[Awetopsy]

MAN!

It's been a while since I posted art here.

to be honest Im not sure whats wrong. I just stopped. I stopped drawing. I somehow lost the drive to draw. Its almost like something got in the way that I cant get around.

I want to draw, dont get me wrong. I love doing it. It's like an addiction and I havent had a hit for ages.

Once in a while I get a spark and Ill draw 1 picture and then that will be it for months.

But it's been like this for a couple years now.

Do any of you know what Im talking about?

[Tzan]

Yup

Its the same thing with me. I think I did 1 or 2 things last year and nothing this year. I have ideas. I save paper sketches of neat things but never do them.

Oh well.

[gLitterbug]

Happens to me in a lot of areas of life.

I have no remedy thus far though. When I actually start to do whatever, I love it and forget about time and all, but it's a goddamn drama to get me to start something and actually keep at it. If there's one tiny slump, I have to climb a damn mountain again to get me moving.

Tell me once you found some wonder pill against that.

[Affected]

I find it helps to have stress and things that need doing that you can avoid thinking about by doing personal work. Also even if there isn't much stress involved, I find having some kind of more regimented activity at the beginning of the day helps. I do freelance work here and there, and it seems the days I'm working on some project, afterwards it's much easier to just keep going with my own stuff, whereas on days when I don't really have to do anything, I probably won't, either.

[The Insane Lemur]

affected is rigt- alot of times i think it involves getting our priorities mixed up, and follow our feelings rather than what we know is right and really important (the feeling to lay around usually for me overwhelms the feeling to draw) so its good to get used to discomfort because that is what you'll face by doing the right thing- maybe take a freezing cold shower, exercise- set up a machine that shocks you till you draw-listen to that pink floyd song "time", that'll scare you enough hopefully.

maybe do easy things first aswell, so you dnt fail and go running back to the comfortable place- did anybody read "the phantom tollbooth" the doldrums are a very real place!

[Max Ostap]

My art history professor told me once that unless you grow suicidal from not doing art you should do something else with your life. Its a little extreme, but moral is you either have to do it or you simply don't enjoy life. I know its true for me. Doing it on the side for myself just isn't gonna cut it. I tried.

If you are happy not doing it every waking hour of your life then who gives a shit? Go make money, raise family, travel, surf, bike, play video games... that's what i would do. But unfortunately there isn't anything out there that matches the fulfillment of a finished drawing or painting or a design project.

[[Shizo]]

I haven't drawn anything for years. Many years.
I don't even know what keeps me coming back to this forum, must be the people..
I only visit the Random Musings section too!

die.

[elam]

No matter how much you love something( or think you do ), it will at some point become boring/tiresome. This is true of a hobby, job, wife, etc. Anything.

I think the key is to maintain your interest and motivation, even if it's only incremental and for art that's actually making it, every day. I try to draw/paint for at least 30 minutes a day, but it's usually a lot more than that. But for the times when I just don't feel like it, I simply do a non-thinking exercise(gestures, color wheel, simple perspective, etc), and then move on.

I think if you simply can maintain your skills, the interest and passion will come back eventually, and then it becomes *much* easier to pursue it because your skills haven't atrophied so much. It's extremely frustrating to have the flame reignite and then go draw like shit or not be able to accurately express what you want.

[[Shizo]]

elam, well put!

It's the ultimate truth.

[Max]

Check out brookers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc7JTK3r6qw&feature=channel_page

[Anthony]

I've lost it incrementally over the past 4 years, once I joined my current job. Before that I was just a freelance artist doing art and design work each and every day. Now I do tedious flash stuff (not artistic, trust me) and manage and do scripting for a small college's online program. That's how I lost it (plus this forum kinda died and that finished the job).
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[Returner]

Try some lifedrawing awetopsy. Some long croqui poses. It's a real thrill when you get in the "zone" and you're able to draw what you see. Do that a couple of times and then you can maybe do some plen airs if you wan't something more. You'll keep improving that way and you'll see it in your computer work.

[Lunatique]

Perhaps plan an on-going project? Maybe a series of artworks with a theme? Write a story with a premise that will get you excited--the kind of stuff you're a big fan of. Do concept paintings for that story. Develop an IP of your own. Do a graphic novel.

For me, the actual drawing/painting itself really isn't what I enjoy--at least not anymore. What gets me excited is the storytelling. That's what I live for (besides music, of course).

[eyewoo]

Paint traditionally with oil paint... a whole new set of skills are required that can be applied to your visions... If cost is a problem, start off with monochromatic painting and use a great medium like Graham's walnut/alkyd medium. Do get a few really good brushes.

One of the odd ways I view drawing is as something that will eventually be totally hidden by oil paint... Not sure how that helps, but perhaps...
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[cheney]

A couple of years ago my focus changed from art to web standards research to programming linguistics, so my motivations may not be parallel.

I have found that I am more motivated to be independently creative when I am solving real problems with a solution as a product. I tend to work harder when I know the work that I am attempting to create results in something that other people find useful. A couple of months ago I created a tool that can diff between minified code and expanded code accurately and instantly. People at my office found this to be useful as it solve many internal problems of asset management. Since the tool was useful and well praised I put serious effort into continued development until I created a scheme to minify markup free from introducing errors and beautify markup without adding or removing visible white space. This enhancement was not necessary and may not ever be used, but because I thought it was important and because my work was beneficial utility I was motivated to create more.

Sometimes this can be horribly frustrating as if I get too far ahead of the rest of the world with unique ideas that are far fetched. Two years ago as of yesterday I put my hands on the keyboard and began writing a new computer language that I thought would radically revolutionize the entire application layer of the internet. Nobody really thought this would go anywhere because the idea is completely over the top ambitious and far fetched. Nobody thought the language had any use because they hard trouble seeing the problems or solutions that I felt were obvious and debilitating. I was motivated because that I thought, no I KNEW I my ideas were correct and beneficial. As a result no matter how long I was alone in my thinking I never gave up. I was patient and continually dedicated to finish work on completing this new computer language.

About a year and a half after the inception of my language I was given the opportunity to pitch the ideas behind my language to the senior executives at my company. This is a year and half of almost nobody listening to, caring for, or understanding my ideas. Essentially I was alone in my thinking unless I could force somebody into a corner and force them to listen for minutes on end. My company is a large and respected computer/data company with more than 30 years of history. In that time my company has gone through lay offs only twice, of which the second time was December 2008. So, I did not expect too much or set my sights too high as I knew money at my company was tight and projects were being repositioned or removed.

Because I know I am right with strong logical arguments, a completed product, and solutions to real world problems plaguing business and technology I was confident that I would do well no matter the outcome. I received unanimous support from the company to cover all legal fees to obtain outside counsel to draft a patent application. My little computer language now contains features that are patent pending and a host of other features listed as novelties outside of protection.

But, I still did not feel like my little computer language was successful. It is not solving any problems if it is not being used. I got my company to listen to me, but outside my company I still could not get anybody else to listen to my silly ideas. Still I was motivated, because I knew I held something creative that was useful to other people. Lucky for me I discovered that I went to chruch with somebody who provides support for servers that would benefit from my computer language for a large company known for its user agents. Even more lucky for me is that he told me he was going to have to move soon, because he was just promoted to project management position management a group of developers at the company headquarters.

I put together a business proposal to send to my church friend how my little computer language solve problems associated with business on the web in the short term and in the longer term could significantly reposition market share on the web for a certain class of business strategies. I knew my little computer language could be useful to large companies saving them money by solving problems with the web where those solutions are not practical on the web. Because I knew my little creative effort was useful I was motivated.

I am in Afghanistan now far away from much of the world of internet related businesses and far away from my own company. Shortly after arriving here I discovered I had received an email from my church friend who was now happily engaged in his new position at his company. He was happy to tell me that several development teams in his company were evaluating my little computer language. I have no idea if it will actually be adopted, and at the moment I am far separated from these concerns. Because I feel I have been continually motivated, dedicated, and patient for a long time that I can continue to be patient. So far my little creative effort has made it farther than I ever thought it would. I would be thrilled to see it in use and see it adopted, but I can only wait and see.

I remain motivated and believe in the little language I created. I spent a couple hundred hours in between busy office hours, long commutes, and time with my kids to see this through. I worked on the language, and rewrote it a couple of times because I was motivated to get it right. I continually reviewed it looking for potential conflicts. I thought about how it should work while driving to work, while sleeping, or while driving to my second job. I was motivated and much of my effort was spent not writing code but brainstorming any moment that I had idle time. Because I was motivated I was supremely focused in those spare pockets of time between responsibilities of daily life.

Since I have been in Afghanistan I am reading a fair number of novels. I have been here nearly three months and have only read 7 or 8 so far. I look at what drives the ambitions of the characters I read about, and try to imagine the motivations of these award winning authors. I look at these creative works and try to think of them as utilities that offer me wisdom to problem solving complex problems of situational management or persuasive communication to inspire other people so that my ideas more easily heard in the future.

As a prior design artist and illustration admirer I often look at art as a useful utility. Art that expresses unique ideas, original concepts, or incredible techniques are utilities that inspire imagination. There is no force greater than an original imagination. I find such art gems to be completely useful utilities. Unfortunately, I do not often express my joy to the artist who often needs this positive feedback for their own motivation. I hope that any artist who works long hard hours to create that rare gem is completely aware that their work does motivate others even that motivation is not expressed to the artist. In my opinion that potential social benefit should be motivation enough to any creative person who is dedicated to completing the best possible work. Please stay motivated even if you believe you have no reason to for the sake of the rest of us.
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[Lunatique]

cheney - That was a very interesting story. I think people are motivated by different reasons that appeal to their personality and values. Some are motivated by the possibility of contributing to the greater good of mankind, some are motivated by personal expression, some are after escapism, and there's also more practical motivations like fortune and fame. In the music software world, there are tons of people creating software sythesizers, drum machines, sequencers, sample libraries, effects...etc and giving them away for free, and we see the same thing in other kinds of software all over the place. Many of them are so good that they could easily be successful commercial products, but their creators prefer to give them away. For them, seeing others benefiting from their creations is rewarding enough.

I have always said that being a fan for many is a happier existence than being a creative talent. Fans get to be inspired and immersed in the worlds created by others, and they also get to satisfy that collector's urge. They don't ever have to go through the kind of frustration, anguish, self-loathing, insecurity, longing, disappointment, depression, pressure...etc that creative talents often deal with throughout their creative journey. But at the same time, the joy of creating is something they'll never experience, and that joy is what drives people like us, despite the struggles that come with the joy.

Even though I currently no longer have the pressure of having to make a living, as our investments in China allows us to live a comfortable life, I still create every single day. I have inside me fascinating imaginary worlds of images, sound, stories...etc that I want to share with others, and these worlds are just as intoxicating to me as the worlds I enjoy immersing myself in as a fan of other people's imagination. I have always known since I was young that my destiny is not to be some xxx-for-hire, but to tell my own stories on my own terms. Working in games or animation as an artist or composer never satisfied me, because I was always playing with other people's toys. Now I can concentrate on my own intellectual properties, and I firmly believe that's my destiny. It's the only time when I'm truly happy creating. I felt that joy when I was writing/illustrating my own comic book in the 90's, and right now I'm planning a multimedia project where I combine art, writing, and music to tell the stories I have always wanted to tell.

I'm not willing to allow myself to be caught in a situation where I have to depend on others to get my vision realized. My short film suffered that fate when the funding for it fell through. I have an awesome idea for a MMORPG that will probably never see the light of day because it also requires funding. I also didn't particularly like scoring other people's films and games since often they get to dictate the end result, and what they want often runs contrary to what makes good music. So at this point in my life, I'm no longer willing to depend on others to get something done. I will do it all myself, as I'm the only person I could always depend on, and no one will give a shit more than I do about my projects. When I finish something, I'll either just throw it out there for free, or I might approach publishers, but either way, I will not compromise and I will do it all on my own terms. I don't need to make a living with my creativity right now so I have leverage. I will not be corrupted or forced to do something I don't want for money. I've been a commercial artist and musician for all these years and it's time I stopped catering to other people's needs and concentrate on my own needs.

[The Insane Lemur]

as far as motivation goes I think blockage really comes from fear-whether it be fear of failure, of feeling stupid, sometimes even fear of success (its great to get the sympathy for being a starving artist huh? or maybe taking up responsibility that comes with success can be scary) and we become tortured because this fear prevents us from doing what we really love, be it learning, creating, living in the moment or whatever. Anyways, I think enthusiasm and love of the art aren't just feelings, but best lived as verbs-having fun they call it, so my personal rule is if im not smiling or laughing im doing it wrong! (and when i cant, it means im taking myself more seriously than the work, that equals a big trainwreck!)

then theres the key of process over output, doing it for the finished product is something for the ego, not the soul, and restricts ideas to a backwards way.

[Lunatique]

[Tzan]

[Sumaleth]

I seem to be following a similar path to some of you guys. Not entirely intentionally, but I've slowly moved from working in large teams to now working entirely by myself.

I enjoyed working in teams and have liked all the people I've worked with, but it always seems to be at the expense of directional control or mutual understanding or creative input or something. And in recent years I've been most inspired by one-man projects like Cave Story, Fantastic Contraptions, and Braid.

So earlier this year I sold my businesses when the opportunity came up and I decided to risk my savings and go on as a solo iPhone developer.

Unfortunately, at exactly the same time I got hit with the bane of computer users; RSI. I've barely been able to use a computer since the end of April.

The only up side has been the ridiculous excess of time I've had to read up on advanced mathematics, OpenGL, and iPhone programming. All the things I need to hit the ground running whenever (and seemingly if-ever the time comes. I hope working by myself turns out to be fulfilling.
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[Tzan]

RSI yikes, Hope that clears up soon.


Unity has an iPhone version.
Several top listed games have used it. I'm not planning on an iPhone product so I havent looked into it. There are some severe restrictions on that platform and I would need new glasses just to see that small

[Sumaleth]

I looked at Unity back when I started research for the game, and seriously considered using it. The fee isn't too bad. But in the end I decided that I'd be better served by building my own engine from scratch. I have long-term professional aims for the game industry.

The limitations of the iPhone are what attracts me to it. I grew up on the Commodore 64 and that machine was all about restrictions (the "64" refers to the 64 kilobytes of memory it had) and making games was just so much more fun back then. These days, with modern desktop technology, you need teams of 100-300 people to really push them, and each person has to do one task for two or three solid years. There's no fun in that. On the iPhone, one person gets to be designer/coder/artist/musician, and still release something fun in just a few months.

And distribution is all handled for you, with iTunes being the only outlet.

The one downside is going to be marketing. Apparently, if you don't stay in the top 100 on iTunes for the first few days of release then you probably won't make back dev costs.

My plan is to make the Best Game Ever and hope that's enough.
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[Jabo]

Drop me a line when you're reaching marketing and advertising, I'm looking into iPhone Development too right now (well, will do in the near future, with the same attraction to the restrictions and possibilities that you call).
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