[Snoozer]

This scene is almost over (it starts two pages before the first page) There are only 2 pages left to go... We tried very hard to present a fast, powerful, and exciting scene... I'm not sure how well it work, over all I'm pretty pleased.

Any Comments?

CB
http://www.alpha-shade.com

[poppysan1]

to be brutally honest, i love the feel of the final pages, but im not really a fan of the lineart. The special effects, bells and whistles are dynamite, but i think that there is something missing in the core. Just my opinion. But i do love the pages. Storytelling-wise its pretty good. its just the lineart i have an issue with. keep up the good work.

[tayete]

I had some trouble following the different characters and what was happening. They all wear the same uniform and faces...
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http://tayete.blogspot.com

[Heysoos]

I really liked the style of the drawing I don't see what the problem with the line art is. I didn't have trouble reading it, I enjoy the way you laid out the pages where it was simple and readable but still managed to be dramatic.

[Rychan]

Impressive work, but...

The characters are a bit hard to follow... is it guys versus girls? What happens to the biplane girl? shot down by too guys?

I find it a bit hard to resolve the anime-ish style with the violence, as well.

[Summer Pudding]

This is dynamite. How long did it take to complete?

Pud'

[xray360]

The comic is very clean looking which I prefer. The only thing I noticed that could be better is the gun shot flashes (i.e. first page) and the explosions on the 3rd page. I would try to have them glowing and brighter in value to give them a more intense look. All in all a well done. I enjoyed looking at it and also felt the action Keep it up

[Snoozer]

[CwStone]

hey i havent been around here for a while.

well, i agree with the line art thing, and all the other comments (negative or positive) said above, so not much to say. just felt like posting.

PS!!!! i myself dont watch anime, but i used to once upon a time (about 2 years ago) and i can recall much violence taking place in teh shows. For me, the anim-ish style is natural with the violence. Though maybe anime nowadays went crazy style and has forsaken its violent ways and went kiddy style. like that hamster show.
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-Chase

[drunken_muse]

I dunno what you mean with "little or no violence in anime", as there are so many genres of it which contain it, some of them a drastic overkill amount of it even.

However, on a panel/comic-related matter I suggest you start using a really basic principle many people use. That is to make the border connecting sequential panels thinner, and the border to all the panels that arent in the panels direct order a little further from it. (The first page could make use of this.)

Another good idea is to keep in mind that wordballoons should be placed in a left-to-right order within the panel, as that's the way the brain usually wants to sort them. They can also be a good way to connect panels to create a better flow between them. (The last pages last panels could use this. But also the first two, using the Vrrm as a connecting flow. It might screw up the feeling of her hearing it from above in the first panel though.)

I'm not in any way some kind of "comic guru", these are all simple & basic advice I know many people miss when they start out. In the end, it all comes down to a matter of taste. I made a quick example to show what I meant here though: http://idun.free.fr/temp/comic.gif

Otherwise it's nice, nice story & art, angles etc. Especially like how the smoke gets pulled into the stream of the plane.