[Aura]

Okay so I've been hurt a countless number of times by guys who suddenly fall out of love. I know I'm not the only one so if you will guys an' gals, tell me how you survive? How do you keep going and how do you handle it? Maybe we can learn from eachother.

[balistic]

I either try and start dating again as soon as possible, or alternately will just go into full scale "art hermit" mode . . . spend so much time doing art that you can't dwell on lost love.

Sitting around and being introspective is, in my experience, pretty much the worst thing one can do.

And if that doesn't work, there's always this:

I will survive!

[ November 15, 2001: Message edited by: balistic ]

[sacrelicious]

In my experience, nobody "suddenly" falls out of love. It may seem sudden, but in truth trouble's probably been brewin' for a while before the shit hits the fan. Relationships need to be worked at! Shock! (At least, it was to me. )

[Ahcri]

Well, for me, I begin by crying/shouting to a pillow and punching the wall, let it all out. Then take a shower, and look at some pictures of cute animals or comic strips in the newspaper.

My method is pretty healthy except you could injure your knuckle.

[Superbug]

well i almost got dumped by my two years sweetie, and ended up punching every breakable object in site, and balling to my pillow pretending it was her. BLECH. You think your strong, then suddenly you get hit by a truck.

[Lunatique]

First, you let it go. I mean, REALLY let it go. Don't sit there and think, "WHAT did I do wrong? WHY doesn't he love me anymore? COULD I have held on to him if I.... DOES he love someone else? DID he ever love me?"

Don't do any of that. It's pointless, and it only makes you feel worse. You can only truly move on when you stop thinking thoughts like that and ACCEPT the fact it is over, and there will never be an explaination that would satisfy you.

If you can get to that point, you'll be fine.

But while you are trying to get to that point, distract yourself with things you love doing. Going out with friends, watching movies, listening to music, playing games, reading books, paint, write, go bowling, go dancing, go to the zoo, amusement parks...anything.

Try it.

[Vgta]

Give your heart time to grieve but don't let your mind go insane.
Spend a day by yourself crying and then make sure you are around people that care for you.
Give yourself time to heal, and if it doesn't get better get proffesional help.
The hardest thing about life is living it, however once you realize that there are still people out there that care for you things will slowly come around.

[jr]

watch cartoons and laugh. or find God and cry.

[Count Zero]

I'm drunk. It seems to work pretty well. Until a point, at least.

[Awetopsy]

just keep going... doing good things.. go and be nice to someone... even tho you feel like trash. By totally being unselfish to somebody, you will be conquering the bad feelings.



Hope you feel better soon.

[Giant Hamster]

People waste way too much fucking time on dating.

1. It's supposed to be a good thing, so if you're having such a bad time with it...you shouldn't date at all.

2. Stop tossing love around like a toy. It's disgusting to see people with a new date every hour. "I love her, no, I love her...uhh, I love him! Actually, I love her again...no, wait..."

3. Dating shouldn't occupy that much of your time. People constantly confront me about not having a life and the first thing they bring up is dating. "Why don't you date much? I have a friend blah blah..." Dating does not = a way of life. Dating = just something you do along the way. So don't fret if it goes wrong. It's as bad as people who cry and get depressed when someone gets cancer on a sitcom. Guh!

*full of beef and cabbage moose*

TOUCH ME!!!! WHEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Ok, I go away again for another four months to a year.

[Jezebel]

Hamster - I agree with everything you said... especially about the way everyone falls in "love" much the same way as someone passes me the potatoes at Thanksgiving. Most people just don't know what love is so they automatically assume if they have a good time with somebody they must love them.

I also think dating is overrated. I NEVER went on a single date until I was 19 or 20 years old, don't regret it either. I never had any shitty relationships, bad break-ups, I never gave up my virginity to a total loser, I never sat up crying all night because some guy didn't call me. I met a guy I REALLY liked, had tons in common with and then went out on a date with him... a totally non-pressure (almost non-date) kind of date. We just hung out, chatted and I went home. We did that several times and it was great. Been with him for 4 1/2 years now and there's nobody else for me.

Most of the people who called me a loser in high school for not having a boyfriend are now going through their 3rd divorce. It's sad.

NOW... if I were to break up with the guy I am with now, I would be miserable for a long time. I certainly wouldn't jump back into the "dating" scene. That always frustrates me to see people date to get over someone... ugh. Yuck. If that's how somone goes about starting relationships, then they probably aren't as fulfilling as they could be.

I can't offer any advice on a break-up... didn't mean to bitch in this thread either, lol. It's just something that's always bothered me and I thought I would let it out.

[Wild]

I don't know, am I strange? Every time one of my girlfriends have declared that they don't love me anymore and that we should break up all I say is something like:
"ok... if that's what you think, sure."
And then, if I REALLY liked the girl in question, I will be by myself for a day or two, and then everything will be back to normal (except for the no-girlfriend-thing...). Is that weird?

[Aura]

hey everyone that was some really great advice, I can't say I agree with all of it, bu there are some really good points you all make. It's just really hard to be out there and really care for somebody then they turn around and leave you for someone thats been around the block a thousand times. Sometimes I think they deserve eachother other times I think no he's too good for her and then I think maybe it just wasn't meant to be. That's ok but I know I'm definately not ready for a new relationship and Iit's been over a month.

[Aura]

The song that best expresses my feelings that I try to bury deep down inside is by Usher "You Got It Bad" Can you feel me?