[phreaknasty]

this is a repost www.sijun.com/dhabih/ubb/Forum2/HTML/003641.html and for this i must apologize. the last post never pick up any steam and i'm pumped to finish this up. any feedback would be great. (composition especially). kill it, cut it, paint it. crop it....



sorry, and thanks

[This message has been edited by phreaknasty (edited August 14, 2000).]

[Lange_Pisang]

...I just love it...

[Bilbo]

Cool image, i love that nice contast..

[Nex]

really like this pic .. it has this humphrey (sp?) bogart look to it.
Just her cheeks are a bit too big in my opinion.. she looks like she is gonna make a balloon out of the cigarette

You know what would be cool? I you would add a background like for instance a train station or something.. looks really like that to me.

great work.

[Gothic Gerbil]

You think subway? I think smokey jazz club type setting, that's what brought to mind by this pic. I definitely agree about the cheeks though. And absolutely love the hair, except for the top bit on the left-hand side of the pic, the harshness of the line kind bothers me. It doesn't quite seem to mold to the controlled wavy style of her hair either. And uh, that necklace? What's holding it on? It doesn't look like it goes all the way around her neck! Just kind of cuts off abruptly at the shadow there on the right, and I can't see on outline of it on the back of her neck which I believe I should be able to see? I could be wrong here... And the same goes for the left-hand side of the necklace though it isn't as severe as the right-hand side.

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-- Jeff Land
http://www2.andrews.edu/~landj/
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[mantis]

excellent! Just a few gripes with this image. I would try to go to "image>adjust>brightness and contrast" and tweak that to get a tiny bit more contrast. You should also get rid of the little sketch lines around the left eye. Besides that the picture is superb.

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Arpan . B
[email protected]
www.liquid2k.com/koma
Highroller Studios

[Frost]

Phreaknasty : I like the image a lot, very sweet. =))

[Rinaldo]

fantastic pic there. Not going to give crits because fudging with it might destroy what I like about it

it's got a lot of attitude.

[Kyri]

Phreaknasty, great pic! I really like it a lot. I don't think it needs a backround, it looks great as it is, if anything maybe a bit of smoke coming off the ciggie.

[Tinusch]

Haha, that's really awesome. Love the attitude. Looks like Diana Ross (is it?). You should just quickly go in with a small transparent brush and doodle in some smoke from the cigarette. Awesome pic though.

[spooge demon]

Hey Phreaknasty, I think some of your shapes are very strong. You have given great care to the shape of the hair, very important here.

It would be nice to see your reference before I say anything, but I will try.

If you are trying for a high contrast black and white image, my crit is as follows;

The texture in the shaded flesh is too active. The light is flat, as the shade should be. It looks like the photo was set up to expose the shadows and blow out the lights. That is fine, it is usually the other way around. With this type of image, you have your big shapes, and then the transition from light to dark. If it is black and white, there are a variety of fancy shapes that you can use to simulate the turning of form from light to shadow. Since you are using grey here, you don�t need to worry bout that. The transition from light to dark becomes very important, because there are no halftones in the lit side to show form. You have to imply your forms from the precision turning from light to dark. Case in point is the cheek. Top plane in light, side plane in shadow. You have to pay more attention to this area where it goes from light to shadow- that is where the eye candy and information is. As I said before, your big shapes are very good and are holding the pic together, but look really carefully at the edges of light to shadow transition.

If you are not going for the high contrast look, and want a more naturalistic distribution of values,

Think about the actual local value of the skin and hair and eyes. Hair is black, good, skin is dark gray. Hmmm. You have it set up as the lit side of the skin is the highest value. There should be a whole range of values within the lit side, not blown out white. The whites of the eyes are in light, yes? Shouldn�t that be lighter than grey skin in light? This is the problem of working from photos. You are limited, and unless you really know your stuff, you can�t do much besides design and copy the shapes you see. I bet there is no halftone information in this photo. Working this way is fine for learning your media, but you would learn so much more by looking at a real black person! You could do a lot more with this photo then.

I know a lot of people think life drawing is an extravagance, and just working from photos will get you where you need to be, and no one will ever know the difference. I have made a mental note to try to explain in real terms the value of it, and here is one of so many examples.

[phreaknasty]

thanks for the comments everyone. i'll try to work in as many as possible.

spooge - i didn't use a reference, this was a live sketch of my girlfriend ... no really

seriously though here is the reference

i can see your point about the shadows as well as signs of it being photobase. i really don't trust my skill enough to post any live drawings yet. if i refine the light to dark transition aren't i going to loose the sketchy feel and move more to a airbrushed look. how do you maintain your loose sketchy style yet produce refined transitions?

looking through your eyes has shown me a lot, thanks.

[This message has been edited by phreaknasty (edited August 14, 2000).]

[phreaknasty]

an update -


and the full scale image - www.pixeljock.com/sijun/Naomi_full2b.jpg

for brevity and simplicity's sake i decided not to put a background in but hopefully i was successful in smoothing out the shadows, refining the tonal transitions, toning down the puffy cheeks and braking up the edge of the hair in the top left part of the image. what do you guys think?

spooge - was i effective in addressing your issues? it almost seems too smooth at this point

once again thanks for the help


[This message has been edited by phreaknasty (edited August 15, 2000).]

[eetu]

again a minor nitpick, the cigarette should be a little on top of the upper lip as well.

a minor thing, but now she seems to be sucking it a bit and it looses a tiny bit of the attitude.. :)

eetu.

[Silico]

Man, no matter how freakin good i was at art i still don't think i could see those errors you are all pointing out so obvious! i know it's criticism and it's what he asked for, but now i'm afraid to post and get like PURE critisism and like nothing good at all...

at either rate, that picture is great; a job well done mister phreaknasty!! although i really don't have that much interest in pictures that are so... hrmm... normal i guess, i mean just like a human standing there -- the picture serves it's purpose, which is what really matters.

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`~*Silico

"He who lives by the sword, will eventually be wiped out by some bastard with a sawn off shotgun."

[roetevs]

Cool, I like it.
Great job!!