Sijun Forums :: View topic

seethemd · Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2002 12:24 am

uh, hey everyone, look, uh, ive been working really hard on a black and white 3d animated six minute short film called "pretty girl"

anyway with the short only a few days away from being complete, here's the poster (wip), if anyone takes the time to look and comment, i'd really apreciate any advice at all (im at a standstill right now, i know there is plenty wrong, but dont know how to correct it, not even too sure im on the right path, uh, the poster lacks OOMPH, you know?)

www.benfalcone.com/posterrough.jpg

(oh and if anyone is interested, the teaser trailer is available at [url=http://www.benfalcone.com/trailer.avi)]www.benfalcone.com/trailer.avi)[/url]

arkoh · Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:48 am

Well... to start off with, I think I have to say, that it is extremely difficult to comment on this poster, in a fitting way for you I believe, since the story, or the plot of the story, seems almost impossible for me to get any kind of reading on from the teaser and the text on the poster! So take my comments with this in mind!!...

I don't think the poster is working as it is right now!

Overall thoughts:
First of all.. Its not in balance and it seems confused as to regarding the focus point compositionally speaking! Dont like the text... or the placement of the text to be more precise, it seems like it isn't quite clear as to wether it is a subtext or a headline (only Pretty Girl and wwwbenfalconecom seems right)! I dont like the "off-center" of the spotlight, I undestand that you want Louie to be in the center, but its ruining every chance of balance in the poster, since the spotlight as it is now is a more powerfull element than Louie! (could be solved by adding colour or more contrast to louie, but I undestand that you don't want that (the colour that is)... Have seen the teaser as well!) Second.. it doesn't get any thoughts going because it reveals nothing about the plot of the story, at least not to me (it says nothing about Louie, Pretty Girl etc! EXCEPT only one thing... the shadow Louie is casting on the wall (but I dont know what that's all about!

), and last but definately not least... It is simply extremely difficult to "read"/interpred!!! The only thing I am able to "read" (might just be me though!

) is the text, the spotlight, Louie's eyes and the shadow on the wall!) I have NO clue about whats going on with Louie and that irritates me, since the text is ALL about Louie... cant even find the jaw he's missing!!

Well hope I haven't blown you completely of your feet!

Good luck, hope you'll let us know when the shortfilm is finished! Would like to know if I've got anything right!!

[ March 18, 2002: Message edited by: arkoh ]

seethemd · Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:52 pm

hey arkoh,

thanks for taking the time out to download and comment. really great comments.

i guess i have been a little... abstract, about the story, with both the trailer and the poster...

thing is im really not too sure how to promote a 'sureal art slasher film based on a famous story most people havent* read"

your right about it not saying enough tho, i just kinda assume everyone see's the same thing i see (ive been working with the character in the animation for three months now) just reading over your post, and then typing out this response, ive come up with an idea... i'll post the result in this post... thanks again.

seethemd · Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2002 5:56 pm

still a wip, but this feels (to me) alot better

lets see, i made the text alot less prominate, and also tried to make it a little more... "fun" (?) hamming up the horror element with the shadow, as well as revealing a little about the story... uh, i tried to balance the image a little better dividing it in two, and repainted louie to look a little bit more expressive* (was aiming for a depressed look)

i wonder if the tag line makes any sense at all now... i changed the wording a little...
http://home.kooee.com.au/theresaf/website/posterrev.jpg

[ March 18, 2002: Message edited by: seethemd ]

[ March 18, 2002: Message edited by: seethemd ]

M.A.C.K · Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2002 3:07 am

i cant help but think that the spotlight should be erm.. more perfectly round with maybe a little blur around the edges

also the pose for the shadow is a little off.. the knife hand looks strange..

i like the characters and the idea of the menacing shadow etc.

keep it up mr.

look forward to the final production

arkoh · Posted: Wed Mar 20, 2002 9:37 am

Hey... sorry if my respon today will turn out a bit hasty (misspellings and the like!), I have one foot out the door as I type!

Its coming along well!! Not done, but definately progressing! The spotlight, and what goes on inside it, now all makes sense to me! Glad to see you brought out Louie more than before, works really well!! And to me, it also makes alot of sense that Louie is NOT centered, it makes the relationship between Louie and his shadow/"his nature" stand out as very powerfull! (this looking over his shoulder is a very powerfull trick! Feels almost Forbidden!) But I dont think I agree with the Size of the spot as it is now either... Either bring it away from the edge of the poster, or make it run over! This inbetween is problematic!

The text... hmmm difficult! Still NOT working, better though, but still not working! The top text somehow feels squeezed, between the top edge of the poster, and the spotlight. And the bottom text... hmmm its starting to interfere with the power of the spotlight and tilting the composition... somehow problematic!

Keep it coming!

[ March 20, 2002: Message edited by: arkoh ]