Sijun Forums Forum Index
Log in to check your private messages
My Profile Search Who's Online Member List FAQ Register Login Sijun Forums Forum Index

This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.
   Sijun Forums Forum Index >> Gallery/Finished Work
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author   Topic : "Just finished a new Illustration / please critique"
Kamal
member


Member #
Joined: 21 Nov 2001
Posts: 143

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2001 2:20 pm     Reply with quote
Hi All!,

Just finished this illustraiton last night. Actually, I'm still going to go back in there and refine some of the details, but before doing so, I would like to get your feedback, whether it be complementive or constructive. It's all good.

thanks!

Kamal

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Soulfuct
member


Member #
Joined: 20 Nov 2001
Posts: 120
Location: Toronto

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2001 2:41 pm     Reply with quote
I think this is really gorgeous.
It has a Dry dark feel...wow...
the moon looks too big though ehehhe

[ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: Soulfuct ]
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Belisarius
member


Member #
Joined: 23 Jun 2000
Posts: 61
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2001 3:10 pm     Reply with quote
Amazing,

maybe if you put a few people on that rocky ridge? It looks very empty...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Malachi Maloney
member


Member #
Joined: 16 Oct 2001
Posts: 942
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2001 3:11 pm     Reply with quote
This is actually a nice piece. The lighting works very well.
Just a few small crits~
1) While the castle and the hill it's on are rendered in a very realistic manner, the mountains behind it seem a little sketchy.
2) The willow tree in the foreground, it's "leaves" seem almost like a really thick concentrated rain storm. =/ I think that's due to the fact that they all fall in a strait line, it seems like too much of a pattern. Maybe, add some leaves/branches falling at slightly different angles. I think that would give the tree a much more natural look.
3) I realize the fire is going out and it's down to a small bit of burning coals, but I think that some of the ambient lighting from the coals could be shown more on the ground and the side of the tree.
4) Is that a person laying beside the camp fire? Now that I look at it, it seems obvios that it is a person indeed. So, no crits there.

BTW~ The moon looks great. And I really like the clearing at the bottom of the hill.

Hope something in my ramblings was helpful. I've seen your 3D stuff (which is very nice, better than your 2D stuff in my humble opinion.), but I never offered any advice before, seeing as how 3D art really isn't my forte.

Keep it up.

Malachi
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
topeira
member


Member #
Joined: 07 Feb 2001
Posts: 553
Location: Holon, Israel

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2001 3:44 pm     Reply with quote
i think this is very well done. only a few things -
1)the comment about the leaves is true. all look like they fall in the same direction and thatlooks just wierd.
2)i dont understand what is going on near the bonfire. is that a rock? a person? a sleeping back? i dont get it.
3)the mountains on the BG look a lil like whater. too pointy. not jagged enough in my taste.

but basicall this is very very pretty. i ilke a lot
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Kamal
member


Member #
Joined: 21 Nov 2001
Posts: 143

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2001 4:14 pm     Reply with quote
COOL!
Thanks for your feedback!
That's exactly the kind of stuff I needed to hear.

1) There is a person sleeping next to the fire. You can only see his back. I'll try to do something with that to make it a bit clearer that it's a person. Any ideas?

2) I'll try to fix the willow tree. I actually liked it the way it is but I'll take your word for it.

3) Good idea, I'll make the light from the fire bounce off the tree.

4) I'll see what I can do with the mountains in the background.

thanks guys!

Kamal
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
julia
junior member


Member #
Joined: 28 Oct 2001
Posts: 20
Location: chilliwack, bc, canada

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2001 11:10 pm     Reply with quote
well, this is so cool. i t totally made me instantly think of steven kings "dark tower" series. anyone read it?? the first one, about the gunslinger in the desert, has the same feel for sure.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
PixHortHiT
member


Member #
Joined: 22 Oct 1999
Posts: 268
Location: The part of sweden closer to hell

PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2001 1:23 am     Reply with quote
About making it look like a person, If I was lying there I wouldnt want to have the moon in my eyes while sleeping, and not the glow from the fire either, I would be looking up, lying on my back.

Good job, the pic really gives off a feel of tranquility.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
F�anor
junior member


Member #
Joined: 08 Mar 2001
Posts: 4
Location: Enumclaw, WA, USA

PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2001 3:20 pm     Reply with quote
Fantastic atmosphere and excellant shaping of the foreground rocks. This is the kind of thing that I like to see, something that keeps my eye wandering for a while searching out things in the distance.

Two things- the leaves on the willow tree are too...uniformly dense. Even a dense tree like a willow will have open patches and a discerneable internal branch structure. The trunk is fantastically textured, but the upper portions of the tree look like a large upward scuff.

The other critique is pretty anal, but I found the camp ledge unusually devoid of grass and shrubs, which would almost certainly be any place a willow could grow

But the rest is superb
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Kamal
member


Member #
Joined: 21 Nov 2001
Posts: 143

PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2001 10:59 pm     Reply with quote
Hi All,

thanks again for your feedback. Just wanted to let you know that I'm working on some of the things you've all been saying. To prove it I'm posting a more recent image. I've only been able to tweak the mountains in the background. For the willow tree, I think I'm gonna have to re-do the whole thing. Same goes for the guy sleeping.




Feanor, great idea regarding the grass and shrubs. I'll definitely add those.

PixHortHit, I'm glad you picked up on the tranquility aspect of the painting. That was something I was aiming for.

Julia, I'm flattered it reminds you of the Dark Tower series. I'm familiar with the books. My older brother is a big fan. I remember drooling over the illustration for it.

Topeira, Thank for the feedback.

Malachi, thanks for your extensive critique. As you can see I've already started working on the mountains in the background.

Belisarius, thanks

Soulfuct, Thanks
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
mk
member


Member #
Joined: 10 Dec 2000
Posts: 106
Location: Langen, Germany

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 2:52 am     Reply with quote
the Tree has still a very nice Hair-Cut...

dont like that much... but the rest of the Pic is great!

mk
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Display posts from previous:   
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Sijun Forums Forum Index -> Gallery/Finished Work All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum




Powered by phpBB © 2005 phpBB Group