[Zaphod]

Hello, I've just finished a scetch that I would like to have som crit on.



I also think that I should add that I was greatly inspired by this image on this page:http://www.din.or.jp/%7Ec-o/gallery/ill-heinyan.html

I borrowed the composition and some elements from the girl. But I still feel that my image is more than just a redraw. Not saying that I by any standards did do any better than the author (Kaneda?) of that image - since I think his image kicks some serious ass.

If I can find the time I might even color it in Photoshop (anyone else who want to try is free to give it a go. Drop me a mail me if you wan't a bigger scan).

[Darkmoon]

i would color it, if i wasnt pro choice... hmmm little too offensive to me...

if im getting the wrong impression here... sorry

[Zaphod]

uhmn... well... Offensive? I actually can't see what's so offensive. Maybe the name (Murderous bitch). But that was more or less invented to draw some attention. Since I don't get many replies normally and don't post very often (I read the forum on a daily basis tho).

But what do you think about it?
No crits at all? Did I borrow too much from the other image? Or what? Anything is better than nothing.

[Muzman]

Psst; he think's she's stabbing herself in the stomach

-edit- (oh wait, it's Darkmoon) err that is she (Darkmoon) thinks she (the picture) might be stabbing herself in the stomach ("herself" being the picture, not Darkmoon) Hence "murderous", or the possible implications thereof and the reference to pro choice.
This got confusing in a hurry.

[ June 16, 2001: Message edited by: Muzman ]

[Zaphod]

Oh... I see. Well, for the record. This is not an act of harakiri (or however you spell japanese ritual suicide). She's just chilling out with her knife... umh... or something. I don't know. Use your fanatsy.

BUT I WANT CRITS! pls?
How come that ppl responds, but don't give any crits?!

[pixualize]

Okay - a couple of crits:
1)Define the hands a little more clearly
2)She seems to lean a little too far left in relation to the direction of the knees.
(that may just be the scan though)

Othewise I really dig the outfit and the way you drew the little creases in the pants and clothing. I also like the shape and proportions of her figure, very natural.

[fuddo]

Nothing appeals to me about this picture.

[Zaphod]

fuddo: I'm sorry, but that's just plain stupid. In what way is your comment supposed to help me? It's like saying "I think the world sucks". Sure, the world sucks in many ways. But exactly what makes it suck, and how can we change it? And still, while there is numerous of things that makes the world suck, there is still alot of elements that makes it wonderful.

Get my point?

pixualize: thankyou very much for your crits. I agree that the hands need some more work.But I don't agree entierly about her leaning left. A little maybe. But her right leg is behind her left. And if you try and walk around a little you'll notice that you place you feets centerd in front of you and lean a little to the opposite direction of the foot your weight is on to counterbalance the slight tipping you get from standing on one foot.

Also to me she looks like she's just starting out in a run. But haven't quite achived running speed. But that might not be noticeable when you haven't actually drawn the picture

Also! I want more crits!

[Zaphod]

I just noticed that I forgot to draw out the shadow from the knife on her belly (wich may have caused some misunderstandings). Anyways, until I have time to do it: The knife is supposed to point towards our point of view. So she's not commiting suicide.

now it's time for zzzleeeeeeep.......

[Seraphire]

Swipe vs homage... You credited the original. Good enough for me.


I got the same impression about the knife. It does look as though she is stabbing herself. And you telling me she isn't, isn't changing the fact, that is what it looks like. (I love doing that with words.)

The position that her hands are in would line the knife out more. The knife's blade is reaching down far too much. With her hands like that, we should barely be able to see the blade. It needs to be pointing right at us.

Her face. Zero expression. Is that really what you want? An air of indifferance can be powerful, but is that what you want?

The legs. The legs are in an odd position. Think about balance and posture. She should have a solid stance. Not the weak, unsure positioning that is represented.

Nice hatching on the legs.

[Zaphod]

I changed the picture a little.
I'm getting bad crits from all over the place (I DO appericiate your crits tho! Don't stop). All my friends agree that she's fat as a waterbuffalo. I really can't see how. But still.

Her lower hand is a angeled little more downwards comparing to the top one. So her right hand is sort of pushing the knife forwards and her lower hand is holding the knife, still I agree. The knife should be pointing more towards us. I've updated the picture with that, but I have to eat before I can scan it.

As for her face. Well intentional or not, I kinda like it the way it is. It's like she's in a trance or something.

And she's starting out in a run. So she's supposed to be unbalanced. Her left leg (her pov) is in the middle of the air in the picture. Might not be easy to see since you can't see her lower legs (me adding those wierd lines at the bottom doesn't help either)

anyways, thankyou for the crit. You're helping me alot!

[Darkglade]

Good drawing. The knife is not clear enough. It does not look sharp enough either. It's just a small compositional error, I believe you can fix it in 5 minuites, so it isn't a problem. As for the stomach stabbing. It does not look like that, but if even 1 person sees that you should redefine the knife. You can do this through shading. Fuddo's comment is a 'nonce' comment. Ignore it. you're drawing is good, it appeals to me.

[Darkglade]

You posted the above reply whilst I was typing I think. Please ignore the part about the knife. Thanks.
(edit-typo)

[ June 17, 2001: Message edited by: Darkglade ]

[Zaphod]

I've updated the image now. Supposedly she's not as fat anymore (?) Well... I don't know if I like it much better. The knife is fixed anyhow.

[Zaphod]

Thank you for your crits Darkglade.
I've done some more now. If you read this tell me what you think.

I looked at your site but I couldn't see any images i your gallery? Is it just my browser screwing it up? Since there was a big area where the thumbnails should have been.

[Sc00p-]

1. It wouldn't look like she was stabbing herself if you used proper perspective and didn't have a hooked blade on the knife. It looks a little better now, but it's not quite there.

2. Some emotion in her would help, and the dead-on-angle isn't helping either. You should turn her body a bit instead of showing her front dead on, so it's more interesting. Also, putting her head down a bit more will instantly make her more evil by about 50%.

Anyway, I still think this is a good drawing, I especially love the knee area (looks like this is where you spent most of the time drawing) and I like the shading style, although it could be cleaned up a bit.

PS: And what would it matter if she was "fat"? Never hurts to make someone look realistic.

[Sc00p-]

Oh and by the way...


*shhhhhhhhhh*


...but if you keep fixing up this pic so much, it's not exactly "finished work" is it? :)

[ June 17, 2001: Message edited by: Sc00p- ]

[Darkglade]

No Zaphod you browser is fine, my site is up but I havent enough concept work to post. It should start filling up soon. I'm working with a writer or the next project.

To be quite honest I cannot see any major differences in the knife. Email me the bigger scan and I'll try a colour and see if I can fix the knife, it's a tricky point of view you have chosen to show the knife, it could be an optical illusion as to why it looks a little strange.

[Zaphod]

sc00p: Yeah, I agree. I shouldn't change it so much. Since it's still just a scetch and wasn't supposed to be a finished artpiece. If I colour it, I will post it the wip-forum (I'll post a link here to the other thread if it comes to that tho).

edit: Actually, the knee area where one of the parts that came out the fastest. Maybe that's why I also like it.

and about her being fat, well... one of my friends first question was "Is it a male or a female?". Not that they where dead serious. But still.

Darkglade: well, if you look at the first pic and the second you should be able to se the difference in the angle of the knife. That's the only thing I changed. I took away some of the shadows on her belly too.

I have mailed you a bigger ver now (300dpi). Sorry for not getting it away before, but dail-up is crap when it comes to sending files. :/

Keep the crits coming. If I'll decide to colour it I need it! (And check back here anyways, because Darkglade seems to want to colour it atleast )

[ June 17, 2001: Message edited by: Zaphod ]

[Darkglade]

1. This is a Murderous Bitch
2. Rushed it and it turned out crap/ optimise jpeg altered the colour a little.



[ June 17, 2001: Message edited by: Darkglade ]

[Zaphod]

Cool! I like the choise of colours. I hadn't thought of it that way.
I think you did a good job on her jacket.
With the dark mood she also got a much more serious face. Actually I tried to do some coloring myself. But it didn't turn out that good. I tried a new technique/approach (for me atleast) and I weren't too happy with the result. :/

I'll do some C++ programming(/learning) and get back to it tomorrow. That usually gives me a nice contrast to make me more motivated.

[Akolyte]

grandma?

[Darkglade]

I'm actually really dissappointed with that. It's a mixture of different techniques, started well, but I lost patience and ruined it. You should post yours...

[Zaphod]

I'll try to make a new one tomorrow or tonight.

[Darkmoon]

I should check this like 4 times everyday... silly forum... ok, what i got from your first picture, was murderous bitch, as in she was trying to carve and kill the baby in her tummy. which means yes, she looked as fat as a whale, and it looked like she was going to give herself a makeshift c-section which in itself would still be a power picture, but since your intention was NOTHING like that hehehe ill have to RECRIT this pic


her torso is too long, make it look funny... her face, meh who needs expression hehehe
its a good sketch, you just have to maybe sketch out a structure underneath next time, make the torso right.... from the waist down i like the best.

the postuion you have her in... its hard to tell the knife is pointing towards us, unless you tell us first... i dunno how you could fix that, im horrid with perspective myself...

maybe now i that i know you werent being mean and saying girls who get abortions are murderous bitches, i might color this any colors you had in mind?

[Zaphod]

Ah, oh no! I'm all for abortion and women's right to decide over their own bodies (men's rights alike for that matter).
Lol. I see now why you gave such a harsh reply. I would probably would have replied likewise too, if I had seen it and intepreted it like that.

You tend go blind when you look at a picture too long and build it up, I guess.

Anyways thank you for you very valid crit. I actually hadn't thought about her torso being to long. But now when you mention it I can see it quite clearly. Her whole lower body should be moved up to just under the navel. Altho, if I'm not enriely mistaken, I think women do actually have longer tummies than men. Maybe just not quite this long .

I agree, the knife is a real pain in the backside to get right. I don't know how to make it entierly right.

If you want to color it you're more than welcome. I really suck at colouring so I'm open to anyone who want to give it a go and inspier and teach me. Use what colours you like. It would be cool to see how it looks with other colours than Darkglade used tho (just to see the difference). If you want to I can send you a bigger scan (300dpi, this ver you see here is 33,3% of that). Just drop me a mail at: [email protected]

Also for all of you who have read all the way down here (there might be someone) I've a special treat just for you! Tomte mannen!umh... if you're a swede you might understand, then again you most likley might not

[Peaches]

i don't think it is offensive unless she is trying to kill her unborn child. but i think it has nothin to do with that- it's just a "murderous bitch" like any other. anyway, cool sketch.