[Plasmodium]

hi all !
Nice to see so many good atworks around. My turn to present somethin'.

Im not a professionnal, as you can see. That's my second attempt at CG painting. Lots of work to do, i know. But it's quite hard to see what's missing or has to be changed. That's why i'm open to any comment. so don't hesitate
Thanks a lot[/img]

[AndyT]

Great image. Looked professional first. But some things that bothered me ... the eyes are too saturated. Green is ok but they shouldn't be so bright IMHO.
Her left eye looks as if you just went over it with the burn tool ... you should probably try to indicate the round shape of the eyeball with a grayscale gradient...

Then there are lines around the whole figure almost just the sleeve blends with the background. I found that kinda confusing...
What's that white spot on her cheek? And about the mouth ... if the white is intentional there (teeth?) it shouldn't be perfect bright white...
_________________
http://www.conceptworld.org

[eyalyab]

i heard once that its not good to have a complete BLACK in a drawing.. but im not sure about the validity of that statement.

anyway, nice concept art. what's that thing between her legs?

[Plasmodium]

Andy: right, i do agree. White is too white and i better might try to keep volume in it. I'll fixe it. Probally add a few black or roating teeth Nah seriously, i ll try to add some gray into it.
About the sleeve, i was trying to make something that looks light and a little transparent. So something that would show part of the background. Maybe it's not the best way to work...I was not happy about the result of it anyway.
Eyalab: well i ve been told about that too. But i think pure black is a problem in a fully painted image. This one is more "comic" style and i thought pure black won't hurt that much. Anyway, if you noticed that, it's probablly because it doesnt work so fine. I'll check it.

Thanks for comments guys .-) always a pure pleasure to recieve advices

[AndyT]

I think if you draw a thin or lighter gray line along the sleeves edge it'll read better (and test how it looks with another not so obvious line along the arm below the sleeve). Did I mention how much I looove that body? (Where's the drool smiley? )

Maybe another thing about the composition. The body is great and it jumpes into the eye instantly (my English sucks, I hope you get the point)
the head however seems "hidden" right now .... I think because of the hair and the blue cloth-thingie.
_________________
http://www.conceptworld.org

[Capt. Fred]

In my oh-so-humble opinion, and were talkin' real humble here, I think it rocks.

I think the black hair is wonderful - fantastic. I think the rest is v cool.

Criticism-wise I think that her face seems to be drawn from two different angles, the top half looking more front-on than the bottom half which appears more rotated around to profile.

Wonderful colours! And you have obviously given lighting some thought, but ... perhpas think even harder about it. The rendering of lighting contributes SERIOUSLY LOADS to nearly any picture (within a range of styles including this picture's style).

And if this is your second attempt, well, you can expect to be doing some top qualtiy commercial artwork by your third attempt : D

Only MY opinion mind... You don't wanna go listening to me...

Oh and about absoloute black being good/bad? It's good if it looks good. It ain't if it don't.

[Zarathustra]

I think the face is fine. I don't think it needs any perspective adjustment. That is how it happens. The left cheek sort of disappears. Her face reads as being angular, but that is in keeping with the stylized drawing in general. The eyes are a bit big, though, but that is probably a matter of artistic choice in this rendering.

To kick it up to the next level perhaps the colors need to be more vibrant, generally, so that there is really a sense of light going on. Increased contrast might help but I think that perhaps trying to simply darken down a color by greying it out is leading to somewhat dull results. I just don't know for sure. There are many who seem to think colors should be warmed (yellowed/oranged) up in light and cooled (blued) down in shadow to create more of a sense of light.

Finally, as it is right now, there are parts of this drawing that read slightly flat to me. I think it has to do with where the shadow crests are as well as the steepness of the gradients, but there is also a place, namely in the the belt area, that has geometric flatness in the line as well that should follow a more natural anatomical path.

[Plasmodium]

thanks guys..to add a few comments:
i also think that the belt sucks...really. I will probably change this work soon and the belt is one of the main stuff...i also have to change a few colour issues and some facial distortion.
About the 100% black hair, i actually think its the only good part of this work. Anyway i might have used o mre "agressive" stroke to give some consistence to this area.
oh and finally, i m not really happy about it..i just wanted to have a few crticis and i reallllllllllllllllllllly got some good advices..thanks guys

[eyalyab]

the line work on the left side is too thick, try to make the line work thinner where the light hits, or erase it alltogether. also between the pant and panties, the linework is too thick. try to work with that.. see what happens
-cheers