Sijun Forums :: View topic - A Sci-Fi Girls Sunset (C&C most welcome)

Switch · Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 7:28 pm

Hi everyone.

I need some crits on my work badly. You wont be wasting your time if you crit this because I really want to keep improving.

The pic began as a quick sketch then it took about ten hours in photoshop with a wacom, using round brushes and the smudge tool.

There's no real story or concept behind the pic. I just tried to get some good forms on the girl and interesting lighting.

Is there anything I can improve on??

thanks for your time.

(edit,spelling.sorry)

[ December 11, 2001: Message edited by: Switch ]

bld · Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 9:51 pm

I like it. *bump*

nomad · Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 9:58 pm

I like the colour scheme & lighting, nice hightlights on the visor & suit.
As for crits...the rock fades out behind her - this is sort of confusing. Some more really stark shadows (like the ones on the city in the bg) would look better than soft ones, I think.
That's my 2 cents - nice pic & good luck :-)

Switch · Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 2:55 am

Thanks Guys, i see what you mean with the rock rustriva, I'll see what I can do about that.

Thanks for the bump too bld I thought Id be off the page in no time.

Crits still most welcome, thanks.

Marvel · Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 6:11 am

That girl sure looks slick, I like the pic a lot. But as for any suggestions, I'd make her visor smaller, i.e. put it closer to her face and remove/improve/edit the support on the top of it. Also it feels with that much hair her head is a bit short - the back of the head (as well as the face-side) could/should be a bit further off. All in all I'd add one layer of detail into stuff (like the shoes) to make the pic have a even more finished look. Oh .. perhaps her right elbow could be a bit more visible, so that you could see the hand and that she's leaning.

Am I making any sense in here?

Metz · Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 9:56 am

nice,
i like the contrast and its a good comosition imo.

Marvel - aren't you always making sense

Switch · Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 5:28 pm

Thankyou Marvel I think I understand your crits I actually brought her face in a tiny bit because I thought it would look cool to have the visors glass effect it's shape in some way. But I think your right, it makes her head a bit 'shallow' looking.

And I see what you mean about upping my detail level a bit also. Thanks very much for the crit.

Steven Stahlberg · Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 10:08 pm

Very good, clean, slick, like the colors, the clouds, the composition...
But the ankle bends - a bit too much for me.
And the torso - the spine should be a single C shaped curve I think, not having the lumbar section curving the other way. At the very least it should be flat. And both arms should be in a similar position, either both in front, or both behind. The pose now looks like she's uncomfortable, like she just felt a pebble cutting into her butt and she's trying to shift position. But I'm guessing you were going for something more contemplative? Well if not ignore that crit.

(Oh, and that highlight in the visor wouldn't be there, if the lightsource is higher than the horizon.)

wus · Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 10:58 pm

i love the feeling of this.

the only crit i can see (and maybe i'm wrong) is that her feet look like her ankles are bending too far. her feet are splayed. cover up the top of her left leg and her foot/ankle looks like it's her right foot with her legs crossed.

that's the only thing that really stood out to me.

hope it helps!

palladia mors · Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2001 5:23 am

I like it... but it looks kinda 'flat'.
make the girl more 3-d and put some depth in the middle of the background and you've got a superb pic!