[Sumaleth]

I think I'm pretty much done with my Expose entry now - thanks to everyone who offered feedback and suggestions in WIP:



I maybe over-refined the girl a little, but I don't mind that.

--

Everyone else who has submitted to Expose is free to post their submissions here. It'd be interesting to see what Sijun's members have in the offering.
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[tilokani]

What an honour to be the first to reply.

This picture has such an indepth story behind it, and I notice the story in the eye of the beholder. The revelation of this picture from beginning to end was such a pleasure to view, and although the change from the girl's costume was drastic (from scrarfs to mechanical suit) it really proved to fit the image perfectly.

The snowfall adds a touch of softness amongst the technological composition and overall adds simple beauty to the image.

Simplay beautiful.

Only one crit, and although I feel like such a homeless child saying this, I think it should be said...

The helmet on the ground just behind Ms. World 2003 is just lying on top of the snow, as if it was ice. What would seem more sensible, is if it formed sort of a hole, or crater in the snow, just as the girl's pathway does.

Wonderful work nonetheless.
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[Tomasis]

hello nice work you did ..

nice texturing of snow on mark and robot.. the robot is very cool..

but I should to change in your image:

to lighten the smokes behind the robot
to make the glas more clarier in the robot (im not sure if it could work)
to put a little more space between her legs
to make this armor more thin and maybe elastic?
to make "footsteps" in show at different way..

but I suppose that you have worked hard enough?

edit: I forgot to say that it would be better if it was less contrast of her skin.. because diffuse lightning..
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[jr]

suma this looks good, you've really gone a long way since the first image you posted, i like the changes alot.
good luck.
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[J.Der]

Wow, this is very strikingly similar to one of the ideas I had for a string of pieces I plan to do in the near future. Very nicely done, if I get around to doing mine, I pray it's even half as good as this.

You've got a brilliant atmosphere going, and you've balanced the refinement of certain areas with rougher rendering flawlessly.

Thoroughly wonderful and absolutely awe-inspiring.

-JD

[Po`]

Great work, really like the path in the snow!

[Gygaxis]

Wow suma, the changes from the earlie concepts I saw from this are pretty major for the girl. I like them alot, the girl just wasn't clicking before now it fits just right, dig it
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[Matthew]

I like how you handled the snow-flakes in the end of the wip and how it turned out in the finished piece, very good work.
I can see that this will be a great piece in a book.
What about a book-project on the Sijun too, I wrote down some stuff in my latest thread too and I think it could be a very good idea.
The book could be about common mistakes a beginner do and also pictures from various artist around here, maybe it�s been done before a gazillion times but it would surely be cool.

anyway, good work on the girl and Robot. :)
Matthew

[Sumaleth]

Thanks for the comments. I tweaked the image one last time (buried the helmet a little was the main thing i guess), and thats it. No more tweaking, no more phoning a friend, it's locked in.
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[Tzan]

Looks great. Glad to see you sunk the helmet

I was wondering if you recall how many hours you have spent on this?

[gLitterbug]

Great work Sumaleth, I hope you get into Expos�. Good Luck!

[Lunatique]

It seems the foreshortening on her arms aren't as obvious as they should be? That leads to them looking a bit short. Maybe accentuate more where the forearm overlaps the hand, and where the bicept overlaps the forearm? Having something around someone's wrist is also a good trick to enforce the perspective, since the oval eclipse shape is one that's easily identifiable.

[AndyT]

Wow the buried helmet changes the whole image for me.
I like it better like that!
The mech looks a lot smaller and closer than in earlier versions.
Maybe that's just me though.

It's a great image!
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[Sumaleth]

Luna: yes, you're right - the arms looked short. They've been irking me for ages but i couldn't put my finger on the problem, and that was it.

I said that was the last version, but it turns out I lied. I've updated the image above with some new arms - hopefully making some progress there.

(I've spent four times longer working on the girls arms than the whole mech)
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[MisterFrosty]

I haven't played enough of the Mechwarrior type games to know whether this is an accurate impression, but it seems like the robot has sunk much deeper into the snowdrift that the girl. While this might make sense (it does way much more), I've usually found that I sink deeper into snow than she has -- though, again, I weigh more than she does too. Still, I think she should probably be deeper, or the mech less deep, to convey an impression of consistent snow depth.

It's also hard (at a glance) to figure out how she got where she is (her path sort of appears out of nowhere?), and it's unclear therefore whether she was a pilot of the mech (I assume so). The cab in the mech might be slightly too small.

These are all minor nitpicks on a gorgeous painting, but I figured I'd raise them.

[[666]Flat]

I dun think the illumination on the mech and on the gurl really fit together. Textures of yer mech are tastay. And yeah, that mech's too small. I mean, what distance may she have covered? Look at her helmet. Look at that mech. Dat would be way too tight even for a frickin EWOK. Explaining why she seems to be so happy about getting out of that midget hoppit.
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[Sumaleth]

Whoops, I forgot the texture overlay for the girl in the last one.

The mech is actually, to some degree, deliberately small. It's like a voltswagon of a mech world - 60's technology styling, diesel smoke, and not much in the way of head room.

The other answer is that if I made the girl smaller the balance of the image went wonky. And if I moved the mech further away it noticably reduced the impact of the image.

So I settled with a bit of a cheat, but I do like the idea that she's crampt in there, and we don't really know what position she is in.

Frosty: there are some faint tracks behind the mech.
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[AndyT]

IMO the helmet doesn't look small. I just think it should be closer to her legs ...
or actually smaller if it's supposed to be in the distance.
That makes the mech look bigger I think.

But as I said earlier ... maybe that's just me.
I'm sorry if the critiques are already bothering you Sumaleth
If you like the 60's technology styling it's fine as it is.
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[Arc][Pello]

nice image Sam....ive sent a couple off to Expose too
hope people from Sijun make it in

p.s. have you updated your special link archive....i was looking through it and didnt notice any of the recent new artists out there.....maybe its just me
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[Malachi Maloney]

I totally agree with AndyT. The helmet has been bugging me as I read down the thread, but fortunately Andy pointed it out. Other than the helmet, I think the image kicks serious ass.

Great work overall buddy.


~M~

Looking forward to seeing both of our work printed in the same book.
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[Guy Spenzz]

Outstanding. That is all.

[Sumaleth]

I've made one last change - removed the helmet.

I'm sending it off to Expose now. No more endless tweaks, it is what it is.

Thanks for the comments everyone.
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[linzi]

I've been reading the wip for this and love the mech. I think the image looks a lot more solid now without the distraction of the helmet. Good luck, it looks great.
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