Sijun Forums :: View topic - My newest project. Crit from EVERYONE please.

StormVermin · member Member # Joined: 13 May 2000 Posts: 252

This is a pic I am doing for class. It's of the Crusades... well MY crusades and how I see 'em.

The only thing I have been working on so far is the guy...
check it out.
http://svgames.homepage.com/crusades.jpg
(if it looks like http://svgames.homepage.com/crusades.jpg/ NOT ICE THE "/" AT THE END. Get rid of it, it wont load if its there.)

Thanks guys,
-Adam

Grift · Posted: Wed May 24, 2000 2:29 pm

Big improvement over the first pieces coloring in my opinion--you seem to have more of a grasp of flat-shading so far--perhaps you should go with that for a while until you get pretty good at it.. and then start smudging..

As far as the rendering of the scene.. the titling seems a little goofy to me.. but other than that it's not too bad.. The figure is allright aside from some anatomical complaints.. the head almost seems a bit lopsided--needs some work.

Keep working on it.. but when you have an update how about posting it in this thread instead of making 100 more :P

Grift^

Mozeman · member Member # Joined: 07 May 2000 Posts: 217

Why did you start coloring this thing? It needs quite a bit of work.

The environment is nonexistent. The perspective is different for each object you have in the picture. Why is the angle looking down? Don't you want to convey grandure? I would try a lower angle.

The character, other than being far too crude, needs work anatomically, his pose is too symmetrical, and his costume is (I'm guessing) not exactly accurate to the period. You might want to research images, paintings, and facts about that era. Also, his legs are cut out of the frame for some reason.

The title doesn't belong there. The catapult has no structure at all, even the wheels don't match perspective. And the sword needs some reason to be there.

But that's just my opinion.

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Mozeman
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[email protected]
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"I like it rough..."

Grift · Posted: Wed May 24, 2000 3:31 pm

I pretty much agree with everything Mozeman had to say.. an image like this is trying to tell a story.. and you're not achieving that like this. Perhaps you may want to pick up an anatomy book as well.. and really focus on learning the human form.

Also, you're sense of composition is sorta dull in this piece.. there doesn't seem to be a reason for the placement of any of the objects in the picture. I dunno.. I think that you're improving--you should keep at it. Don't let this be a discurragement.

I often use my own low self asteam as an artist as the driving force that makes me learn... ehe..

Grift^

Mozeman · member Member # Joined: 07 May 2000 Posts: 217

StormVermin's subject matter seemed very cinematic, so I worked up a sketch with how I might approach it.

Fire away.

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Mozeman
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[email protected]
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"I like it rough..."

[This message has been edited by Mozeman (edited May 24, 2000).]

StormVermin · member Member # Joined: 13 May 2000 Posts: 252

Mozeman, thanks... (to all)

Anyway, the pic itself was done in a matter of 15 minutes so I am not concerning myself with angle and perspective.... the catapult isn't even going to be in the final picture. I am trying to make it look as though it is windy... so his beard, cape, and the chain on his sword go with the wind. As for his costume, I think I stated it's how I see the Crusades... so that's why it's inaccurate. It's just a fun pic I am doing. Ya, I love flat shading... blending is nice too but that's later on.

The pic is ment to look cartoon'ish in a sense. But the scene is to have him look glorified.

Thoughts?

AliasMoze · Posted: Thu May 25, 2000 5:44 am

Why'd you waste your time, Mozeman. StormVermin obviously meant for his pic to be inaccurate. Yeah, that's the ticket...

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"That activates my hilarity unit."

Mozeman · member Member # Joined: 07 May 2000 Posts: 217

Cartoonish? 15 minutes? Fun? Not concerned with angle or perspective?

These sound like excuses. I don't mean to be harsh, but you post your pics here for a reason. If it's not feedback and criticism then what is it? And if your pic is not meant to be critiqued or if it's not ready, then don't post it.

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Mozeman
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[email protected]
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"I like it rough..."

Spitfire · Posted: Thu May 25, 2000 7:21 am

Easy guys... it's just a fun doodle. Dont got postal on him ' cause he's not paying attention to every detail..

Spitfire · Posted: Thu May 25, 2000 7:40 am

Easy guys... it's just a fun doodle. Dont got postal on him ' cause he's not paying attention to every detail..

IKhelix · Posted: Thu May 25, 2000 7:56 am

Hah! "Crit from EVERYONE please" eh?

Well, nyer nyer! No critique from me! Hah!

Actually I don't really have any opinions, but that's not the point.

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"I don't suffer insanity, I enjoy every moment of it..."
www.skittish.com

Lange_Pisang · Posted: Thu May 25, 2000 8:02 am

Ai!

This going to be just like a Jerry Springer show...

STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE!...
(Steve's getting shy..., Jerry laughs at him)

>Stormvermin, try not to make SUCH excuses...
>Other people, can't we try to be less harsh? Hmm? Deal?

HumanClay · Guest Member #

StormVermin is a "highly skilled artist" according to one of his first posts on this board..

He doesn't even need our help.

Slicer · Posted: Thu May 25, 2000 8:26 am

Well if I would say something about this pictures is that the light on his chest-muscles are weird if you look at all the other thing were the light seems to fall from the top left.
This is coming from a guy who doesn�t even have a good handwriting =)

micke · Posted: Thu May 25, 2000 1:16 pm

Here's some things i would like to comment:

First of all i think it's flat, even though it's shaded the shapes and forms makes it look flat. Make sure the basic shapes are good before you start colouring. You'll
save yourself a lot of work and the result will turn out to be better. Maybe study some photographs, that'll help most times. Also the colours are a bit off, they don't match good together.Study photographs or yourself in the mirror and look at your skintones, try to see all the different colours that your skin colours consists off.it's not only one. The background need as much attention as the main motive, plan it before moving on
with the colouring. I'm not good at backgrounds myself. Also decide what kind of lightsetting you wan't for your picture, and
let it affect the character and the enviroment around.

Hope this can be to any help

-Mikael

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-Mikael Noguchi-

http://www.katode.org/noguchi/

StormVermin · member Member # Joined: 13 May 2000 Posts: 252

Why is it that every post I do someone quotes my first post? Obviously I made a mistake... I have also stated that in a seperate quote.

Anyway, Mozeman's picture that he has drawn helped a lot. I went through and sketched it again and am trying to 'incorporate' some other techniques into it.

One, the title is DEFINATELY not the set one. I mean, it's on an angle, the font is more 'future' than 'past' looking and it's down right 'blah!'. Heh, but yes, every critisism I get goes into account. Like I said, it is going for the cartoony look... so someone like 'g:tech' may be able to help a lot since his drawings are more aimed in that direction.

I guess I should tell what I am looking for people's opinion in.

Wind - the pic should look windy... throwing his beard on an angle and his cape to the left of him is a start. Things I can think of are, blowing leaves, tall grass to his left, branches moving to the left. Etc, sound good?

Now, I know it looks flatshaded... but this is my second digi-art pic I have done. (Have been sketching, finalizing, painting, etc since I was 7 or 8, can't remember.) BUt I am not here to prove anyone wrong or make enemies.

Seems as though I mess up on just about every post I make.

-Adam Bromell

Moose · Posted: Thu May 25, 2000 1:31 pm

it is real flat in the...whole thing. i dont know if this is what you were going for..... Now i dont know too much about the crusades, or history if it isnt roman, but I was always under the impressiont he crusades had a lot of mean ass soldiers...and wouldnt they be wearing more armor?

Sorry man, but this seems more like a Marvel/DC type crusade. Is that what YOUR invision of the crusades are?

keep workin...

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http://www.geocities.com/mountainiii

[This message has been edited by Moose (edited May 25, 2000).]

Moose · Posted: Thu May 25, 2000 1:45 pm

doh. dont i feel like an ass.......
now i get it. ok.

what if for the colors, if you used something other than teh natural hue blue and green in the sky and ground? the colors kinda wore on my eyes.

AliasMoze · Posted: Thu May 25, 2000 11:32 pm

Lange,
I'm not being harsh. StormVermin specically asked for critiques from EVERYBODY. People take their time to examine the image and give feedback. Mozeman even went as far as to sketch up an alternative for StormVermin. After all that, Storm remarks that this is just a quick sketch, that he's not worried about accuracy, etc. If that's the case, then he shouldn't ask for our time.