[eyewoo]

I've been posting artwork for a children's picture book that I've written and have illustrated. Recently I managed to get an agent interested in taking it on. She has sent it to a number of publishers - Harper Collins, Penguin, Abrams, Random House, Disney, Scholastic, Candlewick Press, to name a few. The responses (I've read them) indicate that they all know her well and repsect her, but each has rejected the manuscript and illustrations. What took me by surprise is the reason had more to do with the art than the story. They liked the story... they thought the art was not right. hmmm... humbling!!!

So, in discussing this with my agent over a nice lunch outside of NYC, we decided I should try again with a new style. Below are pages 4 and 5 in the old and the new. What do you think... The first is the old and the second is the new.





I'm also changing the story just a bit, so there are some visual inconsistancies between the two versions, but the style differences are apparent and that is what I am seeking opinions about.
_________________
HonePie.com
tumblr blog
digtal art

[spyroteknik]

as a parent, i could see my son going for the newer approach a lot more, i think the style and colours of the first are somewhat adult in nature (as in, muted darker greens/browns dominating an otherwise, reasonably striking pallette and a busier scene, a lot to take in - although i don't know what agegroup you would be targetting specifically) the characters come across a lot nicer and softer as well as the pastel shades being easy on the eye, my son is 2 and he does have his favourite books, most of which are pastel with the fluffier characters, the others being bright colours, but plain and on white backgrounds, he goes for the simpler designs and things he can easily pick out of scenes (clever little shit), i think you're definately on a winner with the new approach, maybe pick out a few outlines of the things a kid would point at and be able to say, drawing attention to only the main characters and small animals/toys/whatever is in there

still, that is a killer, if it's aimed at 6-10yrolds there is no way the art should have been knocked at all, and man, i don't envy your task of completely redoing it all, but, good luck, and i'm sure it will be published

[The Real Mark]

I'd say the new

even though i think the top is clearer, the newer style i've seen before and i think it works fairly well.

[V Shane]

The newer one is RIGHT ON target. I ahve seen this style and its usually the type my daughter pics out, yes, yes, yes.
_________________
Lichen Rice is worse than Licorice

[Alan]

i agree.. the new seems much better for a childrens book.. very nice.

-Alan

[Tomasis]

this one new is so beautiful. so dreamlike. wow it could be really easy choice

[Po`]

I think the new picture would work better. Nice colors.

[B0b]

new one def, but the outlines could do with being more defined on the characters

[Lunatique]

The newer for sure. Much nicer. Lush and soft.

[jfrancis]

I prefer the colors and layout of the new one, but I think the new one lacks the focus that comes from controlling the values. Everything in the new one seems overall of roughly equal value.

I appreciate the fact that there are more value differences in the old one, but I don't like the way in which the values were done. They come across to my eye as grayed down versions of the brighter colors.

[eyewoo]

Thanks for the comments...

This is such a difference for me - flat, straight on light like from a flash camera. I'm seeing how it opens up a lot of "story-telling" opportunities that aren't as easily available when light, especially conflicting light sources are part of a composition.
_________________
HonePie.com
tumblr blog
digtal art

[Awetopsy]

I was gonna write how I liked elements of the old better but as I was typing I convinced myself how I like the new one better.

great work.

[Malachi Maloney]

The new one is much better in my opinion. The stuffed bear and the flying-squirrel kick ass.

~M~
_________________
l i q u i d w e r x

[Sumaleth]

I like the new version a -lot- more than the originals.
_________________
Art Links Archive -- Artists and Tutorials

[tayete]

My two and a half years old daughter prefers the newer one much more. My 15 months son agrees (though he also loves the zip of the first one).
_________________
_ _ _____ _ _
http://tayete.blogspot.com

[Anthony]

Yup, new style kicks ass.
_________________
-Anthony
Carpe Carpem
http://www.anthonyfransella.com

[eyewoo]

Thanks again...

tayete... love that recomendation from your kids. Gonna show that to my agent, who also likes the new style better. She says she is going to resubmit after I get a few more done -
_________________
HonePie.com
tumblr blog
digtal art

[General Confusion]

Hi Phil,

I agree that the newer style is more suiting.. I don't think better is a good word, because both looks have a valid presence...

I think the first version suffers because the boxes create a sort of closure to the art (with the box vignette) and psychologically I guess that's something that may come off as disturbing or enclosing to a child's mind.

I recently went to a panel discussion in NYC held by Peter D�Seve, who as you may know is a very talented artist, children's books included. At the talk my friend, with whom I attended, said something that stayed with me... a summation of D�Seve's work..

he said it was inviting....

as obvious as it may seem, to me it clicked at that moment, and it dawned on me that even though a rendering may be as clear and concise as you can get... if the package isn't appealing to it's audience it won't work...

and I feel with the simple change of releasing the art from it's confines of the box format.. you certainly hit the mark...

bets of luck to you in this book endeavor.. (as I don't have any kids just yet, my fianc� and I are talking though) it would be my honor to own this book for my children...


If I could ask:

would you mind elaborating on the critiques you received... you say it was towards your art, but what specifically did they have problems with

did they make any suggestions, or did they just give you the don't call us we'll call you routine?
_________________
State of Confusion

[eyewoo]

[allpetter]

The second one is better than the first one imo.
And I don't think you should worry about making anything stand out more.

When I was a child I really liked that kind of pictures.
There is so much to look at. An you will discover something new every time you look at the pictures!

Real nice work eyewoo!

These are some pictures from a well known swedish child books writer!
The story about pettson and findus was my favorite as a child.







edit:
This one is a highres frontcover art of one of his pc games!
http://www.toptronics.fi/TopProducts.nsf/0/c9d74a2003aa9452c2256c1a002f9a2b/
_________________
Fru Tina K�ttet

[eyewoo]

[asmodie]

Petterson and Fundus rockes. And they are still clasics, even my little sister, seven years old, likes them. I realy like all the little small creatures that hides in the pictures.
_________________
Beeing evil as usual...

[eyewoo]

Here is another comparison between the old and new. The new version looks a bit busy when reduced for website display, but when it's printed at book size, its a eyeball feast of little details to search for and find.

The old:


The new:

_________________
HonePie.com
tumblr blog
digtal art