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Capt. Fred · Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 2:01 pm

visualising a scene from book 'caves of steel' for a college project

haven't put the people in the bg yet or the guys mouth etc.

comp okay? the doorframe is too dominant? it's a public canteen thing.

it's deviated from my inital (very vague) conception, so I might do an overhaul and change the bg considerably. it's sort of ran out of my control

what are your thoughts and criticisms?

FallDamage · Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 2:04 pm

Good form and values; same comments on made on the speedy version of this. What I like about it is that it has that 'squint and it almost looks real' quality that tells you you're ont he right track. Nice.

Capt. Fred · Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 2:10 pm

thanks loads!

i think i've gone down a dead end, though.
I'll might have do some sketches and figure a new way to proceed so I end up with something relevant :(

vidghost · Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 6:01 pm

The colours of the background mix's in real well and make the person stand out .....very good lighting not overdrawn.

Thumbs up! ^_^

MCMA · Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 9:58 pm

I like. I'm thinking more signs of life / activity and it will really come together, but you're already on to that. I think it will explain more about the scene. He's a little hard to figure out at the moment. Is he afraid, reluctant, hesitating or is he plotting something really evil about to happen.
Composition is cool and the eye wanders around but there's not that much to look at yet apart from the great light and background of course Smile

Well worth developing this one I think.
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Capt. Fred · Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 6:55 am

thankyou very much.

since al they eat is products of yeast made in large factories by chemists, it's more like a train station than a regular canteen. they just check in with their tickets and are given a table-number. the table itself serves the food.
Adding a million people will be a nightmare I'm not good enough at drawing people to just draw in some shapes real quick, So i'll have to battle it out with the background.

any thoughts on the changed bg?

cheney · Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 7:09 am

That reminds me totally of the train station at Munich.
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see · Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 7:12 am

Capt. Fred thats really well done! I love it. People in the background would fit perfectly so i agree with MCMA.
You should try it !

matter · member Member # Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Posts: 82 Location: ny

i have two problems with the doorframe: its floating in the middle of "nowhere," and it visually pushes everything else back, since the figure's skintone is directly shared with the warm background.. id suggest adding another compositional element, say another doorframe on the other side in the same level of space, and/or working the background/doorframe colors to push it back.. my 2 cents! i do like how the figure relates to the background, just cuz it makes a warm n enviting atmosphere.. dunno what ur intention is

-matt
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Capt. Fred · Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:37 am

see thanks! definately going to add the people, even if it makes it look worse, becuase it's got to be a busy public place to make it relevant to my project.

matter- great observation, thank you! will think about how best to address that when I get back to bristol

cheney · Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:51 am

Here are my thoughts:

1) Alot of finishing detail should be giving to the lit skywalk in the upper right of the image as this is very interesting structurally.

2) There was a similar such area in the original background. The shaded area in the orignal background looked like a kiosk or large restaurant's seating area, and this could also be structurally interesting if there is minor chacter activity happening in these background areas. In the new background it looks like this seating foyer was replaced by a small office ATMS.

3) Also, in the original background, the left section looks like a sort of tunnel or travel terminal, and this is also structurally interesting as we wonder subconsciencely where this path goes into the building rather than merely going outside.

4) Do forget the details of the window framing in the large right window. In the train terminal at Munich there is a large commercial title spelled out for Grundig. It was very hard to miss. This was not very interesting, but it was more interesting than nothing at all as an added detail. Vines, rust, mold, or some other organic textural growth would look fascinating to the eye.

5) It might look pretty cool if there were some sort of lighted guildes or safety markers on the ground. Low artifical lighting coming from the ground would be some cool eye candy as long as it does not over power any of your texture detailing or more significant lighting. This should be low intensity and medium ambience if the floor areas are pretty dark.

6) Don't forget to reflect the background ambient lighting off the character's face as edge lighting. The character's face is going to be the focus of this image for sure, so it would be really awesome to your composition if the character's face leads into the rest of the image.

This is all I can think of at the moment.
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Capt. Fred · Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 5:43 pm

alright
I spent so long trying to get the background people to look okay, which they dont, that haven't yet changed the doorframe and etc.

Sumaleth · Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 5:49 pm

That looks great, Fred. I like the impressionist style of the background.

But the guy's left eye (on our right) looks a bit odd to me. Like it's coming out or its socket or something.
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cheney · Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 7:07 pm

All your background people look fantastic to me except for one group. The group that is in the lit office in the center are too large. They do not fit the perspective scale of the other background people.
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Odds · member Member # Joined: 17 Sep 2004 Posts: 374

simply incredible. the whole color scheme is so realistic, great job! i do agree with Sumaleth on this one, though. HIS left eye seems to be a little funky. i think it might be a little too far to HIS left; try pushing it further towards his nose. also, it seems to be a tad bit elongated (horizontally). keep up the good work.

Capt. Fred · Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 11:42 pm

in a rush but thanks guys and thanks for those observations!
must go!

Max · Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 4:53 am

wow, the bg people are indeed amazing. awesome work, especially with the light. great!!

Ragnarok · Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 10:46 pm

I think it looks good =)
And it reminds me of the Munich station too
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Capt. Fred · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 5:22 am

cheney, yes, i'll definetely fix that, I was wondering aobut those guys, but now you've said it I'll shrink 'em some.

and the eye� we'll see

max and ragnarok thanks. munich station eh? would've made a good ref.

having real difficulty with the guy inside sort of 'under' the window reflection here.
really tricky to work on. should've used another layer.

see · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 6:11 am

People in the background truly have been absent. Is this correct english? Embarassed

Anyway good to see you have spent some more time on it! Now thats what i call a good composition.

Capt. Fred · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 7:11 am

Thanks see :)
absent? as in, not present? not sure I follow you but thanks all the same.

I showed the last one to my dad and he didn't notice the guy in the car, which was worrying, but helpful. anyone else only just realised now that I mention it?

balistic · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 7:18 am

Coming along nicely Fred. The character seems a little indistinct in places, compared to the cruspness of much of the background. Otherwise no useful critique from me.

And I think the background people look fine . . . get on that door frame and tighten up the guy a little and I think you're done.
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Pringle · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 7:54 am

Right on. It looks great.
A little touch up and its done, imo.
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Capt. Fred · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 1:43 pm

pringle balisitc, really appreciate it.
I'll work on the pic if I have time before Monday. before then I have to do this car one and another one.
what about this one? i get the impression it doesn't read well. Hard for me to tell.
Not enough time for drastic changes, but if there any half-measures that might help, let me know. maybe that green tint looks awful- I'm just tryna get the guy in the car to pop out more, without lighting up the whole insides of the car having to figure out the perspective and drawing in there.

Pringle · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 2:39 pm

I have some difficulty reading the image as a vehicle. Maybe if it had more visual clues, like a tyre or bumper? Another thing, I feel the radiator is too wide , maybe it would look better if it stopped before the headlights? Just my thoughts. Maybe a few well placed reflection highlights aswell.

Regarding the cafeteria image, which is really cool. I prefer the version without the crowd, they are well executed and all, but the version with the guy standing alone makes my imagination wander more, why is he there?
looks to me like he's on the run or something. The crowd version dosen't convey this as strong I believe.

Again, just my opinion -take it or leave it.
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The Real Mark · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 9:49 pm

Capt. Fred · Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 2:09 am

it's unanimous, then. the car pic suffers from a lack of context.
maybe I'll lengthen it out and add in bumper/road at bottom and some more head room. It's a futuristic car of course, which explains some of it, but still, it leaves you guessing - in a bad way.

I prefer the empty cafeteria too, but I think I gotta use the busy one.
one more pic and then I can fix up the other ones.
this is the other one which I'll have to fix up later as well, mainly the drawing of the running man is off:

Max · Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 2:30 am

Wow, this one shows a lot of emotion and dark atmosphere.
I really love it. The composition is excellent.
The movement of the guy adds life to the whole painting.
Very nice. Keep up the good work!

Affected · Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 3:31 am

The last one especially is very energetic, but is the foreground man's head a bit big?

Capt. Fred · Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 5:55 pm

here's the last of the four illustrations.
view of the 'spacer dome' through the city.

gratefully my college tutor recommends that I leave them less finished, for 'the gestural quality'. which saves time.

now onto fixing the man in the foreground, like you said affected.
his body is also not terribly convincing, though it'll be hard to improve because that's about as good as I go! I'll seek a good ref.

add more context to the car pic, possibly by extending it - play with running man - and in the cafeteria shrink the little men in the windows, and possibly adjust his eye - anything else? the deal with the doorframe is that it stands out too much?

thanks all, you've been really helpful.