[Lukias]

WHEN SANTA RUNS OUT OF PROZAC -postcards from the kids...
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa,
> > > > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas.
> > > > Iv ben a good boy all yeer.
> > > > YeR FReND,
> > > > BiLLy
> > > >
> > > > Dear Billy,
> > > > Nice spelling.You're on your way to being a career lawncare
> > specialist.
> > > > How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read
and
> > write?
> > > > I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can
>spell!
> > > > Santa
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa,
> > > > I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask
> > > > for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
> > > > Love,
> > > > Sarah
> > > >
> > > > Dear Sarah,
> > > > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
> > > > Santa
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa,
> > > > I've written you for three years now asking for a fire
> > > > truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!
> > > > Love,
> > > > Joey
> > > >
> > > > Dear Joey,
> > > > Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch
> > > > your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know
> > > > what to do with.
> > > > Santa
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa,
> > > > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like
> > > > for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
> > > > Please see what you can do.
> > > > Love,
> > > > Teddy
> > > >
> > > > Dear Teddy,
> > > > What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with
> > > > The babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a
> > > > hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
> > > > Santa
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa,
> > > > I need more Pokemon cards please! All my friends have more
> > > > Pokemon cards than me. Please see what you can do.
> > > > Love,
> > > > Michelle
> > > >
> > > > Dear Michelle,
> > > > It blows my fucking mind. Kids are forcing their parents to
> > > > buy hundreds of dollars worth of these stupid cards, and none
of you
> > > > snot-nosed brats are even learning to play the game. Let me get
you
> > > > something more your speed, like "Snakes and Ladders."
> > > > Santa
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa,
> > > > I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a
> > > > dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
> > > > Love,
> > > > Francis
> > > >
> > > > Dear Francis,
> > > > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays?
> > > > Santa
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa,
> > > > I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
> > > > carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
> > > > Love,
> > > > Susan
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Dear Susan,
> > > > Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my
> > > > face. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas
Regal
>and
> > > > some Toblerone.
> > > > Santa
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa,
> > > > What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
> > > > Are you making toys?
> > > > Your friend,
> > > > Thomas
> > > >
> > > > Dear Thomas,
> > > > All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I
spend
> > most
> > my
> > > > time squeezing cocktail waitresses asses, and losing all my
cash at
> > the
> > > > craps table. Hey, YOU wanted to know!
> > > > Santa
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa,
> > > > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when
we're
> > awake,
> > > > like in the song?
> > > > Love,
> > > > Jessica
> > > >
> > > > Dear Jessica,
> > > > You are that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do, I'm
> > > > skipping your house.
> > > > Santa
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa,
> > > > I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please
> > > > PLEASE,
> > > > Timmy
> > > >
> > > > Timmy,
> > > > That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that
> > > > crap don't work up here. You're getting a sweater again.
> > > > Santa
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Dearest Santa,
> > > > We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into
> > > > our home?
> > > > Love,
> > > > Marky
> > > >
> > > > Mark,
> > > > Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you're
> > > > getting your ass whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live
> > > > in a house, that's a low-rent apartment
> > > > complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad just
like
>all
> > the
> > > > burglars do, through your bedroom window.
> > > > Sweet Dreams!
> > > > Santa

[Lukias]

Why Cybergod I actually find that highly amusing, your english seems to have gotten better.....how nice.

[cybergod]

DEAR SANTA
i have been agood boy so i whant the new BMW and new remington sniper rifle
love you ME