Sijun Forums :: View topic - -=The Enigma of Women=-

Lunatique · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2001 5:58 pm

I was just wondering why we havn't heard any stories from the girls yet?

Brain · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2001 6:45 pm

Cuz they're all the background going "Pfft. Nerds." @;-)

*sigh*

leat hacksaw · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2001 7:25 pm

that was a great read, ambient whisper

i reckon you should do something soon, otherwise the opportunity is just going to pass you by....

yeah, whatever happened to jucas? WE NEED AN UPDATE!

we should change the name of this thread to
'lovers anonymous' or something - its like an online help group for we poor ppl

Loki · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2001 11:51 pm

[wanted to post this yesterday, but the i-connection crapped out]

Beautiful story, whisper! I enjoyed reading it.
This is what I would do:

I think it's time to tell her how you feel about her. You have known each other for quite a while and if you're not doing it soon I fear you might end up in the 'just a friend' slot or maybe she'd meet someone else - this might also be not true, and I don't want to put the fear in you. Just play it by ear, but the time seems right, huh?

She seems really nice and if you guys can talk for hours you seem to have a good vibe going on. I love that. Being hungry for someone.

That she's really busy working sucks and you have to respect that above all. Otherwise she could feel pressured or getting into trouble at work which sucks too.
But the time is right. If she's hard to get in touch with, why not writing her an oldfashioned letter?? I loved writing letters - it's just different than email or ICQ - it's not as disposable - you can keep it, burn it, cry on it and make the ink run apart or just keep it with you and read it over and over again.

I'd just tell her how you feel - straight out. I usually found that when you bend the facts (out of fear of rejection or what the other person might think) that what comes back is also not what you hoped for. Usually writing your heart out with a little bit of structure works (you don't wanna confuse the person who reads it). Sometimes I kinda put it in different acts. However you like it, whatever feels ok.

One other thing I kinda learned is that leaving the end open is important too. So the person who replies has all doors open too. If you pressure someone into a corner with something like "Do you love me - I have to know - otherwise I kill myself with a desert spoon!" you will probably get a bad reaction.

Being informal is kinda what I always liked, along the lines of "You blow my mind. Just to let you know. You really do."
Then you leave a wide open space to express herself too. No pressure is the most important thing, because you can't force anything in those matters - if one does than things happen like in my story (I wanted to write the conclusion tonight, but I just had to write this post).

And then, after all is written on nice paper (but no gold rimming, ok? Otherwise she'll think YOU just want to be friends

)you send the letter of and that is where the butterflies in the stomach really come out to play.

Have no fear of rejection - if it happens, it would happen anyway. It's better to find out than to die in miserable doubts.

Be gentle, understanding but don't take any crap (see above). Judging from your story you've got a saweeeet chance. Go for it.

[and of course all that is only my opinion based on all the crappy and beautiful things that happened to me ]

All the best,

Loki

Guy · Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2001 12:37 am

haha thanks loki

i think she drinks a little. im not much of a heavy drink myself, so it could work, but not too many pubs in my town. maybe just go pick up some good beer. like, honey brown or something. or would something more 'fancy' be better? like some kinda wine? oh well whatever. ill figure out something

Loki · Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2001 5:47 pm

Yeah Guy - I'm talking medicinal ammounts of alcohol

Good luck!

hydrid · member Member # Joined: 20 Jan 2000 Posts: 193

So much talk about such a relative insignificance. If I were a guy, I'd avoid women like the plague. Look what we do!!! We're so good at being awful and mean and even when we aren't trying to be mean we do a damn fine job of it. Don't bother with us *sheesh*.

leat hacksaw · Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2001 1:27 am

We try. We really do, but its too hard

v1510nAry · Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2001 12:51 pm

Jibberish, can somebody summarise these 3 pages can't be borthed to read all of it

Jucas · Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2001 5:40 pm

WoW! I went out of town for 5 days to NYC and looks like this topic exploaded. It's wonderful reading everyones stories, sad or not, and it gives great point of reference. That said I really wish I would get 1/4 as many of these comments on my art I post, but such is life/love I guess...

[ June 24, 2001: Message edited by: Jucas ]

Loki · Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2001 6:22 pm

visionary: get off yer lazy ass and read it. there's no sense in summarizing a couple of stories and responses.

Jucas: you owe us an update! Pronto!

PandaX52 · Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2001 10:04 pm

I'm strong and healthy because I eats me spinach x2

believe it or not.

uff...testing, again.

and again.

[ June 25, 2001: Message edited by: PandaX52 ]

[ June 25, 2001: Message edited by: PandaX52 ]

[ June 25, 2001: Message edited by: PandaX52 ]

n8 · Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2001 8:12 am

well Loki and Jucas...those were very touching stories...emotionally draining..i read this stuff after watching final fantasy...id just have to say that this stuff is just 20 times..nono..100 times better than any cg film.
Loki...in your first section you said there were a few other stories or something...do tell..im curious...seriously, you should wright an auto bio for all to read...itd make a great movie..how bout "Life of Loki" ?..hehe
anyway, emotions fuel art and thats prob the reason why your such a great artist...
ps. sorry bout bringing the thread up again, i just felt the need to comment and i havent had much time to go through forums lately..
but wait...wheres lokis 3rd section of story go!!....ite been a month!!...and wheers your conclusion Jucas?

Loki · Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2001 1:27 pm

Thx n8! I'll write it soon!

Dryfire · Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2001 7:40 pm

heh women.. ouch they hurt... i got plenty of stories of rejection if anyone wants to hear him.. i bet they will make you say "wow, this guy is worse off than me!"

InsaneSpaghetti · Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2001 11:00 pm

Brain, I sometimes think that way too. But oh well. Not everyone has a big thing going on with the opposite sex. And the emotional package is different for different people. So there.
*squeaky voice* Submit to nerdness!!!

Jucas · Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2001 11:01 pm

Update! Update!
Update time... I suppose I will tell. I am sorry. I really don't have much of an update. I am still head over heels for this girl, I feel just about the same way I did the first time I met her (butterflys

in a good way).

Here's the deal, on our date we got along great. I didn't really know what to make of our date as the night went on... We really did get along great!

However the evening was a short one, we just went out to see a performance. We would've gone to dinner except her mom was leaving in the morning on a trip and she was lucky she could even slip out of the house for a few hours to go see the performance with me, plus the performance got out sorta late and it was going to be a very early morning (like 4:30, her family was going to take mom to airport).

But I was slightly confused when we ending the evening. No kiss? Oh well! not a problem... I hafta say I was confused though... I called her the next day, said I had a good time etc. She said she had a good time too! I asked her for another date and she said yes...

Here's the catch (there is always a catch right?) I was leaving for NYC a few days after school got out, and she was leaving for Rhode Island a few days before I got back (she is there right now!) to go to the one and only RISD! For a summer camp. Soo... I haven't gotten that second date yet, but believe me... I have been waiting

I called her before I left, told her to have a beautiful time, and that I hope the experiance is amazing. I called her from NYC at the top of the trade center, I dropped some sortive romantic line like, "I can see all of New york from up here, and I can tell you it has everything I could possibly want or need, except one thing... you."

She seemed to like that, hehe

. I also sent her a letter. A few days ago, but I haven't gotten a reponse, yet.

I wish I could tell you guys something more, but I hope that will do for now... I will tell you more as it comes.

[ July 25, 2001: Message edited by: Jucas ]

InsaneSpaghetti · Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2001 11:55 pm

*squeakier voice* Submit to nerdness!

marky · Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2001 8:42 am

Well if she swallowed the "except one thing... you." line then your definately onto a good thing!

You want to be careful though - you know theres plenty of guys out there. My experience is if you dont make a SERIOUS move - and I mean serious - you wll regret it!

Theres only so many "top shelf" women you know - and theres usually a queue halfway round the block for them!

Well thats my cynical opinion on the subject expressed

Seriously though, don't let work or excuses get in the way - go for it!

Laemtao · Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2001 9:35 pm

JUCAS.. I'm Rooting for YA boy-o~!!! better not dissapoint us.. man.. took u forever to give an update.. GOOD LUCKS@!!

--------
mo

Starman · Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2001 9:52 pm

jucas - go get em!

loki - we need more!!!!!!!!!!
tell us more

[ July 25, 2001: Message edited by: Starman ]

Lunatique · Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2001 11:40 pm

Nice! That's a great update. You're my kinda guy: not afraid to say something romantic. Man, I really hope you get the girl!

wayfinder · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2001 4:18 am

i bet she's thinking right now: "that asswipe called me a THING!"

Jucas · Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2001 1:18 pm

Oh shit... Well I got a letter from my laddy friend in the mail today =( She basically said she was afraid that she sent the wrong message and she doesn't wont to have a "romantic relationship" and she hopes this wont affect our friendship...

Well... fuck. I am sorta upset, I am afraid I fucked up or something, maybe said too many nice things... but I dunno I sorta fell relieved too. I can't explain it and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me, I just wanted to tell you guys because you were so supportive through this whole deal... Anyways, move on to the next one eh

DarkBlade · Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2001 1:48 pm

Okay, look. Some girls go for older guys because in general, females mature faster than males. But not always. I'm 18, my boyfriend will be 16 in three months.

Girls go for the bad boys?! Not with much of any self esteem. If a girl's goin after the guys that seem to be a bit of a jerk, the stereotypical jock (many of whom I have met), the guy that likes to occasionally grab some ass when a girl walks down the hall, or the guy that likes to make jokes at other people's expense, watch out. Usually one of several things (if not more) is happening.

1. She ain' NEAR grown up yet.

2. She's most likely got problems, STARTING with self esteem.

Yeah, there are girls like that. I was walking down the hall after school last year and a guy grabbed a girl's ass. This guy is a rude prejudiced sexist jerk. And by rude I don't mean the locker room humor, I mean he's an asshole. But his parents (like most people at that school) have money. He's not terrible looking, but he's def. not much above average. (Sounds shallow I know, but there it is. This IS high school here.)

Three other girls were standing nearby, and I nearly fell over when I heard what they said. "I wish Alan would grab me like that." I mean for chrissake you gotta have a little self-respect...

But then again, I'm not really a typical woman either. So.. *shrug*

leat hacksaw · Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2001 4:43 am

ooooh....know how you feel, jucas.

well - it was very interesting anyways, and im sure you'll find someone else

micke · Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2001 9:15 am

Interresting thread.
I really enjoyed reading through it all.

Recently i've had some rather unpleasant and most disturbing experiences, but i'm not sure if i'm ready to share'em yet, i'm too pissed off and depressed at the moment. *sniff*

I could put it this way:
Ended up throwing out all her belongings
out the window yesterday.

[ July 31, 2001: Message edited by: micke ]

Vgta · Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2001 10:14 am

Jucas buddy that was one hell of a trip ma boy, sucks that it didn't work out but for what it was I think you had a great time.
I know where you are coming from so I understand how you feel. Way to go.

Loki!!!!! you still owes us the rest of the story man.

Lunatique · Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2001 8:22 pm

It's ok, Jucas. We have all been there, getting the "let's just be friends" talk. It's really very simple: she digs you, but not in a romantic way. That doesn't mean she can't care very much for you though. You could end up being very close friends(if you can get over the hurt).
Better luck next time, brother!

Micke- Aw, man! I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm cringing right now as I imagine what she could've done that was so horrible. . .. I understand the pain! The one girl I really loved and believed loved me back with the same intensity ended up betraying me. Boy, do I know the pain!

[ July 31, 2001: Message edited by: Lunatique ]

Starman · Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2001 5:17 am

bud, tis a bitchha

ull get over it but

Its so fun, females that give u the world then simply say oh we are friends.....