[mantis]

i shall try to beat it. . .

being a little fat, but not fat enough to be actually called fat, but fat enough to feel fat

having a horrible computer

getting swollen wrists using the graphire

having to deal with my brother's bitchings because he lets me use the computer

having a brother

school

homework

parents issues and demands for school work

the relentless bullshit I have to endure everyday in school

having to deal with "goths, preppies, skaters, wiggers, and etc" in school

sick of trying

sick of not trying

sick of trying to not try while trying to try but failing

failing in everything

always getting 2nd place, if at that

constantly being reminded of college and how many dicks I will have to suck to enter a good one

having nothing furry and soft to pet. a girl would be nice but I would settle for a cat.

lack of social skills

horrid dreams

being labeled an "outsider, smartass, anti-social"

having urges to put holes in the wall

giving in to the urges

facing the consequences

shitty chair that has no armrests and makes arms hurt like hell

being weak and frail

being slow, weak, and frail

spending 10+ hours online

thinking it will help to bitch in a bullitin board

never being able to finish my personal website

complete and utter apathy for everything and nothing

gym

feeling like a hypocrite when I realized that I have become the american that I constantly ridicule and despise

having the urge to paint in windows paintbrush, and nothing else

being a graphics monkey and considering it for a future

not having my own computer

not having the new NIN cd

being physically weak

. . .that's all for now
damn that felt good, maybe I should do it IRL



------------------
Arpan . B
[email protected]
www.liquid2k.com/koma
Highroller Studios

[faustgfx]

trying to compete?

pretty much all of what you said. except i have the new nin disc and i laugh at it. i also laugh at you for going to a fucking gym. i also laugh at you 'cause you go to school. same applies for homework and parent issues and school work. and a brother. also the computer. i also have mastered ms paint.

having wasted a year of my life to chemicals.

having wasted countless of nights to alcohol.

having wasted so many hundred hours crying because of one person.

having no family.

today is a prime example of my life. i woke up at 3 pm. arrived to work at 4 pm. played Alien versus Predator with Affected for a bit. then watched half of Men in Black. then from 6pm to 10:15 pm i just sat still and listened to massive attack's dissolved girl in repeat and thought about things. i consider this day one of hte most interesting and action filled days i have had in a looong time.

then i play multiplayer games with people in my company.

then i watch movies with people in my company.

then i play games alone in my company.

then i just sit alone in my company.

i go home three times a week to sleep. that's about 13-17 hours maximum total, including the time awake.

then i do work stuff in my company.

then i just do nothing in my company.

once in a while i go to a bar and get piss drunk and avoid people as much as i can and whine about my shitty life to my co-workers who end up half beating me up.

oh i forgot i ate a pack of Artificial Duck Flavour YumYum noodles today, just 'cause they taste good.

i spend 24 hours a day online.

literally speaking i spend 90% of the time i'm awake online. irc and forums and email and icq.

then i read 2 months old newspapers at home. i like that. i hate the today, i like the past as long as it is not my own past.

but it's all nice, almost getting killed 'cause of showing interest to some female. it's also nice to be this close to getting locked up and institutionalized to hell and fuck and back. 18 shrinks, psychologists, psychotherapists and other equal cocks. it's nice to spend the first 16 years of your life in complete utter nothing, then enter the world full of shit and dive below the shit surface into complete shit like no other for the rest of your days.

but hey, at least my money's good enough for other people to use!

bring it on, enter round 2, mantis!


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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected] /
icq#35983387

[[Shizo]]

Same as Maruman.
Mein is in Germany and i live in USA

[Count Zero]

Get a room you two...

[Blade]

Lol you two i think you need your own forum.(j/k)
Anyway i forgot some of my other frustrations but they do not compare you the almight faustgfx's frustrations

I only have ONE ear and a hole in my chest making my ribs stick. Its real attractive to the ladies ya know.
I have a scar the size of my thigh on my thig that is missing one layer of skin because the doctor used it to patch up my right ear that is no longer an ear. I want to get it fixed. If i do get it fixed then i lose money for college and have a chance of having to stay in highschool for 5 years because of missing too much class time. It laready had happened once in kindergarder where my parents told me that i also went to "beggindergarden".
Never Had a girlfriend and im fuckin 17
Im always too much of a wuss to say anything to them.
And that about sums my up

[time_101]

i'm frustrated when i find myself wallowing in self pity...

oh yes, and girls are always frustrating.

[[Shizo]]

I wanna be pop! I wanna be known around the world and have fans, but that doesn't work so i'm all depressed.. I think ill make the bloodiest school shooting to date and become famous this way?

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Nothing really matters to me

[Silico]

here's an update since last fustration:

for these reasons: under age drinking, driving, illegal drugs, someone elses daughter(who came on her own will), & breaking and entering --

got my license revoked, lost 3 of my best friends i had for 8 year of my life(that's almost half my life right there), nearly got murdered for "taking someone's women", & i'm ground unless i have to go to juve.

fair punishment for what i did, i suppose...

anyways, i don't know what you're talking about faustgfx, i was among the first to sign up here and yes, i remember the fight between you and some other ass. if i remembered right, you really screwed yourself for saying "bitch" at the end of your posts. spose that didn't matter seeing that you had no esteem and hated yourself anyways.

------------------
`~*Silico

[This message has been edited by Silico (edited November 29, 2000).]

[Maruman]

wanting to kill your self but being to scared

[Spitfire]

I wont even start...


Let�s just say i�d like it if people thought better of me.

[faustgfx]

silico, you are the biggest fucking dick ever alive.

if you were around back then, take a look at the random musings thread that was started by sanga who got a tad offended by a certain mongoose and read the discussion carefully.



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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected] /
icq#35983387

[cybergod]

i am 17 and never shoot agun
1 more yeare

[faustgfx]

we do?



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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected] /
icq#35983387

[Bugscratch]

Well in terms of girls. I hope so.

-bugscratch

[faustgfx]

well it's payday this thursday.

armed with my shitty persona, expensive new coat and tons of money, friday's bar crawl will be the final proof about whether it's possible for me to get company even for half a hour, if for nothing else then at least the fuckload o' money.

at least i'm 80% sure the female workers at the emergency hospital will hug me. negative thing about it is that i most likely will not register it in any way.

ah well. such is lack of life.


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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected] /
icq#35983387

[Bugscratch]

Well what can I do except to wish you good luck with 'em girls
Try an Escorial if they got that up there in Finland, the stuff rules........

-bugscratch

[faustgfx]

the heck is escorial?



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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected] /
icq#35983387

[Ragnarok]

He is telling you to become a priest...
In fact El Escorial is a monastery (I dunno if this is the right word) near Madrid very beautiful and famous.

[Bugscratch]

The best liquor you can get in German bars. Some people say it tastes like Jaegermeister but since I never drank that I don't know. Has 56 % of alcohol, and works wonders against colds. But it's really rare even in it's country of origin (Germany) so I doubt you got it in Finland.

-bugscratch

[faustgfx]

in that case i think i'll take it as an fuckyou. :|

but then again, i could become a fucking monk, that way i'd have 300 times better chances of getting something out of life than i do now. :>

a shared angst is a doubled angst!



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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected] /
icq#35983387

[Bugscratch]

Hey Ragnarok, didn't see your post

Yes I heard about the monastery, and I'm still working on tracing the connection between that monastery and the beverage Escorial (actually full name is "Escorial Gr�n", Escorial Green, though it's not very green).

-bugscratch

[faustgfx]

if i want strong, i'll just go for Stroh.

otherwise i like mint liquors and mint alcohol and all that has mint in it.

then there's the occassional whiskey and black russians and the like.

generally i stay away from beer and cider and that stuff.

i've found out that vodka with red bull (not the canuck beer, but the energy drink) is THE shit. i recommend that. god the amount of vomit that will be flying after you drink a dozen or so 0.3 liter glasses of that.

then there's the classic bloody mary, i like that as well.

buyt then again, it's not the taste, it's the alcohol.



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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected] /
icq#35983387

[Ragnarok]

w00ps
I didn't know anything about that beer.
Who put the name of a monastery on a beer? Some people are weird...

[Bugscratch]

Well if you like mint stuff I think Escorial is for you. It's a herb & roots liquor.
As for Vodka, I like Puschkin Black Sun. It claims to contain extracts from something they call the "Taiga root" but I never had a chance to find out what it is.
I heard really bad storys about Vodka & Red Bull so I never tried it, since I usually don't drink to vomit. And I heard that's all I can get from that.
I don't like bitters like Campari too much.
If there's some hard stuff on a party I usually go for that (or bring along some Escorial), otherwise I'll settle for beer, I guess that's what I'm supposed to do as a German anyways.

-Bugscratch

[Bugscratch]

Ragnarok, it's not a beer....it's a 56 % alcohol liquor.
And even if it were beer, in Germany it's not unusual to name breweries after monasteries, since many breweries were founded in monasteries. For example we got
"Alpirsbacher Klosterbr�u" , "Alpirsbacher monastery draft" or something along those lines.

-bugscratch

[Bugscratch]

Maruman's & Ian's & a whole bunch of other guy's problem.....
The girls.....
Well just see it in a positive way. At least we got hope
Hey Ian are you talking about the girl you drew some time ago ? If that's too indiscreet a question, just ignore it.... I know I got no manners


-bugscratch

[Spitfire]

Monastaries were the original breweries in europe... geez

[CapnPyro]

how'd the girl hunting go at the bar faust

[faustgfx]

it's thursday now. not friday.

today is honest work day :(



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sky high with a heartache of stone you never see me 'cos i'm always alone

[email protected] /
icq#35983387

[Silico]

there we go i changed my last fustration thing because faustgfx thinks i have the biggest fucking dick ever alive?

anyways, tommorrow are finals for the rest of my classes... in math, psychology, and photography and that in itself should be considered a fustration so this can't be a wasted post. alright, best of wishes to you faustgfx in the bar!!