[Bare Bonez]

Hey guys,

I was wondering if anyone could give me a hand on some composition. When I started this drawing, I added the two viewers in the front to give it some depth, however, as I started colouring it, I noticed that they distract from the main focus of the drawing, namely the two hackers.. Anyway, how could the composition be modified to focus it towards the two people in the center? Thanks in advance! Also any advice on any other improvements would be most welcomed! Thanks.

Small Version

Large Version

[ July 15, 2002: Message edited by: Bare Bonez ]

[cptoonz]

Howdy,

Well, I can give you some of my opinions, and some would say that I am "compositionally" challenged, so this is "free advice" and worth every penny ya' paid for it

Anyway, at this point it is too hard to tell (for me) just exactly every thing that is going on. Your anatomy and action is fine, IMHO. However, there is no way to relate the foreground, to the center of interest (the fighting characters, I presume) at this particular point in development. It strikes me as two seperate images, actually! Now, it appears, perhaps that the foreground dudes are looking down upon the combatants from a high vantage point...if so you need some BG info there to focus the eye, and establish things a bit. I am not sure what your intentions were, but I actually think the foreground dudes are a "distraction" because there is nothing in the BG to bring in the "balance", if you will. Work in some BG "structure" (not necessarily a building, I mean "artistic structure") to establish things and I think the foreground guys will fit right in. Now, I speak from personal experience, here...I have really screwed up some of my "best (note: relative term) concepts" work by not laying-out/sketching-in my whole composition and the perpsective for it from the beginning. I just see the image heading for trouble when you don't have a horizon line established and there is nothing else sketched in.

Don't misunderstand, I really think it has the potential for an exciting piece and the concept is cool. I hope I've helped, and sorry for the novel...good grief, I am verbose today

[Bare Bonez]

Ok, finally got working on the background. Thanks for the advice cptoonz, it helped a lot.

I'd like some crits on perspective - it looks right, but doesn't really scream action. What can be done to make this image a bit more dynamic?

Thanks in advance.

Version 2

[ July 16, 2002: Message edited by: Bare Bonez ]

[Cillian]

Man your characters are really nice. I don't know if everyone would agree with me, but if this is how your foreground works, then I believe the 2 heads are too big. It makes the characters look tiny.

Par that, I think just keep at it, there is definatly something there, just finish up on it

[Funk Master Kane]

well my suggestion to you is, if you want to give it an action look, make evrything else in the picture duller colors and have the mai characters stay bright.

Concerning the two viewers, I belive as previously stated that their heads are too big, and to help put the focus on the main characters blur the too viewers so It looks like they out of focus cause they are too close.

Besides that it looks good. hope I helped.

[Bare Bonez]

Thanks for the comments guys. I modified the image making the foreground face smaller. Also changed a lot just to give it more reality. Anyway, it's just a bunch of kids playing hackie sac in some miscellaneous neighbourhood (a break the usual from chicks and guns).



If else has any comments or crits, it's most welcome. Thanks!