its ok to be an asshole when you dont have to face the person. They are cowards thats it.

[Muzman]

Bizzare.
Frankly, if I was to speculate wildly for a moment, I'd say it's love or some similar barely-teen obsession. This is the internet equivalent of hair pulling in class (the gang of idiots working together anyway. The others I dunno. Could be one or all of them upping the ante).
I hope you forwarded that mail to Gleibster. I doubt he'd appreciate that sort of thing being done to his site or his users.
Anyway, stick around. Without your stuff it's all landscapes and buxom girls with guns

[Chris]

I don't get it...are you doing art for you or for other people? Sounds like you are doing it for other people, if they get to you that much.

If I enjoy doing something, I don't care of the critz I get from others, I only care how it made me feel and if it made me feel good, then I'll do it again, but if I didn't enjoy it, then I won't do it again, EVEN if everyone else thought it was the greatest thing in the world.

You only have one life...don't waste it on something you don't enjoy doing.

[Akolyte]

Why let rampant internet welfare hoes let you down? You are above them. Kick their teeth in. Unleash the rat horde! ;p

[J Bradford]

There are a plethora of great artist who never follow some original tradition, I don't think that is the problem here. You're dealing with people who are a mix of 2 things; 1) They acknowledge that you're artork is original, and 2) They are jeleous, which would equal an aggression to blame you for something that not only they, but you know is not true.

It's quite sad how people can saw such nasty remarks because they know the glass of their monitor protects them.

[Steelwind]

Your work is beauty. Those that hate it hate it for silly reasons, ie it's the rats they don't like. Ignore them, you can't please everyone all of the time; just please yourself as much as possible.

They aren't worth your time.

Steelwind

[Andromeda]

Kick their teeth in Socar.

You dont even know me, but ive been around this forum for some time now. And i love your work.
I dont have much posts, cos im more of a lurker.

But im backing you up .. even if its just in spirit, cos im in Singapore.

No matter what anyone says, your works still kick ass

[Pat]

Socar, posting this was a big mistake.

I'll bet none of this would be happening if people didn't know you were a woman. Didn't Enayla have this exact same problem five months ago?

I know it shouldn't matter, but it does. This will sound sexist, and it's not meant that way because I have the highest regard for you and your work, but you've benefited from people knowing you're a woman. Women participating in largely male-dominated fields are high profile. You're receiving a lion's share of attention --so it only follows that you're print sales and work offers are high. You're talented and disciplined. Your work shows focus and development. What's there not to be jealous about? However, I think it would be a mistake on your part to assume that people are responding to your work solely due to your talent.

Taken as a whole, you're very emasculating to certain men out there. That a few trolls respond to this with threatening emails, etc. shouldn't be too much of a surprise; this is the internet after all. Face it, the only way you're going to escape this attention is to remove yourself from the field. If you feel your safety or peace of mind is not worth publicly posting your work and participating in the forums, so be it. Who's going to argue with that?

However, if these people are just petty net-ruffians, by showing that you're vulenerable to these kinds of attacks, you're only encouraging them. I understand you're outrage and even your need to express it, but I read somewhere that stalkers consider _any_ response (even outrage and rejection) a continuation or acknowledgement of a relationship. It's the same thing here... the more you protest the harder they'll try. And Socar, you're particularly verbose; your frustration and anguish are clearly detectable in your post... and this is like the smell of blood to a hungry animal.

I also suspect that if you'd lost faith in the essential decency of people you wouldn't have posted in the first place. Did you think, at any time, there would be nothing but a stream of positive affirmations from us? In your heart of hearts you know this is just the work of a few rotten apples... and that most of us a respectful and decent. There's no need to threaten removal or art, etc. One, it hurts us because we, as a community, are diminished if you are not here. Secondly, you've always got the option to do that, voiced or not. Lastly, the people orchestrating this net-terrorism on you want you gone. By outlining your response to continued harrassment you're providing them a plan of action AND a direct roadmap to their goal.

I think, ultimately, you're going to have to accept a certain amount of this irritation as a by-product of your success. I think the only thing we can learn from this is to keep a good grasp on the perspective of the issue. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

-Pat

[Socar MYLES]

Actually, Pat, I posted this for exactly the reason I said I did--as an appeal to those who are threatening and insulting me, in the hopes that they will stop. I was pretty sure that there would be at least one or two people like you, who would make comments like the one you have.

In point of fact, being a woman has done nothing for my career at all. Working my ass off, spending lots of time and money on advertising and promotion, on the other hand, has done a lot for me. Apart from on the forums, people don't seem to know whether I'm a man or a woman. Most of my e-mails seem to assume I'm male. It's sheer ignorance to suggest that anyone has hired me based on gender. I get more respect from people who think I'm a man. Most of my employers have hired me without knowing which gender I was...and were quite surprised to find out I'm not male.

The reason I'm so annoyed, however, is that I get this kind of crap all the time. I am not so much 'threatening' to remove my art as saying that might be my only recourse. The hate-mail is one thing--it really has only got to me so much today because of the one joker who actually threatened me. But the plagiarism is a bigger problem, and I just don't know how else to get THAT to stop, other than taking down my art and/or putting copyright notices all over it.

[ October 24, 2001: Message edited by: Socar MYLES ]

[Blitz]

Being a guy or girl should not matter.

Its so funny that there are compleat morons out there that think of women less and dont think they should be drawing..

What the hell does it matter,,,,its the final image..the feeling..the thought.. the imagination put behind a picture that makes it so great.

It would be like looking at a group of people and saying...
“OH...they are definitely the better artist.”
“WHY?”
“Because look at how they stand up when they urinate.”

I know thats a bit crude...but thats basically it.

Sexism is for the stupid, as is racism.

If people would take the time to get to know someone Like Socar or Enayla like I have, they would see how great they are. How their imagination works...how they think. Its a beautiful thing.

And not base anything on what gender they are.

Sorry...thats just my rant on Sexism..I hate it.

[starfish]

Socar,

Can you copy paste what the one threatening
you wrote?

[J Bradford]

Socar: Letting verbal bashing threaten the spread of you're art is wrong. I seriously suggest rethinking the situation you are in. It is not as bad as you think, you are going to come into contact with some bumps here and there. Just be strong, you are the with the deck of cards. Everyone here has showed positive support, you should put that into consideration; there are always going to be a few bad apples. The e-mails/threats you get could very well be from the same person or a small group of people posing as a larger audience.

[Tiger Eaten]

Socar MYLES: A word of caution. If I were out to get you then I can imagine that nothing would quite make my day like seeing such a big post as this one. This is a confirmation that they have gotten under your skin and will only fuel their desire to bother you. Expose your art but keep your feelings under wrap.

When you put yourself out there, on display, you are letting the public into your life. You want and enjoy praise as we all do and this is the price that one must pay for such attention. There are men and women that could have told you the same thing 500 years ago. At least we no longer burn people at the stake...a small blessing.

You should take joy in the fact that your work is not being ignored. I believe one of the harshest cards that life can deal out is indifference. A reply good OR bad, tells me that something in my work has been worthy of someone elses time and attention. I enjoy that either way.

If I recieve a reply that is highly critical or rude, the very first place I go is to the seach function. I will proceed to read every other post made by that individual. If they have a homepage, I will examine it in detail and see where their interests and talents reside, see what kind of friends they link to, what games they play. More often than not my mood will be considerably brightened by the end of my research. If the person that has insulted my work ends up having nothing in common with me and posseses no work that I respect or envy then.........what are they to me? I mentioned indifference as being one of the worst things in life, well....it is a double edged sword that can sometimes work in your favor as well.

I ALWAYS care what people say about me, praise brings me up and insults bring me down. I am a simple creature for that. But how long the effects of those comments hang over me is something that I DO have a degree of power over.

Don't threaten to leave, you know in your own heart that you would never give them the satisfaction. Have you really come all this way just to end it like this......?

[Malachi Maloney]

I for one feel I can understand at least a portion of your pain. I've been being hated on for a month or so now fairly heavily by some little shit head kids. They claim my art is traced, they claim I couldn't do what I do without the assistance of technology. At first I got incredibly pissed and tried to defend myself against their attacks. But after a while that just got old. I understand exactly how you feel. All I can tell you is to keep painting. Keep doing what makes you happy. You know I love your art, I've told you so many times.
Please don't give up Socar. Don't let these shit heads win. Don't let them take the fun out of painting for you.
I really hope this harassment stops soon. You don't deserve it.

Take it easy,
MDM (CT2001)

[FireFry]

There will always be assholes out there (real life, internet, whatever) just as there is good people who respect you for _who you are_. Yin-Yang on life

Your very talented as an artist and I have really enjoyed all your pieces that you've posted on Sijun. I'd hate to see you give that up just because a few ingrates decide to give you a shit. They're just pests and should be ignored.

I'm not really one for the gender stereotype myself Some people have insecurities over others who are different from themselves.

Keep showing us your art! Don't let it end like this!