[jizmo]

Here's update to pic i posted yesterday, too bad i didn't get much replys on it, i'd really appreciate feedback.

anyway, original was drawn with a 0,7mm marker and looked something like this:



i corrected few mistakes and added some shading to it using the same marker and this is what i came up with:





was this an improved or did i ruin the whole thing? again, any guidance or feedback or your improved version of the work would be greatly appreciated.

thx in advance,

-jizmo

[Kuzya]

that is SO NICE!! nice LINES .. love the lines!! =)

[gene_sequence]

Jiz(?!):

First of all, that's a mighty fine drawing there! Good character and good placement.

Just a couple of things to point out. You can really notice this in the reduced version of the drawing - but the lines that outline the character's form and limbs is virtually the same thickness as the shading lines (which are very nicely done - I might add). This makes it difficult to distinguish the form (e.g. the limbs from the chest, or the mech from the body parts) from the shading and gives the image a sort of hairy look that probably isn't what you wanted (considering the larger version). I would go back and retrace the outlines in a thicker line to improve their contrasts (I know - what a tedious task! I've been there!).

Secondly, and this is even more picky - his clavicles (those shoulder-neck bones) are very - umm- interestingly placed. Since this is a more or less humanoid form, I think it bears mentioning that the clavicle and the scapula (shoulder blade at back) hold the arms in place, but the way you have it, would severely limit his range of motion. This could certainly be attributed to artistic license, but it just jumped out at me, so I mention it here.

Once again, very quality work! Keep it up.

- genes.

[Rinaldo]

jizmo-
You look like you've been learning you're anatomy out of a comic book.
You don't mention if you want help with anyhting but I'll have a go anyway.
most of that anatomy is wrong. you should get a good book on the subject. While there is a lot of room for "interpretation" there are things that you must keep in mind if your character is going to "work" from a structural point of view. if you're into comic book style anatomy then some Hogarth anatomy books might help. there are structural rythums to the human form that will make any character anatomy from mickey mouse to superman work in a belivable fashon. things like how the muscles in the arm overlap. you can draw them huge you can draw them with curved lines, hard straight ones it doesn't matter. if you get the basic things down then you can knock yourself out with artistic license .
Ok here's a little explenation of what I'm going on about.
some arms showing overlap of the muscles. some of these are from anatomy books because I'm not sure if I'm gonna get plastered scaning pages and putting them up on the net. sore are just quick sketches.
I'm no expert but enven tho some of the anatomy may be wrong they are still holding together. if you want to learn anatomy get a good book. it's just easier to draw than explain for me.
if you learn the musculature then you can mess with it however you want.

about your shading, I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve here. there aren't any real shadows, you are using basicaly one shade of grey with the lines. with very little contrast happening as a result. the drawing is a lot harder to read now.
one task that I was drilled with in Illustration class was to take a black and white image with some nice contrast. then render it using a whole range of techniques. all was done with pen and ink (rapidograph (s) in this case) and covered stuff like pointilism, modulated line, loose line, crosshatch, so on so forth (if you want a complete list and explenation of the techniques I could probably help you out). Now I HATED this rubbish. I thought it was pretty pointless. but now that I think about it even though I probably didn't learn this from doing it becase I wasn't thinking about at the time (and I'm not sure if the techer meant it this way), it teaches you about pure light and dark. all you have is the greyscale spectrum, with all the different techniques there was one constant, arguable the most important one, namely the skill of rendering with light and dark in B+W. there is no fallback of your trusted technique, nothing that just "works" and you don't know why. if you don't understand that with all techniques you are working with light and dark then you will fail.
I suppose I would sugest this sort of thing to you looking at your shading, because it looks like you haven't done much exploration with this sort of thing.

With that said, and me coming off as a complete dick. you have some fantastic lines there. a lot of control is evident. the character is pretty wierd and cool as well

Sorry if I sound harsh, I mean well and I can see a lot of potential in your line work. I hope I've helped more than hindered