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Shinsetsu · Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2001 10:25 pm

Hello! Check out my new online comic book at http://www.hanzoinshortsleeves.com

Any critiques and comments are welcomed. This is my first post here. Be honest. I'm looking to get published, and I need the feedback.

If the link doesn't work, just type it directly into your address bar. That should do it.

Flexible Elf · Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2001 12:29 am

I like it. Your storytelling is pretty solid (reminds me a little of Yojimbo at the beginning

). My only beefs with it are that the coloring seems to jump styles from page to page at times and the people don't look real Japanese

You have a lot of work put into this. Keep it up. I like it.

Also if you like there are some real nice free comic fonts at:
http://piekosarts.com/blambotfonts/

-Flexible Elf

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http://www.geocities.com/flexible_elf/Main.html

Shinsetsu · Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2001 1:22 pm

Thanks. Yes, the only real Japanese guy in there is the old man at the beginning.
Were there any frames in particular that just seemed to not fit the overall coloring style at all? If you'd like to email me directly with more in depth criticism, I'd appreciate it. Thanks for taking the time.

Awetopsy · Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2001 1:47 pm

Honestly I really like it. You have a few anatomy issues (more specifically with the female figure) that you need to work on.. and some perspective issues.. like in the picture of the back of the guys head and the building in front of him.. but all in all it was quite a good read.. It left me wanting more..

I would suggest going to http://www.antsin3d.com/loomis/ and reading through these tutorials..

that said I really wanna see much more of this comic.. I love the comic medium and this is right up my alley. Im not a big manga guy but this works..

keep it up..

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Freeze, This is a holdup!! Give me all your Talent!!!

Lukias · Guest Member #

Yeah nice work, you've spent some time on this.
I like the amount of panels, seems you put a few in that others may not have, just for extra build up.
Nice pics in general.

Welcome to the board.

adm_soul · Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2001 3:42 pm

I have the original of that Andrew Loomis book. Its one of the best books on art i have ever read. Keep up the good work!

Shinsetsu · Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2001 5:08 pm

Thanks everyone, for the reference and feedback. You guys are great!

cptoonz · Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2001 8:57 pm

Shinsetsu,

i really like the way the sequentials moved the story along, and to be honest i was gripped by it...i particularly like the way you rolled to the flashback. nice job, let us know when there is more...hell of a cliffhanger!

peace,
cp

Fate · member Member # Joined: 16 Mar 2001 Posts: 168

Wow, great work sir, you did some amazing job creating that atmoshpere. I particularly liked the way how the snow fall and the snowy mountains in the background set that tense yet calm and peaceful atmosphere. I simply love the use of colour in this comic.
though I am no good, I would like to give some crit if I may. I think all is good except there are quite a number of anatomy issues. Usually in the close up of the characters. Female characters look a bit akward at times. Very few places where the angle of view and composition doesn't match out well.
All in all, I think you are on your way to success sir. I hope we will be able to see more of your work.

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Fate decides it all

Shinsetsu · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2001 12:03 am

Just put a new update on the site. Enjoy & comment/critique if you wish.

Shinsetsu · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2001 3:59 pm

Thanks again guys. The newest update was a few panels just a few days ago, and more is coming this weekend. I'll try to improve as I go forward.

stneil777 · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2001 6:21 pm

i dont know man it lacks dialog

Shinsetsu · Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2001 10:19 am

Got another new update on the site! Check it out! The dialog is coming, believe me. For now, the only speech going on is the poetry of battle.

BTW, I didn't think a dialog stickler would have given me such a brief response. Thanks for the critiques. Give me more!

Shinsetsu · Posted: Mon May 07, 2001 3:35 pm

Hello, everyone! It's update time! I hope you all like what you see. Let me know what you think.
http://www.hanzoinshortsleeves.com

sacrelicious · Posted: Mon May 07, 2001 6:13 pm

Again, awesome stuff! I think it would benefit from darker lines- I'm not sure if you ink them or not, but either way you could adjust the contrast or levels to achieve a darker line with more *pop*- without changing the coloring, of course. This would help make the action less "dirty" or vague while keeping the cool muted sepia look. But I love your action and characters and ideas! Looking forward to more.