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Jezebel · Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2001 11:46 pm

Congratz on finding someone you really care about Luci, but unfortunately I gotta back up what Socar said. Many of my friends got married before they were 19 and are now struggling through really bad marriages. My best friend had never lived with her husband previously (they had known eachother a couple of months before they married) and now she realizes that he's a, "Get back in the kitchen a made me some food, bitch." kind of guy. And he now realizes she's a, "You're not allowed to hang out with your friends or I'll claw your eyeballs out with my acryllic nails." kinda gal :P

They get into fist fights regularly, they are always mad at eachother... when we get dinner it's always awkward because they are both hissing and spitting at one another. Another two people I knew in HS who got married are now divorced (and they are single mothers now). And even my parents both married their "high school sweethearts" without really thinking. Then they got divorced and met eachother years later, lived together for a while and things are great.

I've been living with my boyfriend for over a year now. It's wonderful, I think we really click (fortunately). But I'm not sure how well we would have done with the added burden of marriage thrown onto our backs. Trust me, life is SOOOOOO much different with a person when you see them everyday. If you have siblings, you probably have a pretty good idea of how hairy things can get sometimes.

Beth

HawkOne · Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2001 11:49 pm

Congratulations !!! ( In Wonderland )

Now a reality check - A hot Internet friendship is just a shadow of a start, not something to base a marriage on.

I could understand marriage at 16 (to a certain extent) if you were a native from a secluded Tibetan valley where people live like they have done for the past 1000 years. But, you're not.
You've probably watched a couple (thousand) shows on TV or cinema where the main theme is love, and how difficult and complex a thing like a relationship really is, and that it is something that is hard to grasp even for mature adults. Adults know a LOT more than a teenager do, however smart you think you are.

I've known some guys whose sport was to take advantage of naive gullible and blue-eyed girls (like yourself ?) who had a desire to try to enter the ranks of adulthood 4-5 years early.
Where I grew up, I saw 13-14 year old girls from my class going for whatever sleazy looking unemployed twentysomething thug who was hanging out outside the school with his shitty old tuned up car. That was all that mattered to them, transportation. I'm sure you've seen this yourself.

Age difference - if the guy is more than 2-3 years older than you, you'll be extremely lucky if you are able to keep conversation on a stimulating level, unless he's a bit slow, in which case you should be fine.

Marriage - is it really worth a damn nowadays, ask Liz Taylor, or Madonna, or Lisa Marie Presley, Prince Charles, Bill Clinton or just about any other person in the media (above 16). Or, if you're really stupid, ask the Pope, if you want to feed more nonsensical medieval utopian dreamy horseshit into your young impressionable mind.

A Relationship - Do you know if you can handle snoring, farting, bad personal hygiene, smelly shoes, toilet seats up/down, cap on toothpaste, who does the dishes, who makes the food, who pays for the food, who buys the food, who pays the bills, who gets the car, pills or condoms, is sexdrive compatible, child or no child, likes different TV programmes, likes to hang out with the same friends (or does he leave you at home, to drink beer with his buddies, in a place where you are to young to enter), or whatever other shit that will only be uncovered after maybe years of a relationship.
These are only a few examples of what goes wrong with relationships that are rushed into, because they are not immediately apparent, there are countless more. This is what dating is for, dating for many months, sleepovers, hanky panky, and just hanging out together IN PERSON, not in writing.

Internet relationships are not much different from personals in newspapers, you may feel intrigued by a persons words in letters, especially if he is older, more experienced (read : smarter) than you will be in another say 4 years. As you get older, the age gap will slowly disappear, 16+22 is probably not gonna work, where as 22+28 might very well work. The threshold you will cross during the next 3-4 years is a pretty huge one, and you do now not seem to even comprehend what people in this thread are trying to tell you.

I'd say that most of the advise provided in this thread is totally spot on, and I really hope that you will read and try to understand that we're not just wasting our time providing you with empty waffle.

Another thing, how can your parents let this happen, they are the ones who should be telling you all this, or are they the reason why you want to get the hell out, at any cost.

Usually a 16 year old girl should just continue to dream about horses for a while, and the latest N'Sync crap, what to wear, while her mind slowly starts to grasp that not every door that opens up, should be entered, or alternatively, take a dangerous chance, grow up fast. Start by reading and carefully considering the good advice given to you in this thread. If you understand what people are telling you, and admit the risks, you are already a year older.

Life is tough, but it will be even tougher if you are rushed into unfamiliar situations.

I hope you choose wisely, and good luck to you.

[ July 25, 2001: Message edited by: HawkOne ]

Laemtao · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2001 12:07 pm

Hiya Luci.. after reading all the post.. i was glad to hear u are planning a long engagement. I agree with socar about being cautious..etc etc. I hope and wish u the best of luck (i hope thats not too much coming from a stranger.)

now that i gotten that out of the way..
Hawkone.. why did u have to drag the Pope into this?

quote

Quote:

Or, if you're really stupid, ask the Pope, if you want to feed more nonsensical medieval utopian dreamy horseshit into your young impressionable mind.

What the hell was all that? pls tell me what nonsensical medieval utopian dreamy horseshit has the Pope "fed" to young impressionable minds? I'd like to know .

--------
mo

Impaler · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2001 12:14 pm

Heh. I just saw the Pope crack. Now THAT is funny.

Hawkone: IQ doesn't change, you know, no matter how manty times I read your posts.

Jezebel · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2001 12:19 pm

Lukias - The one mentioned in Luci's original post =)

Perplexer · member Member # Joined: 07 May 2001 Posts: 55

luci, if you two really manage to hold on to yourselves till after marriage at age 21 I swear if we're both still posting at sijun I'll send you a box of becks-beer (beer might be a dumb present, but hey, I like becks beer and I like to give stuff that I like).

anyways, I am betting TWO boxes of becks on luci and her fiancee NOT waiting till after marriage. anyone here who likes to take this on?

hawkone: i wish i had you as a dad

impaler: LOL... been reading some of your wisdom in all kinds of threats. gotta say i dig your sense of humor

Briareos · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2001 3:45 pm

This is really weird......

faustgfx · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2001 3:55 pm

she looks really nice though.

hmmm.

*shrugs and goes back to massacring people in max payne*

Luci · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2001 6:15 pm

faustgfx - Who? Me?

faustgfx · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 12:19 am

definitely.

faustgfx · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 12:31 am

(sorry, i'd say more, but i have to keep it real discreet or someone here will think that i have human emotions and all that crap in me and that i'm capable of being nice to someone, so don't mind me)

dr . bang · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 12:32 am

luci, why can't you just date her instead of getting married? I'm just curious

faustgfx · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 12:36 am

dr.bang- 'her'? luci's the she. (i think/hope. if not, then i hope in the name of all the virtuous and good there is left in this world that i find it out pretty soon, so i can edit my post away, i will never ever even jokingly say that stuff to a man!)

edit, i just noticed that "bang-her?" looks a bit bad, so i changed it to "dr.bang- 'her'?". *nods*

[ July 27, 2001: Message edited by: faustgfx ]

dr . bang · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 12:40 am

oops, sorry, i clicked on her profile and it directed me through a webcam of a guy so i assume shes a guy! Sorry fdasklfasdfjasl;jfasld

faustgfx · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 12:45 am

*slaps dr.bang*

but yeah. i'd have to say she's the cutest looking girl to ever lurk this forum. in addition to my personal long time favourites such as enayla, naturally. *i can already sense the sea of bitchslaps flying my way*

[ July 27, 2001: Message edited by: faustgfx ]

Luci · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 2:06 am

rofl!!

why thankyou faust.. I was having a debate about guys checking me out with my fiance, I seriously don't think guys check me out.. ah well, that's probably going to be the next topic that comes into line

Mime · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 3:17 am

lol faust, you are hopeless

congratulations luci, you and your fiance are a great looking couple, i wish it will work as you want.

edit : removed some controversary stuff that would have made people think that i am actually faustgfx's friend.

[ July 27, 2001: Message edited by: Mime ]

faustgfx · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 9:26 am

sowwy. couldn't help it.

mine, if i was you, i wouldn't talk. mr forum gigolo girl stalker.

[ July 27, 2001: Message edited by: faustgfx ]

Luci · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 1:00 pm

Aww, don't say sorry faust, I thought it was cute

Lemur-X · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 1:06 pm

Congrats, and best of luck.

Got a date for the wedding?

Heh.

--Steve

faustgfx · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 1:24 pm

*blink*

Luci · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 1:32 pm

Well I did!!

faustgfx · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 1:44 pm

i'm quite far from cute. in many ways.

faustgfx · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 7:35 pm

erm. mime. not mine. i don't want him.

Mime · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2001 7:38 pm

*bluff mode on*
i dont have the slightest clue of what you may be possibily talking about faust, really
*bluff mode off*

=]

Freddio · Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2001 3:15 am

Im sorry... I just find the whole marriage thing rather pathetic, I couldnt stand to be stuck with one person since the age of sixteen. You are tied up now. You only see him like once or twice a year. You should be goin out to parties and metin boys and stuff..

Instead you are tied onto this dude..

You seem like a nice person but I dont belive that you can really know someone until you have been physically around them for a few years..

Even some of my closest friends im still seeing new sides to their personality.

So in theory you will ever have sex with one person in your whole life.. (you would better hope he is good hehe

)\\ And he may cheat there is absolutely know way you would find out. And he is 18 do you think he will cease all sexual relations for 5 years)
I dont know..

I feel the -'s far out way the +'s

although im not you so i dont really know the situation..

well then good luck with it. Be sure to post the wedding photos in 5 years time. heh

Briareos · Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2001 3:37 am

This is really really weird...

faustgfx · Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2001 1:28 pm

but she's damn cute..