[Enayla]

Hello everyone,

I am posting this in Random Musings because I do not know where else to put it. Please take the time to read through it.

I’m tired. I’m tired of having to take on responsibility for the whole forum while the other moderator and administrator is gone. I’m tired of receiving some fifty rather rude mails every week for the state the forum has fallen into - and I’m tired of being personally blamed for what’s going on.

There are nearly 5000 people at this forum. All of which have very strong opinions of all kinds of different things. We all know the kind of hurricane that’s been sweeping through the place the last few weeks, and it’s caused a lot of bad feelings. I tried not to participate in the arguments themselves because I’m supposed to stay somewhat “objective” in most matters, I believe. I can’t know for sure since I haven’t heard from Dhabih since the forum died a few times ago - and he’s no longer responding to my emails. The rules he gave me on how to take care of the forum simply do not seem to work anymore. I can’t quite agree with them because they do in no way help me to keep any order... Not when there are so many people posting (and among those people, a lot who post for no other reason than anger others) and I can’t even ban the worst miscreants. All I have been able to do is to tell people to calm down or behave - and when I’ve had, no one’s really listened. They’ve been too angry. I could close and move threads, but... *shrugs*... what good has it really done? The flames have just burst up somewhere else, instead. I can’t possibly sit around all day closing and opening threads.

I have received email, upon email, upon email - people writing me with their solutions of the problems. New rules and new ways to behave. Some of them have been very rude. Some have blamed me for the downfall of the forum though I can’t see how this can be. Some have called me rather ugly things - something I can’t approve of since I’m always trying to be polite. They’ve been telling me to be more strict. To ban people (not caring that I can’t), to put up new rules, and to do all kinds of things that I do not truly have the authority to do. I tried, again, to write Dhabih - but he still did not respond. I imagine he has better things to do. Truth to be told, though, so have I. I have done my best for this place. I tried to follow Dhabih’s rules, and then the last few days, I’ve tried to be a more active moderator and to keep the Gallery clear of things that people throw up just “because”. I’m finished with that, though. People started whining about that, instead, even as some other people continued to complain about me not being strict enough. I did receive some nice messages from people encouraging me and telling me to continue doing what I’m doing... and to these people, I apologise... but I can’t, I simply /can’t/, moderate this forum on my own. I have other things to do with my life than sit around clicking threads and checking emails all day to see if someone’s said or done something bad. I had to clear out my mail box last night because it was filled to the brim with complete crap.

So, in essence... while I will stick around and hang out in Random Musings and in the Gallery, I will not baby sit anyone anymore. It’s making me feel miserable. I’m tired of feeling miserable when everyone still disagrees with what I do, no matter how I do it. Maybe I’ll go back to being a moderator if Dhabih picks a few more to do the job with me, but I doubt it. My thanks go out to the people who found it a lovely pastime to write intelligent emails with the titles “Enayla, you suck” *dryly*... I really love you guys.

To the rest of the forum... I hope things work out. I really do believe that Sijun can be salvaged but I’m obviously not the person for the job. I have two jobs and not nearly enough time to baby sit this forum as much as people demand. I haven’t slept well for a couple of weeks because of all of this. Everyone’s been fighting, I know - I’m betting a lot of people don’t even take it personally. I take it personally when I get emails that tell me the things I’ve been told. And if being depressed is the price I have to pay for trying to help people out... I’m sorry... I can’t do that right now. I really wanted to try to do this, and I'm not willingly abandoning the forum, but I can't handle this.

Enayla.

[Frost]

Sorry to hear that Enayla. It's even more of a shame to hear that you're taking this responsability all on your own. I don't think anything is your fault, you did your best and did a decent job... I don't think anyone can sincerely be upset at you for that.

Hope you'll still post and stick around though.

regards,
frost.

[Superbug]

Wow.

Man. Um. Um.

Well, I think you did everything you could, if that helps. I think people shouldn't blame you, heck, the probably don't even know you. Shows what's happening here. But you know, as far as I can see, this is just a forum and YOU have your own life!!

So, get some sleep, hold your chin up high!

[SlightlyTwisted]

I know you love the place, Linda... and so do I, deep down, I guess. No matter how many times I say I'm leaving, I always end up looking back here again a week later.. But I think this is for the better, you know. You can still be very good for the place as no more than a member, you always have been. Actually, I kind of think that being a moderator there has detracted from your ability to be a good member. You're better off without that burden. Now you con concentrate on the things you love; nurturing and caring for your own wonderful forum in the way that this place should have been a lot earlier on, and participating in here without any of the shackles of responsibility dragging you down all the time.

Now you can take a deep breath and relax... the difficult part is over. Soon you'll be able to enjoy yourself again.

[DiXter]

That's too bad to hear Enayla. I thought you did a good job as moderator at this forum..
And i don't think you should blaim yourself to hard. I mean it's to many people out there just trying to upset one and another.

Hoppas det l�ser sig f�r dig!

[ichiban]

<--general feeling

[aquamire]

It's to bad things have gotten this out of hand. Enayla, you've done a great job, and have gone beyond the limits someone should have to go to police the forum. I think your a good person with an honest heart, and I find it a sham that so many people come to complain and blame you when they should look at their own behavior. It's not worth breaking your back over a bunch of people who claim to be disrespected when they can't even hand out respect.

I wish you well, and hope Dhabih comes around and does something.. If not, I fear the forum will continue to decay without his presence.

[Impaler]

That's the way the cookie crumbles, I guess.

You were moderator for what? Two months? Whoever blames you for anything has no clue what they're talking about, and was probably just trying to usurp your position anyways.

Don't you just love geek testosterone?

[dicet]

I believe we all understand that.
Thanks very much Enayla.

I still hope to see your wonderful work somewehre in the future.

[exo13]

Jeez, People can be real morons by emailing you with things like that. I'm real sorry that you were the one doing all the hard work after Dhabih lost interest in his little hobby. I'm sure Mr. Eng is a nice guy and everything, and I certainly have no doubts that he's a great artist, but he sure left us to wallow in the accumulative filth. While some of us were hoping to get some decent insight from other artists and maybe get a little exposure, jerks, and people with no reservations about making a complete ass of themelves, have taken over.

I guess this is the final blow to sijun. The one that'll bring on the gradual plummet to the depths of common internet style communication. I don't blame you one bit though. I commend you for going as far as you have, putting up with the crap from people you couldn't ban, and being patient with the ones who've noticed the downfall, but have chosen immature ways of dealing with it. Personally, I have no idea how one could work two jobs, manage an unruly 5000 member forum, and make some of the best digital I've ever seen. Good luck.

I assume you'll still be making artwork right? I don't meen to sound insensitive but, some of us will still be seeing you elsewhere right? I feel that allowing the fruit of your encredable tallents to go unseen would be a real shame. Be sure to rest your eyes from that CRT for while though.

Anyway, you have my sincere thanks for taking the time you did, to do everything in your power to keep order. You were certainly more patient than I was and have done a better job than I'm sure anyone else here could've.

Sincerely
N. D. Hill

[gLitterbug]

You did everything you could and I love you for that. I care for sijun, but I�m not sure if it will recover, when the King(Dhab) left the kingdom so long ago.
I think you�re a too good and kind person for a place like this. I hope if this place doesn�t get better, you find a better one for you.

Thx for all,
gLitterbug

[Chapel]

Sorry, to see what you have had to deal with, but in all honesty I was surprised to see you become a moderator. I didn't think it really fit you very well.. you are too nice of a person. And that is a good thing! I'm surprised that dhabih doesn't even reply to you though. It is almost like he just leaves the site up for the hell of it, but doesn't really care about watching over it anymore. But I don't know him and he probably has more important things to worry about. I would be willing to lend you a hand as a mod if the need arises and you do decide you want help and stay. We could play good mod/ bad mod. I'll be the bad mod.

[simuartist]

Well I understand what you are talking about since I am one of the people to blame here. I don't think you should give up though. If it where me I would just be ruthless and say hey..well it's either do it my way or stop being a moderator which if you do that..no one will modorate!!! Just start closing threads as soon as there is a flame . Even if it is 2 posts long...flamers will leave cause they will have no way of getting the attention they want. I personally am not a flamer. The fight I got into was my anger in repsonse to how rude you where when I TRIED to help. Anyways ,old wound lets not go there. Persoanlly I think you are to nice for this job. Dahb needs someone who doesnt care if people like them or not and will just be rather ruthless with people and threads. Just a thought.

[faustgfx]

that'd make me the perfect moderator..

[Matthias]

sorry to see you go. I think you're a great moderator and an even greater artist. You've done everything you could and its very understandable that you can't do everything yourself. hope this mean you'll post more often cuz i'd really like to see more of your work.

[b1ll]

I wish I could say something cheerfull to help you out Enayla ..
But I can't.. I have'nt been here for long enough, I don't realy know what happen acctualy..

I try not to be part of anything..

Still. We are humans, humans, are weird beast.. We take pleasure when someone is hurt.. We love to make the other people feel bad..
I know its stupid but were like that I guess...

In a way, you should be glad to quit the moderator positions.. I'm sure you'll feel much better in a few days..
good luck :P

[Ko]

Yay!
faustgfx for moderater (seriously)

I'm just glad that I don't have to moderate these boards... they have gone really bad.
They were much better back then...

Ko

[ August 07, 2001: Message edited by: Ko ]

[Steven Stahlberg]

Yes, seriously, I think Jussi should be moderator here. You need someone who's been here a while, someone who is very active here, who seems to have time enough, someone who doesn't care what people think. Seriously. Right now, if Dhabih keeps staying away, something like that is all that can save sijun. Bear in mind that every month new people are coming online. The rate of growth is exponential, in a few months there could be 7 - 8000 members here.

[faustgfx]

i'm up for it, sure, but somehow i don't think the masses of the asses like the idea, considering how loved i am here.

[Vesuvius]

Enayla, I never meant anything negative towards you or the forums by the things I have said, and I think you have been a great mod as well as an incredible artist. I am VERY upset that you received insulting/threatening emails, no one in these forums should be sending those, these are community art forums, so who do these people think they are?? I hope you feel better and that you hear from Dhabih. I'm sorry for any distress I caused.

[Vesuvius]

PS- I also want faust as a mod, he'll kick ass and take names.

[jr]

i hope you continue posting Enayla, i love your work
nice sig matt, simpsons season one.....
one groom? two grooms? ahhhh.....

[Superbug]

man, stephen s. I believe you. I think jussi should be a moderator. After all, he is active here. He's been here quite a while. And he has the balls to kick people off with no hesitations i'm sure of it. No crap faust moderator.

I say go for it, and if has u say faust, the masses are asses, then kick out the masses. Get sijun going again, with a a coupla hundred people again. 5000 is just way to much. That may sound radical and harsh but look at the condition this forum is in. People are trying to save it but just look at newbie growth. Impossible.

[Awetopsy]

I still love you enayla. You have done a fine job as moderator. Thanx so much for all the time you have put into this place. If there's anything I can do to help out I would be more than willing.

-awe

[edit] bad sp?

[ August 07, 2001: Message edited by: Awetopsy ]

[-HoodZ-]

well Enayla you have better patience than i do.........

[Loki]

Hey Enyala!

Sorry that this job became so unbearable! But I can understand. Just take a break, come over to the battlebround for a backrub and some soothing conversations

About people being rude - it's one of those phenomenons when boards/forums become too big, because the 'anonymous mass' grows. When sijun had about a 500-1000 people we all knew each other, so if someone went out of line it was easier to talk ot them.

Uh well.

If you compare the life of a forum to that of a star, then sijun has reached the state of a white giant star, and is not far away from becoming a red dwarf soon.

time to move on Enyala ... see ya around

[TeTsUo]

Hmm...this reminds me of the UBB for unreal tournament...all kinds of drama and the like. Unfortunately children love to act like children, and at times even love to hurt cause "its kewl."

After a while you need to understand that this is the internet, and to deal with children you need to give them a spanking plain and simple. For some this may offend, but this website gave me a whole new insight on how to deal with moronic cyber children. www.ernieshouseofwhoopass.com . Just check out his flames sections and you will see what i mean. Never let it get to you.

Enalya I understand what you are going through and think that this would be the best for you right now to take a break. True i post a picture here about once every 20 years, but i read what you guys have to put up with. Take a break and let faust smack some peeps around. Too much of one thing can leave you drained...and vacation is a good thing.

I could bring out the UT smack talk from hell right now...but ill aim it elseware at more formidable opponents then the lil children running round here.

ciao

tHe MaD

[JoeKool]

Bear in mind I KNOW Faustgfx will write me hate mail on here for this, but well..the only thing I have against Jussi is that the very first time I ever saw his site..about 2 years ago perhaps, I wrote him simply saying "Cool work, keep up the good work" and he wrote me back saying "F--- You"..so..yeah..he certainly knows how to not take any sh-t
ehehehe....

[Poprocksz]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[Muzman]

You know, folks are always saying that the place has gone down hill, is going downhill. It's not. If this is indeed "bad" right now in any sense it's been so for a very long time. There's a few little squabbles and idiots here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary (in the scheme of the broader internet this is still one of the more sane and reserved places). The trouble is (ghastly mixed metaphor coming up) Enayla by having a position above it all cops *everything* full in the face. She has no authority save the title and no one to back her up most of the time (as she said). Still, as bad as it is for her I think the amount of "bad" stuff going on is far outweighed by people complaining about how much "bad stuff" there is going on and lamenting some mythical utopic past when everything was fine (which must be a different utopic past to the one I remember since most are more recent members. Very recent in a lot of cases). Gives me the shits it does.

Anyhoo, good luck Enayla. Take a break or something, you certainly shouldn't have to do it all alone in any case.