[pimento]

Hello, I'm a frequent vistor and I finally decided to post some of my work. This is a 30 to 40 min sketch (minus the sky) without a photo reference.

Before I go any further I would like some feedback.



Thanks to Manik Monkei for talking me into posting.

[samdragon]

The scale is being thrown off by the trees on the right. at least in this stage of the image it is. If you cover the right part of the image up, the left looks like a pumpkin patch.
I'm guessing those are huts, if they are then they should get smaller as they go back into the distance. The value will also change. You also have a very white sun, that is casting yellow light, maybe if it was filtering through some clouds or lower on the horizon it would give that effect.

You may want to rethink the foliage/grass in the foreground, it's boxing in your image and also messing up your proportions.

Great clouds!
I hope you continue with this image and keep showing us how it's going on along.
good luck!


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VISIT SAMDRAGON'S HOME

[Andromeda]

Eerrrr .. yah .. what SAMDRAGON said.
(damn i hate when i cant get to critique first hehehehhe)

[Rinaldo]

Hey that's a nice sketch.

To my mind it lacks contrast in the brushstrokes. there are a lot of small strokes, what you need is a few solid areas of colour to offset the "scratchy" feel. just use a larger brush for a few of the strokes. Contrast is an important part of drawing, it makes the viewer interested.
The light sourcing also seems to be off shadows are being cast by the huts (?) in the wrong direction.

I like the colours you used, and the values are pretty good.

Keep it up:)

[pimento]

Wow you guys posted fast! Yes those are huts

Here is an updated image. Right now it's a little blurry, but I reduced the size of the trees on the right and increased the contrast a bit especially on the huts. I think I may have to bring the clouds up a bit.




Oh and here is a little flash thing I did with those clouds http://marooned.dryland.net


Thanks again. I'll post more as the painting progresses.

[This message has been edited by pimento (edited June 27, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by pimento (edited June 27, 2000).]

[sydneyshan]

You've created a lot more atmosphere and depth with the second painting- very good!

Almost looks like you've used chalk there.

Looking forward to more paintings by you in the future!

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Shannon Murdoch
www.bounce.to/shan

[Nex]

Hi

what bugs me a bit is the composition.

You drew the trees too far right to get a relaxed feeling in the viewers eye (because you are beyond the "golden" dividing point (about 2/3) )

I think you could check out the composition threads that samdragon and fred posted, they will help you.

Else this is really good, just don't blur it too much.

Cya

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- Nex

http://on.to/nex

[samdragon]

Great to see you made some changes. It's coming along nicely.

You need to think where you want the viewer's eye to move. I think that once that ridge on the right becomes more visable that will help your composition alot more, by giving the viewer a "hand rail" into the distance.

[AliasMoze]

Pimento,
I like where you're going with this. Composition aside, here's a few suggestions:

1) Values -- The values of the planes of the buildings facing away from the sun should be much darker.

2) Saturation -- things tend to look less saturated as they move away (because of the atmosphere).

The shapes in the distance in your image should be much more greyed out. The grass in the foreground should be much more intense and saturated. This will create allot of depth in your piece.

3) Color -- with a warm light source (like the sun), you should have cool shadows. That is, the shadow color drifts toward blue. They don't have to BE blue, just cool. Generally, warm light-cool shadows, cool light-warm shadows.



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AliasMoze
:) :) :) :)
"That activates my hilarity unit."

[pimento]

Ok another update...it has changed quite a bit this time



Suggestions?



[This message has been edited by pimento (edited June 28, 2000).]