[Rat]

I was bored in school. The grade 7s in my class had to do their FSA testing prelims, and the rest of my class had to be absolutely silent. I couldn't even go to the back of the room and fall asleep on the couch! No fair.

Well, anyway, I wrote this, having no inspiration for anything else. I called it "The Room":

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Death everywhere. I could hear the shrieks of anguish. The cruel laughter of the guards always followed. It echoed and rang down the long, cold corridors. It pierced my mind, reminding me of when they would come for me, dragging me up from the stone floor where I lay in constant agony, and hauling me into The Room.

No one had ever come out of The Room sane. Very few had even come out alive. Those that did died quickly. Nobody knew what was in The Room until they went in, and by that time it was too late.

I remember the day they came for me. The last man had only just finished screaming. I was led down the hallways. As we went, anotherman had just started screaming. "Motherrrrrr...." drifted unitelligably through my head. Somewhere closer, someone was muttering a prayer in some other language. Nothing from Kryll.

"Where are you taking me?" I rasped. My tongue felt like sandpaper grating across the roof of my mouth.

The guards ignored me. I guess they weren't supposed to answer questions.

We finally stopped at a metal door. It looked no different from the cell doors, except that it didn't have the slot at the bottom to push food through.

"Well, man," one of the guards growled, "say your farewels, 'cause this is your last night alive." His voice was gravelly and full of malice. His partner opened the door, and he pushed me into the room beyond.

When I finally got up and opened my eyes, I discovered that The Room, that fabled torture chamber, was merely an empty room. The only extraordinary thing about it was the whitewashed walls, which contrasted almost painfully with the bare stone walls in the rest of the place.

I waited. Nothing happened. While I was in The Room, I started getting slightly hungry, but that was all. Time seemed to drag on forever.

Finally, a door opened where there had previously only been seamless white wall. An old man stepped through. His hair was white and he was bent over, yet he gave an air of great strength.

He looked at me a while with his sharp blue eyes, and when he spoke, his voice rang out through the small room like a lone raven's cry over empty plains. "You are one of The Ones," he said. "Me and my people have been searching for your kind for hundreds of years."

"Wha-?" I asked. "My kind?"

"Yes. We were sent on a mission to destroy all of you." With that he raised his arms. There was a flash, and then I was floating aimlessly through time and space.

I eventually came upon this time and place where I saw someone that I knew. My body was left behind. It was dead. But my soul had one final task before it could rest. That task was to find you, my past self, and warn you about what was going to happen. I can only pray that you can avoid capture.

Goodbye.

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This is the first time I'll have let anyone but fellow writers and Coaster read stuff I've written (besides anyone who came across my Epilogue and Elfwood story galleries).

So, what'd you think?

[Coaster]

Hmm thats odd, for once school offered inspiration...

[the_monkey]

youre in grade 7?

[Rat]

8, actually. In a split 6/7/8 class. The fact that it's Montessori makes it even worse.

[[666]Flat]

your happy pills are awaiting you

[wayfinder]

hey, that was pretty good, I liked the turn the end. It certainly has an aura of dread...

I don't have the time nor the abilty (at least not in english), but you've inspired me to a story idea with this. now, i could write it in german, but i doubt that most of the people here would be able to appreciate that

thanks for sharing!

[a_sh]

my english isn't very good, so i can't give you any crits on the grammars and such... however, i can give you crits on the feel of the story

it was really good! right from the first line it held my interest. that's quite imressive seeing as i have an extremely short patience with that kind of stuff

although i must say that i couldn't quite keep up with the action in the end...

"we have been searching for you!"

"cool!"

"now you die!!!!"

[here i excpected some miraculous excape..."

"ouchh, now i'm dead..."

{that was NOT what i expected...]

hmm... i guess i should say something smart now, but i can't come up with something so i'll just say

"great story! i'd like to read the rest of it!"

[travis travis]

a highschool yearbook qoute -

"take creative young minds and make them sit in hard chairs and stare at blank walls for 4 years? bad."

along the lines of your story I think