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Author   Topic : "Excerpts from the worst date ever"
balistic
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Joined: 01 Jun 2000
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Location: Reno, NV, USA

PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 9:55 am     Reply with quote
I've been out of the social loop for over a year because of some health problems, but I don't know if it's just that spring is in the air, or what . . . I need a girl. Bad. I'm like, climbing the walls over here.

So I go out with this Belgian chick from Myspace (I know, I know . . .) last sunday. Her page made her look slightly ditzy and high-maintenance, but we seemed to have a really good rapport on the phone, so we decided to get together. These are some of the things she said in conversation:

Quote:
"You know, I really respect Paris Hilton."

"an engagement ring smaller than five carats is just tacky!"

"I have to marry someone my parents approve of because I do not want to get written out of the will."

"I've been begging my daddy to buy me a Mercedes convertible."

"I'm sorry, but I would never raise my children in the US. They will go to boarding school in Europe."


GYIAGYU^RSUTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
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Ranath
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Joined: 02 Apr 2004
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Location: Helsinki, Finland

PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 10:02 am     Reply with quote
did you hear of the guy who accidentally dated his mom? He set up a meeting with a girl over internet, and when they actually met, he realized that his date was his mom... Rolling Eyes
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[Shizo]
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Joined: 22 Oct 1999
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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 10:49 am     Reply with quote
GAHAHAHHA!!!! COOL DATE!

Get IN get OUT, just like you planned, balistic Very Happy

OR. Save up enough cash for a 6 carat engagement ring and marry her. Then after you get all of her daddy's money, GET OUT. Very Happy
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lysander
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Joined: 25 May 2005
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Location: the spoon factory

PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 11:17 am     Reply with quote
myspace?!!

I feel dirty whenever I use that internet hellportal Twisted Evil
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Nilwort
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Joined: 26 Jan 2002
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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 12:12 pm     Reply with quote
balistic wrote:
Her page made her look slightly ditzy and high-maintenance


BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahhaaahaahh!!!!!!!....ahhhh.....

*cries*
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Giant Hamster
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Joined: 22 Oct 1999
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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:13 pm     Reply with quote
A true winner.

I hope you throat-fucked her blind.
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Gort
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Joined: 09 Oct 2001
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Location: Atlanta, GA

PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 7:13 pm     Reply with quote
Dude. That's a riot. Really, though, run away.
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Lunatique
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Joined: 27 Jan 2001
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Location: Lincoln, California

PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 11:52 pm     Reply with quote
What was the reason you decided to even talk to her or go out if her Myspace presentation was negative?
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The Real Mark
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Joined: 13 Dec 2003
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Location: Brisbane Australia

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 1:01 am     Reply with quote
stage 5 clinger gold digger
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gLitterbug
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Joined: 13 Feb 2001
Posts: 1340
Location: Austria

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 3:41 am     Reply with quote
Lunatique wrote:
What was the reason you decided to even talk to her or go out if her Myspace presentation was negative?


My guess is her photo and his hormones.
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Diruo
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Joined: 02 Jan 2002
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Location: Sweden

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 4:31 am     Reply with quote
You need to share her url with us...
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balistic
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Joined: 01 Jun 2000
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Location: Reno, NV, USA

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 6:03 am     Reply with quote
Lunatique wrote:
What was the reason you decided to even talk to her or go out if her Myspace presentation was negative?


Dude.

Titties.

SO LONELY.
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[Shizo]
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 6:25 am     Reply with quote
URL!!!!!!!!!!!1
We iz lonely too! (and bored)
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Lunatique
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 7:14 am     Reply with quote
balistic wrote:

Dude.

Titties.

SO LONELY.


Well, at least you're doing something about it. Action is better than being passive.

Try getting into glamour photography. So many airhead wanabe models want "professional photos" of them but can't afford to pay--except in one way. Or, they are just plain horny a lot during photoshoots. Happens ALL the time. One Model Place. Garage Glamour. Model Mayhem. Take your pick. (Of course, this only applies to the airhead clueless ones--but they are abundant.)

When I was single, I used to date chicks I met from online personals. Worked fine for me. Beats wasting your life away at some bar or club. With personals you at least have an inkling of an idea what the person is like--or the image she tries to project, which still says a lot about someone.

If all you want is to get some, then maybe don't even bother with dating--just pay like men have done since the beginning of the civilization? Very Happy If you want more than just sex, then you do have to put up with a lot of BS to find the right person who won't piss you off everytime you have a conversation.

[Shizo] wrote:
URL!!!!!!!!!!!1
We iz lonely too! (and bored)


Don't you have a honey in Beijing?
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[Shizo]
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Joined: 22 Oct 1999
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 8:41 am     Reply with quote
Lunatique wrote:

[Shizo] wrote:
URL!!!!!!!!!!!1
We iz lonely too! (and bored)


Don't you have a honey in Beijing?

Ha, i don't see the connection between looking at Paris Hilton wannabe's website and my honey Very Happy
URLZ I TELLZ J99!!! N00!W
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faustgfx
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Joined: 15 Mar 2000
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Location: unfortunately, very near you.

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 9:24 am     Reply with quote
no expectations, no let-downs.

learn to become cold, it leads to a stable life!
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balistic
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Joined: 01 Jun 2000
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Location: Reno, NV, USA

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 9:37 am     Reply with quote
[Shizo] wrote:
URL!!!!!!!!!!!1
We iz lonely too! (and bored)


Ha. I only hesitate because I just know one of you jerks would contact her.

She didn't actually look like Paris Hilton. She's firmly in my league, in terms of attractiveness (although I'm sure she thinks she's a perfect 10).

I just want a nice, honest, weird-looking girl I can make weird-looking babies with Sad
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[Shizo]
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Joined: 22 Oct 1999
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 9:41 am     Reply with quote
Wow! faustgfx returns, plus balistic opens his inner soul.
DOUBLE WHAMMY! Very Happy

PS: I swear i won't contact the Paris Hilton wannabe!
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Lunatique
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Joined: 27 Jan 2001
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Location: Lincoln, California

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 10:11 am     Reply with quote
balistic wrote:

I just want a nice, honest, weird-looking girl I can make weird-looking babies with Sad


You know, that'd be a great headline for your personals ad. Very Happy

And don't listen to Jussi (hey man! How's it going?). Being cold and jaded is not the answer.

Remember when I first joined sijun like, five years ago? Everyone made fun of me because I was all starry-eyed and believed in soulmates and romance and all that sweet stuff. Well, turned out I'm the one who's now happily married to a beautiful woman who feels exactly the same way I do, and we couldn't be happier--even after four years of being together almost 24/7. I guess what I'm trying to say is, no one wants to be the mate of someone who's cold and jaded, so if you put out that kind of a vibe, your chances of finding true happiness is very slim.
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Naeem
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Joined: 13 Oct 2004
Posts: 1222
Location: USA

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 11:30 am     Reply with quote
Giant Hamster wrote:
A true winner.

I hope you throat-fucked her blind.


My favorite quote of the day.

good luck dude. as shizo said, jump for the 6 carrot ring if it's not in and out. hopefully it'll all smooth over to the way you want it. a close friend has been doing the myspace thing alot to get laid. now he's going out with some chick from there. it's funny, though, about the stories he tells me. how this girls teeth were really yellow in person, she blew smoke all over his face, and he was completley disgusted haha. but he said it saved him lots of money Very Happy
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Nilwort
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Joined: 26 Jan 2002
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 6:28 pm     Reply with quote
Bah, I don't belong here.

Last edited by Nilwort on Sat May 06, 2006 2:36 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Jimmyjimjim
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Joined: 12 Dec 2002
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 8:52 pm     Reply with quote
So.................................
You're not gonna give us the link to her myspace page so we can examine the evidence? Confused
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[Shizo]
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 10:45 pm     Reply with quote
We MUST examine the evidence! Twisted Evil
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balistic
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Joined: 01 Jun 2000
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Location: Reno, NV, USA

PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2006 6:53 am     Reply with quote
NO!

Although I'm sure Giant Hamster is going through all the women who've left comments on my profile ...
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Lunatique
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PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2006 7:06 am     Reply with quote
balistic wrote:
women who've left comments on my profile ...


sneaky bastard Wink
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Giant Hamster
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PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2006 10:41 am     Reply with quote
Wink

boom tisk boom tisk boom tisk

SHE'S NOT THERE. That filthy Balistic.
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balistic
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Joined: 01 Jun 2000
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Location: Reno, NV, USA

PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2006 1:07 pm     Reply with quote
Giant Hamster wrote:
Wink

boom tisk boom tisk boom tisk

SHE'S NOT THERE. That filthy Balistic.


Actually she is. But which one?! *wrings hands maniacally*
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Rolando.
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PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2006 3:27 pm     Reply with quote
OMG some of those quotes are just terrible (well, actualy, all of them!) ... fortunately all the girls are'nt here in Belgium Laughing

balistic wrote:

Actually she is. But which one?! *wrings hands maniacally*

Maybe should we follow the pink rabit? Very Happy
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Jimmyjimjim
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Joined: 12 Dec 2002
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PostPosted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:08 am     Reply with quote
What I learned when I tried to find Ballastic's myspace page:

A) I suck at finding anything on the internet.

B) I have a myspace page that I have ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION of making.
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Domino Harvey
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Joined: 19 Mar 2006
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Location: Winnebago in the Nevada desert

PostPosted: Sun May 07, 2006 8:21 am     Reply with quote
Jimmyjimjim wrote:

B) I have a myspace page that I have ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION of making.


Don't we all?
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