[sacrelicious]

Channel Islands as viewed from Goleta, CA.



I had just about convinced myself that working with a mouse is next to impossible (especially when trying to get that "painterly" feel). Then I did this on impulse tonight. Much more "painterly" than previous work, although this is really just an elaborate sketch (~ 45 min.). I'd have gone into more detail, but I lost light pretty fast. I feel much better about my mouse now, and learned some neat tricks, but I think I'll still be getting a Graphire soon. :P Crits, ideas, let me know.

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Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

[Light]

Not bad. Hmm, maybe I should start charging for crits?

Well.. you need to look at the picture as a whole. The trees are sorta spread about (maybe this is how they really are) but it doesnt make a great picture.

Why not try to group them together?

Next.. you have a non interesting are for the lake. Maybe make a deeper gradient. Looks like the sun is setting so a more dramatic fx would be appreciated.

Also on the trees they look to be make in a black or dark green. It doesnt really compliment the colors well -- why not try using a warm color for the shadows.

You could also try to indicate more perspective.

Ok, anyway even so this is a nice picture. It does tend to convey a mood.

[Skeezer]

Hmmm....

uh huh...

okay....

Looks very nice, wish the view out my window looked like that

I understand it's just a sketch, so I'll just critique on the feel. It looks very much like a japanese illustration, very oriental, but also obviously California.

very cool mood, based on this idea I'd like to see a finished piece.

-Skeez

btw, how was that?

[the_monkey]

mmm smog....

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Maho: the online Comic

tradgedy is when i cut my finger.
comedy is when i fall down a manhole and die.

[jasonN]

Beautiful
I love the colours


-Jason

[sacrelicious]

Hey everybody, thanks a mil for the suggestions. My original idea was just to lay everything out fairly quickly, get a complete picture before the sun was gone... but now I want to work on it more. I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow.

Light- I agree about the trees being pretty boring, I lost light and kind of threw them in as an afterthought. They're more interesting in reality, but I can't see them now. Work for tomorrow...

Skeez- I tried to duplicate the way it feels to just look out your window and see that every day. I hope, if I do work on it more, that I can keep that mood.

the_monkey- I'm in the Santa Barbara area for school, and the air is surprisingly clean. But we have offshore oil rigs, I'm sure that helps make the sunsets so spectacular.

Jason- Thanks!

I guess I'll take another stab tomorrow. In the meantime, does anybody else have any ideas? What's good, what needs work, lighting, composition, etc... let me know.

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Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

[TheNexx]

Hey I go to SBCC!!! Do you?

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Dennis Sedov

[sacrelicious]

Jeez, my posts sink like a stone.

Hey Dennis- I'm a freshman Dramatic Arts major at UCSB, living over in FT (9 South baby!).

Everybody else- I already hate this painting. I worked more on it today, and it looks a little better, but I really have no idea what to do. I just don't know how to improve it (that's not to say that it doesn't need improvement, because it does). Plus, today was a little hazy so it's hard to see the water, and impossible to see the islands. Boring sunset too. So, if anybody has any ideas, or would like to do a paintover, that would be great. I really want to know what you all think. Thanks in advance.

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Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

[sheriftariq]

Hi Sacrelicious,
Don't worry if you don't get a lot of replies to your posts. I've been lurking around the forums for some time now, but I have been afraid of offering any critiques for fear of giving the "wrong information".

I love your piece. It's amazing that you did that not from a photograph, but by watching the sunset outside your window. And with a mouse, of all things!

I find the picture to be very serene, very beautiful. It kinda reminds me of my home, somewhere on the other side of the world. I got kind of homesick looking at your pic .

My suggestion would be to leave the painting alone for now. Step away from it, let it be for a few weeks. Then, go back to it. You'll have a whole different perspective on the picture, and a whole lot of ideas on how to make it even better.

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Sherif Tariq
Member: Neuro Evolutionary Rostral Developers Society (N.E.R.D.S.)

[A.Buttle]

I know lots of people that go to UCSB.

Go California! Oi!

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Joe Dillingham
[email protected]

[This message has been edited by your mutha (edited April 15, 197-deuce).]

[Light]

I tried doing a paint over. I got some good ideas..

I think you are making the following mistakes:

1. Trying to draw what you see
2. Trying to see what does not exist
3. Not really drawing what you see

[Light]

Well.. I'll continue giving crits. I dont really know what good this does. Maybe if you want me to give a crit you can email me or something.

Its not easy to give good crits and I end up saying the same things over and over.

People are at different stages in their art lives and there is no point to try to get someone to another stage when they are not ready for it.

But.. here goes

1. As I said try to visualize the picture in just shapes. RIght now its too broken up. The trees are spaced rather evenly. They dont add a lot to the picture. The sillohetes of the trees FEEL ragged but the scene feels PEACEFUl. Smooth lines would look better.

2. The colors are just not my style but beyond that. It would look better to have more contrast in the colors. Also try to use the reflected light to better use. IE more red in lake! Also you painted the trees green. Id ont think this compliments it very well. Try painting very dark using grey, brown, blue, and red. See what the differences it makes.

Perspective. The mountain has a hint of shading but could probably be used to better extent. You might also use more of the fog or use it better.

So in other words to make this pic better. Start by reforming the shore line to look more interesting. Try to bunch trees together and give more side more weight then the other.

Next. Repaint the lake to use more reds -- try using a color combination that already works in another picture. Next when paitnign the mountains use the same color combination try to give the mountain a light side and dark side.


Im not going to even go into how to make the clouds better but might help if they were more transparent.

Sorry if this crit is harsh. I'm just tired and there are a TON of things that could make this picture better even though it is nice as it is. Best to call this one finished and paint another one.

Try using a frame or view finder. I'm sure there are tons of interesting views out the sound from your window. Dont try to draw what you see. Its too complicated to put down in one step. Try to simplfy it and re-intreprt it in your own way.

[sacrelicious]

Sherif- Thanks for the kind words... I'm glad I could take you home for a little while.

Light- I can't thank you enough for your input. You're right on with a lot of your crits. I think I just lack the formal training/education to make the most of your advice. For a while art was my thing, a definite career possibility, but my last two years of high school I had a terrible teacher. Since then, I think I've lost more than I've learned.

I'm just going to post what I've got now and call it done.



I'd still like to know what everybody thinks, though. Thanks to all.

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Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

[This message has been edited by sacrelicious (edited February 07, 2001).]

[Light]

I like the second one better. A lot of improvements. Funny thing is that it looks like it was painted at 2 different times of day.

[Light]

I mean.. it looks like the same scene being painted right before the sun goes down in first one and right after in second. =) Now just paint in the morning! =)

[sacrelicious]

Thanks again for all your input, Light! You're right, I changed the time of day to a little later on. I also moved the treeline vertically to more closely match reality. I really like the feeling of this version. I'm working on a daytime one that I'll probably put in the WIP forum soon. Adios.

[beekay-]

personally ... i didn't think it was all that bad considering it was done with a mouse .. etc, and i know that some of you are good with mice .. i myself am not ... there is definately things in it that could be modified.. but in a whole.. i thought it wasn't all that bad... just my 2 cents

bk

[Dthind]

quote:

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Originally posted by sacrelicious:
Channel Islands as viewed from Goleta, CA.

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Goleta, I just dove by on the way to Heart Castle, Cool view, (and the wallpaper of the day).

[spooge demon]

You don't have to go so dark... As long as the contrast is enough to hold the shape, you can do anyting you want. Also, the more contrast WITHIN the shape (i.e. active texture) the more surrounding shapes must be of a different value in order to separate.

Imagine me saying it's too dark

Well, it's dark anyway. The foreground trees are middle gray on the mac.

[Farwalker]

Wow that is beautiful Spooge. Its scary how good you are.

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Gamingvault.com

[sacrelicious]

Craig, I don't know if you'll read this again, but thanks so much for your advice, and your beautiful painting. I think I'm going to let this one lie and start some new pieces, but I appreciate the help greatly. Cheers!

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Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

[Slicer]

Spooge: Why the horror scene? It looks like the trees are rutten down and the lake is poisoned or something. Atleast for me it is. Anyone else seeing it? =)