[SystemId]

You def. have the whole Craig Mullins / Dusso painting feel comming along. Keep it up .. it's really getting there !

Maybe some myst or something from snow being blown would help a tiny bit? I dunno ..

[nevanlinna]

the feeling of coldness and ice is exellent. i really like this piece. just and only cold colors, that's great maan. keep on, very good!!!

[Loki]

Very nice! There are a few things that pop in my eyes though:

* The black areas seem to be too 'heavy' especially at the bottom.

* It looks very monochrome, which it can of course, but giving the structure a bit of warmer gray might solve this (if you wanjt of course)

* The light hasx no definete direction. You have a fairly hard shadow being cast from the pillar on the right, but no other hard shadows are to be found elsewhere.
Even if it was a diffuse lighting situation, the light would be more 'directional'. Probably from the top.

* The broken wall/ceiling thingie on the right in the back would be darker, because it'd would block a lot of light from the top

* Aerial perspective doesn't seem to be consistent. This ties in with the blacks being to heavy.

* I can't make out which structure is closer - the one on the left or the one on the right - confuses the eye. Adjustment in value and giving some spacial hints would probably solve that one.

But don't get me wrong - it's a cool piece

Cheers

Loki

[daz199]

awesome
i think you should take the "5" out tho...doesn't seem to fit in

[Dryfire]

thats incredible man, i think it looks great!
very realistic and nice color choice, it all seems to go together. good job

[Sleepi]

You definately got the Dusso thing down, the first thing I thought of were those screamer paintings when I saw that before I even read that it was the influence. Really great painting.

The only thing I think I can comment on is that the buildings don't seem very solid if you know what i mean, it looks like random blocks are just scattared around.

[Loki]

speaking of Dusso - just looked at his matte of 'Screamers' - the building on the left his major similarities to Dusso's painting. Not that I have any problem with this at all, but if I was inspired by a cool painting, as it often happens, I wouldn't try to pick off details of it - I'd make my own design from the ground up ...
But everyone can do as they like of course - and the rest of the painting is entirely different.

-- this is not meant as flamebait --

[Kamal]

Nicely done.

My only constructive criticism would be to add some more detail in your foreground (SNOW). Maybe some textural information in the snow.
Right now all the detail seems to be concentrated in the midground. Feels kind of unbalanced (in the "z" axis). That's my only observation.

Kamal

[pixtur]

A little bit inspired by dusso's mattepainting for "screamers".
Critiques and comments welcome.

tom / www.pixtur.de

[ May 27, 2002: Message edited by: pixtur ]

[Ian Jones]

Excellent! I love this style, love stuff like this.. Spooge, Loki, Dusso, Henrik.. etc. You did a great job. In fact If you had shown me it on its own, I would have geussed it to be Loki's work. It has that 'clean' look to it, unlike Craig's sort of 'built' up almost 'transparent' layering of values and shapes (gives texture as a result).

Loki: When you paint, do you tend to use more solid shapes (eg.. brush without opacity)? rather than building up with transparency? I'm just curious as to how ppl get this 'look'.

[ May 28, 2002: Message edited by: Ian Jones ]

[pixtur]

Wow, quite a lot of feedback! I am really a little bit proud that you like it so much. After sleeping over it, I see flaws everywhere in the image, but on the other hand: that's my first work, where I tried a really high degree of detailing.


SystemId: Thank you! Maybe I get better, but mullins is my god! Every evening before going to bed, I make a prayer to my personal altar of selected goodbrush-paintings. Comparing me to him is heresy ;-)

nevanlinna: Thank you.

Loki: Du kannst Dir nicht vorstellen, wie ich mich dar�ber freue, dass Du hier ein reply geschrieben hast. Ich verfolge Deinen Werdegang seit dem TRSI-Logo und verehre Dich sehr. To the critiques:
- Yes, the tonal contrast is really unbalanced, I can clearly see it now.
- I will fix the colors a little bit. I startet at the church on the left side, but get too involved in detailing the right structures.
- The light-direction is the biggest problem in this piece. I will try to fix it a little bit, by adding some more shadows, but on the "ceiling/wall"-structure this would not work. This one also destroys the perspective. I hate it, maybe I will completely replace it by something different.
- The "z-order" is a complete mess. You can clearly see the mistakes of a beginner here: "Ohh! that special part is great. Let's zoom in and add some details." I am still struggling with the craigs "from big to small brushes"-methods. I have soooo much to learn.

daz199: You are right. You can see, how I learned on this image. I started on the left side (which strongly orientates on dusso and is still very unsatisfying) and got better and better (well, not that good ;-) )while adding the structures on the right part. (The "Gate 5" is fitting into it quite well)

Dryfire: Thank you!

Sleepi: Random yes. I love it randomness and destroyed structures. The problem is not the randomness but two other things: 1. The left fassade looks like a single textured polygon. Like a backpainting in at theater. It is improper to the rest of the And 2.: The level of detail is too unbalanced. There should be more "big structure" for perspective and less parts of "randomness dirt" for the feeling.

Loki(2): You are completely right. I will NEVER do something like this again, and publish this at sijun to get feedback. I just WANTED TO DREW SOMETHING and was looking for any ideas (theme) to start with. I am really really sorry about copying some parts of the dusso-painting.

Kamal: You are right about the details, but somehow I don't feel very well about adding detail-structure to the snow. I will add some "structures".

Ian Jones: Thank you. About painting in loki's or craig's style: I've taken a very close look at the works of both of them. The difference between their works is as obvious as the similarities: Craig knows exactly, where people are looking at, and what they expect there to see. So he builds athmophere, color and perspective by blurry translucent layers and adds hard egdes, only where people would miss them. I am still a novice and add details everywhere, because I am -- in a childish way -- proud I can drew them.


My English is bad too.

[Loki]

Hey dude! No need to apologize. It's a cool painting by itself!

Haha - da ist einer der sich an meine dunkle Vergangenheit erinnert! Freut mich dass Du das TRSI logo noch kennst!

All the best, dude - looking forward to seeing your next image!

[Leo]

My first reaction was - hey that reminds me of Dusso... so not bad for the first detailed work. I didn't see much problem with copying stuff for study but try to find new approach for commercial stuff/or portfolio. Well, Loki tells you everything... I can only add one thing - paint with light. You did a lot of work with details (and that's good if you've great patience) but with that undefined light the illusion is lost. Anyway, keep painting!
Best of luck,

-leo

[Isric]

cool! Looks fantastic. Backgrounds aren't my thing, and I've learned a lot just from looking at this.

[pixtur]

Leo: I know, that a defined light-situation is most important in images like this one. I am always struggling with this, but you need a very clear view, what you will paint - which I had not, while painting it. I will work on this.

Isric: Thank you.

Here is an update. I tried to add a new structure in the foreground. Bad lighting and perspective again (still not knowing what I am painting) but I hope the overall composition get's a little bit clearer. Added some light/dark-values to the right structures. Well, before going to detail it any further, I wanted to ask for some suggestions. You guys have a sharp eye ;-)

[Fredrik]

nice pic (the 2ond) but the nice "foggy" light that can be seen under the openings on the top of the left building need to be found under the opening (yes, the small hole) in the left building to, otherwise it will look like two different artists has been painting the two sides of the painting

[pixtur]

here is the final version (added some more details to the left side and adjusted colors a bit.)

[ceenda]

Well glaze my nipples and call me Rita. That final version is awesome! I think it's okay that it's quite monochrome.

Would like to see perhaps a little bit of detail on the two large columns on the left (perhaps just a few cracks in the brickwork or rivets or something).

Either way, this is great.