[Hyptosis]

After some feedback, re adjusted them a bit.





Just an update, that second page is still going to be redrawn I think. I want to save the last panel if at all possible.
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Hyptosis
Lorestrome
"Living makes me sick, so sick I wish I'd die..."

[Hyptosis]

Possible second page?


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Hyptosis
Lorestrome
"Living makes me sick, so sick I wish I'd die..."

[Hyptosis]

I'm just going to start over from scratch like I originaly said.
Here is what I've got so far guys. Crits means the world to me.








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Hyptosis
Lorestrome
"Living makes me sick, so sick I wish I'd die..."

[Matthew]

Hey Hyptosis.

I really like your sketches and stuff but since you wanted crits I can give you one.
Can�t say anything about the sketches but with the coloring I think you should benefit more with the use of warmer colors. What I see in the colored ones is the mix of both warm and cold colors above which can be a bit confusing when looking on, I know you said you are gonna redo them but I thought I could mention this when you are gonna re-color them.
I am not a pro but maybe some of it helped. :)

Also I messed around with one of the colored ones above and I think you can fix them a little bit with adding more red in the color balance and put down the blue, well.

see you
Matthew

[Drew]

The linework for the next page looks good. When you color it, remember to keep the lighting consistant. In the first page, the inconsistant lighting really flattens out your work. Other than that, you're doing pretty good!

[azz]

Using default airbrush to make sky is not the way to go (second image, first post). And something is not right with the colors: sky is almost clear, but everything looks like it is overcast day. Very soft shadows only add to that feeling. Few dark brushstrokes in shaded areas, and few bright highlights IMO would help.
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a.k.a. azazel or eltazar

[Hyptosis]

Thanks guys. I'll try to watch the overcast issue, and maybe screen my work with a warm colored layer. I'll have an update real soon, my sleep hours are screwed and I'm having trouble staying awake.
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Hyptosis
Lorestrome
"Living makes me sick, so sick I wish I'd die..."

[Hyptosis]

This is where I am at right now.
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Hyptosis
Lorestrome
"Living makes me sick, so sick I wish I'd die..."

[CwStone]

very nice. The panels are so close together in time that it is almost like an animation.

but ur not gonna do that in the whole comic, right? Cuz that'd take a while to draw.
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-Chase

[Hyptosis]

No, just this first page. I'm not experienced with comics though, so this is all new to me. Everyone gives different advice =D


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Hyptosis
Lorestrome
"Living makes me sick, so sick I wish I'd die..."

[Hyptosis]

All done!

Also did this recently.

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Hyptosis
Lorestrome
"Living makes me sick, so sick I wish I'd die..."

[Matthew]

Yeah much more warmer colors in the comic page, good work there. :)

Matthew