[tyron]

hulloo.

I just got my first job where i get to work with my art!
i'm a bit nervous, this is my first project for them.
it's a poster for a concert, i will do alots of those if they like it.
it's a club for teenagers where they can show their art and have concerts with their bands.

anyway, i wonder if this poster is ok?
is it clear enough?
does it draw attention to it?
anything i can improve?

i need all kinds of advice since i've never done anything like this before.. i've got a very low confidence when it comes to this one. please tell me what you think.

[dkimblad]

I think you need more contrast. Like making the background grey and the shadows black.
The shapes are good though.

Och hur l�ter "Uffes kl�llare" f�rresten?

BTW, you can't hear truth...

[Sukhoi]

It's not really balanced.
The taxt is squeesed to the left, and it irritates the eye. Also try not to twist and stretch the letters, it ruins the type, and thereby what the type embodies.
I kinda like the light idea though, so just keep at it, but look into composition.

Sukhoi

[specialbrew]

Personally, I'd make the type far more symplistic and contemporary, maybe have some kind of filtered gradient effect for the background and drop the hand-drawn figures, they over-complicate things I think.

sb

[OpenCL]

i don't understand the language, but I can tell that it is a concert poster. What i'm wondering is where is it and when.

Also to consider, where is the poster going, if its a larger format ( to be seen from a greater distance) you'll probably want it more simple, because more than likely someone is to be driving by so they will get a quick glance, if it is smaller in size then you can put in more details and such.

Other than that, the general design has a great feel, it just looks fun, and inviting.

But because i don't understand the language, I couldn't really tell if your answering questions people might have when they see it like:

Where is it going to be held?
What time does it start?
Maybe a phone number to call?
Are there any cover bands playing, if so
who are they?

stuff like that.

my 2 cents.

[vegeta�ONAC]

first the title doesnt pop out enuf it kinda blends in the background. also the text alignment in the letters in the title are off. also the bottom space is kinda dead, add some text of some sorts there. that may help. i like the kinda bauhaus style goin, keep pushin it and do many many thumbnails!

[arkoh]

Hmmmm... well I'll give you my thoughts on this one (I dont want to tell you how to do the poster, just what I think of when I look at it!):

(negative as well as positive!)

... Where's the teenage like message/ikon/statement in the poster? Where's the fun, where are the coloures (the tiny smile on the silhouette on the right is not obvious enough!)?

Where's the rythm and where's the "music" in the poster (Don't believe the spotlight is powerfull enough to tell that story!)?

The text... listen to Sukhois advice! The stretching really do irritates the eye!

I like the silhouettes! And I like their compository placement in the poster, as a flat nondetailed base for the rest of the poster (Not sure about the grey tone! A bit to dull and boring!). Why not use it as the container for the informatory text?

Further progress could be... colouring to add the contrasts, bring out theimportant information, catching peoples attention etc. (or maybe you don't want any colour????), correction of the text and start to include the further detailing, it will help you alot in the sketching progress to write everything that HAS to be in the poster, and then start moving it around working on the composition - and add further graphical text etc. afterwards!

General advice: make sure you know excactly what it is you want to say with the poster, and to what group of people you want to say this, before you actually start working on it!!!

Hope I haven't been to rough on you! As a first attempt, it's really not off to such a bad start!

Good luck!

[ February 01, 2002: Message edited by: arkoh ]

[tyron]

worked on it a bit more..
i think it looks better... do you?
need input!



Thanks everyone! all of your advices was very good! i gave everything a try..
is the something missing now?
is the text better? what could i do to make it stand out more? i really need to know.

arkoh: the poster shall only be black and white, otherwise it would've been fun to add colors.
and you're right.. the people probably should be more happy. the people that's there now was just a test, i drew some lines that was supposed to look like a crowd, took 2 minutes or something. i thought it looked ok so i kept them. maybe i should redraw them?
wouldn't it be hard to make silhuettes look that happy if you see them from behind? any ideas?

EDIT: wrong file... wooh! 242 posts! coolness!

[ February 01, 2002: Message edited by: tyron ]

[traveller]

The contrast really adds some depth and I like where you have placed your perspective plane. The next time, it would be invaluable if you use a grid layout system for your words. Also keep in mind the importance of hierarchy. congrats!

[tyron]

hold on.. that is not a perspective grid or anything.. it's supposed to symbolize light beams
the audience (foreground) is watching the band play, and that's where the light comes from.. and so on..

thanks for you input anyway i might try 3d letters next time...

[Kari Christensen]

Big improvement Tyron. I like it- it is clean and professional. 3d letters are often tacky- I wouldn't go there.

[tyron]

thank you kari. how nice of you *smiles*

[arkoh]

Right, its definately improoving, NO doubt about that! Especially the bottom functions very well!

Only a couple of comments this time.

I suppose Wastescape and Kommun are the two bands that will be playing at this gig, right? If so, I believe that the two types of text you have choosen, are either too much alike or not enough alike, and that bothers me, when I have to decode the message in the poster!!! Either choose two more different types than they are at the moment, or choose the same type for the two bands!! That is... move the undestanding of the two either further apart or closer together!

Second... The text on top bothers me as well! Either you want to say, at Uffes Kallare we present these two bands (using Uffes Kallare as what should draw people to this concert), or you wanna say... Listen people, Wastescape and Kommun are playing at Uffes Kallare, go check them out (or its the bands)? Right now its as if you are trying to say both at the same time but not getting the message trough. I believe this has something to do with the choice of color and the composition (The choice of black for this text and the time being pushed down on a second line, making this sentence more dominant as a graphical figure in the poster!) I believe using the same darkgrey as in the bottom for the top text (saying that the crowd going wild on this and this date (the silhouettes) is what Uffes kallare is all about) and making this sentence more as a united statement, by making this text fit in one line could solve this problem!

Composition... (two points of focus, and not three!) : 1. Uffes kallare and the lively crowd as the frame/the surrounding for 2. the action/the gig/the music: the two bands!

Hope I haven't made you more confused then clearheaded!!

[ February 02, 2002: Message edited by: arkoh ]

[tyron]

huh! point taken arkoh!
you sure have ALOT to say
everything makes sense though.
thanks for helping me out.

yes, you are right. wastescape and commun are playing at uffes k�llare.
i see what you mean with the fonts for the bands, i'll make them more similar..

what do you think i should do about the second problem? should i shrink the 'uffes k�llare' text?
or maybe black text for the bands and white for the location?

and the composition problem.. do you mean that i should move the 'uffes k�llare' text down next to the audience?
sorry, but you give so much advice that i don't understand all of it
you get 5 stars

[arkoh]

Well... I know I sometimes have too much to say, and that I sometimes actually make things more complicated than better by throwing it all out there all at once. I just sensed that you could take it and needed any kind of advice you could get, if not for anything else, then as inspiration to get moving! Good to see I wasn't wrong!

Allright... about the second problem! First of all... NO I wouldn't start moving it down next to the Silhouettes in the bottom! It makes sense where you've placed it, and I wouldn't start changing the choice of outlined text for the bands... I'm just saying that right now, the Text on top, are on its own both in color and in its shape! I believe you should work on combining the Toptext somehow in its shape and color, with the silhouettes in the bottom! I mean, if you take it from scratch, then the people (the silhouettes) are thought to be enjoying the music/gig at Uffes Kallare, right? - Then make sure you visually explain this in the poster, so that people lookin at the poster know this instinctly!

Suggestions... (need work to determine if any of these are at all the right thing to do. Only based on a hunch)

Shrink the toptext, so it fits on one line or maybe two (Uffes Kallare in one line primary, and 23 mars kl. 21.00 in another, secondary/smaller). Change the color of the text, using the same color as used in the silhouettes! Use a texttype that visually looks different then the texttype of the bands and somehow similar to the shape and feel of the silhouettes (sounds strange but could be possible!)

(a bit farther of, but worth a try!) The toptext could be written as white in grey, as the informative text in the bottom! Inside another silhouette (like a silhouette of a row of lights hanging from the ceiling!) Or maybe the name of the place, Uffes Kallare could be a silhouette in itself, with the date and time inside it!

Ups... No more. I can sense that what I'm starting to do here, is sketching the poster in text (that means verbaly advicing you on the process of sketching/experimenting I would do! No good in words, could do more harm than good!!!)... The sketching process should be on your screen and in your head...

Post the next step in the progress, and lets see...

[ February 03, 2002: Message edited by: arkoh ]

[tyron]

hey arkoh? how's this?
i tried to make two focal points.
one with the bands and one with the location. is the band names more dominating
now?
i also corrected the date.. hrmm
the deadline is tomorrow...
here goes.

[arkoh]

First reaction... too much going on in the grey area now and the grey area has grown more upwards than it can take!

It worked really well before, because it was a suttle and clear statement with the silhouettes and the small text in the two corners! A well proportioned base for the rest of the poster. To me the text in the middle of the grey has disrupted this balance!

I would focus on your second proposal/composition and simply make that work better! But I think you are very much on the right track, when focusing on only two focal points instead of the original three!

[ February 03, 2002: Message edited by: arkoh ]

[tyron]

how can i keep it as step 2 and at the same time only have 2 focal points?
i don't get it...

[arkoh]

You dont have to physically combine the two, to join them visually (make them part of the same focal point)!

quote

Quote:

Change the color of the text, using the same color as used in the silhouettes! Use a texttype that visually looks different then the texttype of the bands and somehow similar to the shape and feel of the silhouettes (sounds strange but could be possible!)

Use elements from the lower Silhouette graphical mass to design/solve the toptext and its graphic shape and placement.

I believe you only have to work with the Toptext and the Text of the bands, to tie this up!!!

Not that far to go man... keep pushing! it!

Good luck!

[grasshoppa]

I was just looking at your poster and it didn't occur to me that those figures were people(I thought it was a coastline :confused anyway I know most people wouldn't make that mistake, but I made it cause I didn't expect a club to be bright like that, so I decided to show you how I would re-assign values to your poster.

I might add that I like you poster. I would make the background black though and the light lines white. heres my crappy ps magic wand version of what I mean.

if the pic doesn't show, I'll edit it, anyway cool work.



[ February 04, 2002: Message edited by: grasshoppa ]