[Lunatique]

Rob�s Adventure Across the Country

(For those of you who didn't know, I just got a new job as an art director, and this is my account of me driving from California to Kentucky in three days)

Day one: I started going north on 101, then connected onto Interstate 80. Nevada was really boring, if you took out all the obnoxious neon signs for all the goddamn casinos.

Incident #1: late that night, I missed a gas stop, and for the next god-knows-how-many-miles, there was absolutely nothing. I mean, it was like driving in a black hole with a road floating in the middle, with the odd transport vans and trucks zooming by. By the time I realized I was probably closer to the gas stop I missed than the next one, I was already down to lower than � of a tank. I had about 34 miles to go to backtrack to the previous gas stop. Sure enough, about a few miles before I was even close to it, my warning light kicked on. It was dim at first, but with each mile I drove, it got brighter and brighter. . .. Man, I started praying as I thought I heard the car choke. And ten seconds later, there was the gas stop, in the middle of nowhere. I promised myself right then and there that I�ll ALWAYS fill my tank as soon as it hits halfway. Let this be a lesson to all of you.

I ended my first day of driving by checking in a casino/hotel right before Colorado. $29.99 for a spiffy two-bed room with lots of burgundy colored drapings and bedding. I guess it�s cheap because they make their money off of you gambling. When the desk clerk gave me gambling coupons{the dude looked just like that guy who played the evil emperor The Gladiator. You know, the one with the intense eyes, and always looked like he hasn�t slept in days}, I looked at him in disgust and said, �I DON�T gamble.�

Day two:

Incident #2: I was driving through the desert right at the border of Nevada and Colorado during high noon, and the sight was just awesome. The entire horizon was unobstructed, and all I saw was the massive, enveloping sky, white sand for as far as the eyes could see, and rocky cliffs very far in the distance. I thought, �I gotta take a picture of this.� So, I pulled over and whipped out my trusty Olympus C3030z and snapped away. Well, I learned on that day that it is ILLEGAL to pull over the side of the Interstate highway unless it�s an absolute emergency. I tried to be cute and asked the officer does spilling coffee all over yourself count as an emergency. He replied, �It better be some DAMN hot coffee.� Too bad I�m not a coffee drinker.

Incident #3: As I drove through the border of Nevada and Colorado, the wind picked up, and I literally couldn�t see more than 70ft in front of me because the sand was just flying everywhere. It�s as bad as driving through very heavy fog, except much noisier. It reminded of the sandstorms I read about in Jennifer Roberson�s Sword Dancer.

After I came out into the clear, I was greeted by the incredible mountains Colorado is famous for. I had Conan the Barbarian soundtrack blasting right then, and man, it was such an awe-inspiring moment, because not only was I driving in such incredibly majestic surroundings, I had the perfect film score to go with it. I was so taken by the landscape that it wasn�t until I stopped for some food I found out I had crossed into Wyoming.

Incident #4: As if the sandstorm wasn�t bad enough, I get hit by VERY heavy snowing in the middle of Wyoming. The sun had already set by then, and visibility was just a joke. I�ve NEVER driven in snow before, and I didn�t know that snow does not fall like rain; it drifts TOWARDS your windshield, in gigantic flakes that swirl and fly, their only purpose: to completely obstruct your visibility. Soon, I was driving on patches of ICE, and decided to pull over at a rest area to relive my bloated bladder. Well, I definitely was not equipped to WALK in snow, as the scab I now have on my left elbow proves it (Oh yeah, I fell pretty hard in Nevada while trying to climb onto some rocks to take a picture of the awesome sunset. I saved my camera by letting my flesh and bones cushioning the impact. . ..}.

Incident #5: I asked some trucker if I should be driving in the heavy snow, and if I needed chains for the kind of weather we were experiencing. �Nah, your don�t need chains yet, just use your head about it and you should be fine.� Those were the wise words of a certain bushy bearded fella, whose name was probably Bubba, Biff, or Max. Well, either he was fucking with me, or I didn�t use my head about it{those of you that REALLY know me will say the latter, which I whole-heartedly agree}, because pretty soon, I found myself stuck in mushy snow and had lost all the traction to my tires. On top of that, the snow was coming down like hell had frozen over. Luckily, the kindness of strangers which I so often rely on, made its appearance in my moment of desperation (the whole time I kept thinking about stories of people trapped in their car during heavy snow and freezing to death. . ..}. This young couple pulled up with their truck and they helped me get out of the mushy snow. �Happens all the time,� the dude said. �Back in high school, I used to work at a record shop near the Interstate, and we used to get people out of being stuck in snow several times a day.� Well, maybe I�m not THAT much of a dork then if it happens to lots of people.

Nah. I�m a dork.

Day Three: Until you have driven through other states, you won�t realize just HOW awesome the bay area really is. Throughout Wyoming and Nebraska, there was NOTHING. Every hundred miles I might come across a factory or barn, and sometimes hundreds of cows or horses grazing, but other than that, there were no cities to speak of. You could seriously die out there and no one would know for a LONG time. And of course, whenever I stopped for anything, I ALWAYS got weird looks. The kind of rednecks and hicks you only see in the movies--they are VERY real.

Incident #6: In the evening, I missed an exit in Missouri, and had to pull over to ask for directions. As I drove down the street looking for someone who looked like they might be fairly intelligent/knowledgeable, I noticed the houses got scarier and scarier(in various states of falling apart, and most looked like they were haunted). Well, to make it worse, it was also in a neighborhood that was equivalent to our Oakland or East Palo Alto(all Africans). As soon as I pulled over and rolled down my window, the people on the street swarmed to my car and started to look in at all the crap I was trasporting(digital camera, CD�s, clothes..etc), and that freaked me out. I politely asked for directions, and other than unintelligible/confusing directions, all I got was lots of shifty looks. Of course, I got the hell out of there as soon as I could get their hands off of my window so I could roll it back up and leave(that took a while because they would NOT let go).

Driving through St. Louis was such a welcome sight. Finally a REAL developed, modern city! The huge arch was quite impressive (I drove right past it). The rest of the drive to Louisville was quite smooth.

By 5:00 am eastern standard time, I was in Louisville, checking into a motel just blocks away from my new apartment (I didn�t have the keys yet).

So, there, my drive across the country. I bet you are all laughing your asses off after reading this. That�s ok, I�m the born entertainer.


[This message has been edited by Lunatique (edited April 06, 2001).]

[Impaler]

You probably ought to change the address in your info, seeing as you moved.

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My signature is slightly better than yours.

[Frost]

Hehe, that was a fun read - thanks.

I really enjoyed your description of your first encounter with... THE SNOW!! hehe =)

[Dthind]

GREAT Story !. I lived in Walnut Creek for awhile. I used to take BART to MacAurther station to the A's games (for those of you not familiar with references, ignore this post).

I had to work in St. Louis for a few weeks, so it has its own 'dark' culture. Do Not drive off the beaten track.

Anyway post the pictures !

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Blah...Blah...Blah 'Ginger'

[Ian]

Me lives in CA, not right now though. I'm stuk in singafrickenpore and I loathe every moment of it.

BART - Bay Area Rapid Transport :P

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To thine own self be true.

[Dthind]

BART = Moslty clean subway with not so much 'sub'. Although it does go under the bay when it leaves Oakland (as in Oakland Raiders and Oakland A's), on its way to San Francisco.

You can also take BART to Berkeley, home of SETI (Lawrence Hall of Science is also kind of cool)

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Blah...Blah...Blah 'Ginger'

[PandaX52]

Yeah! post your road trip pics!

haha I laughed when I read the part about the Conan the Barbarian soundtrack...that reminds me of a time when my friend and I were late to school, he incidentally had the empire strikes back soundtrack in his cd player, I quickly skipped to "the asteroid battle" and turned the cd player up full blastt. As we entered the parking lot we rolled down the windows right and at the climactic part of the song. DAAAAhh DAAh duh DuM DUU DAAAH DUUUUM!!! It was all perfectly snychronized and we made geeky fools of ourselves at the same time...

[Ian]

we want pictures!!

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To thine own self be true.

[email protected]
ICQ:36732485

[Guy]

that was a cool story. you got to show some of those pics soon.

oh and driving in snow is the best! .. well fresh snow. not that slush crap

[PlantMan]

Nice story! Things are quite cramped in UK but I spent some time in OZ.(Begins engrained traveller's yarn) I took the train from Perth to Sydney which is the width of Oz. It took 3 days but the expanse ther was awesome too. Your concept of perspective gets distorted when there is NOThing but sand to the horizon. I say some Aboriginals and the odd building but otherwise there was nothing but sunrise , sunset, sand etc. At the end of it we reached the Blue mountains which was great as everything became greener as we ascended. We went from a desert to a temperate climate in hours. Twas brilig.

[frostfyre]

Wow! Kentucky? It sounds like your adventures are just beginning

RE: Rednecks and equiptment- so there you are, with more advanced technology than anything the locals have ever seen, dressed weird & clearly a stranger...

Reminds me of Marty McFly when he arrived in the 1950's

Anyways- good luck, and thanks for the account of your journey!

frostfyre

[Lunatique]

Ask, and you shall receive.

Here are a few of the pics. Sorry about the large file sizes. I havn't installed anything on this new computer that can resize images yet(I'm at the new office, and I have NO idea where they keep their software. No one's here on Sunday, so. . ..).


This is when Conan the Barbarian was blasting.


This is right before the sandstorm really picked up. You can see it's already eating up the visibility.


I took this one as the highway patrol officer sat in his car copying down my information. To the right side is nothing but sand.


I climbed onto some rocks to take this one. . ..


. . .and right after I took this one, I fell down, but managed to save my camera.


[This message has been edited by Lunatique (edited April 08, 2001).]

[PandaX52]

Whoa, that sandstorm image looks really murky, did you take the picture as you were driving?!

hi-rez=good

[Visionary]

Seen those mountains before on my way to ski races. Very cool story bud. I got a horde of E-mails though when you sent this story out earlier.

-Visionary

[Lunatique]

Yeah, all the ones where I was obviously on the highway were taken as I was going about 80 mph. It's definitely dangerous, but it's so much easier with a digital camera, since you just have to glance at the LCD instead of putting it up against your eye to take a picture.

Visionary: sorry about the hordes of email. Those are my buddies hitting "reply to all" buttons when they wrote back.