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Blitz · Posted: Wed May 16, 2001 11:03 pm

RESUME

Skills:
I can Kinda-sorta draw stuff
I can draw green monkeys with the best of them
I can only texture 3D models if I like the modeler
I can only model if there is a cheerleading team giveing me suport
I am versed in C, C+, C++, C-1, C+5 Html, Java, Swearing, and 4play

Education:
Middle school
Worked the systom to pass high school
5 years of Hokd On Foniks
Cheated to pass College and earn a degree
3 more years of Hoked On Foniks

What I can bring to your company:
I am very easy to get along with if you do what I tell you to
I always bring enough beer for everyone
Never date anyone in the work place with out sleeping with them first.
I have a great ass
Ive been known to work in the nude...(its a self clensing thing)
I can only come to work in the car you bye me
I work alone

schabe · Posted: Thu May 17, 2001 10:50 am

typical 'true artist syndrom', right ?

Blitz · Posted: Thu May 17, 2001 2:24 pm

hehe...=)

Lunatique · Posted: Thu May 17, 2001 3:28 pm

You are just what we need!!!

How's $100,000 annual salary sound?

Socar MYLES · Posted: Thu May 17, 2001 3:31 pm

Here's mine:

Skills:
STEADY HAND--I can draw a very long, very straight line without a ruler. I can also copy very small, fine details exactly. This makes me an excellent candidate for any position involving counterfeit or forgery.
GOOD MEMORY--I have an excellent selective memory. Therefore, I will remember exactly WHERE to drop off the contraband and pick up the money, but I won't remember who I did the exchange with.
IMPERTURBABLE--Dead bodies and nasty wounds don't upset me. I also have a bit of medical knowledge, thanks to a boring university program I once attended. So I can get those pesky bullets out of your back without puking on your head.
FORGETTABLE--I look pretty ordinary, and very innocent, so I can get into places ordinary criminals can't, and nobody will spare me a second glance.
NOT THAT INNOCENT--And if all else fails, you can ensure my silence concerning your criminal activities by...blackmailing me.

Education:
3.5 years of microbiology...
...and 3.5 years (going on 4) of art school. See STEADY HAND.

What I can bring to your company:
What, apart from my undeniable charm and good looks? Well, I'm not a bad liar, and I'm GREAT at prevarication, which makes me the ideal candidate for either public office or upper management. I don't know how to drive a car, but I'm still the soul of punctuality, thanks to Yellow Cab and the fact that I always leave insanely early due to a pathological fear of being late. I never eat smelly food in the office, and I don't even bring any pets to work. In addition to these fine qualifications, I have no criminal record, and I have never smoked marijuana (or even a cigarette, for that matter).

So, what do you say, America? Do you want Socar Myles for President...?

Dr.Squirley · Posted: Thu May 17, 2001 4:39 pm

heres mine:

IQ of 146

'nuf said

SpiralEye · Posted: Thu May 17, 2001 5:21 pm

IQ of 146???

Ah, that's nothin'
What'd MENSA kick ya out for bein' cocky?
J/K

Anyhow, being smart on it's own never got me a job. Being smart AND (sorta) humble--now that works wonders.

Brainswitch · Posted: Thu May 17, 2001 6:44 pm

MY resume:
-I can't draw stuff when I want to but when I carve my initials in your desk you'll think it was done by a pro!

-I have been known by the police to carry bombs inside laptops (Seriously, true story)

-I can scare little annoying kids on Istant Messanger by telling them I'm a hacker.

-I'm never too good for your money

Red Leader · Posted: Thu May 17, 2001 9:53 pm

skills:
"I have a strong grasp of the english language... though I'm still convinced my morning milk comes from cats."

...of course, I have a friend who actually lists on his resume under hobbies: "Making art, making music, and lovin' "

Blitz · Posted: Fri May 18, 2001 2:15 am

quote

Quote:

...of course, I have a friend who actually lists on his resume under hobbies: "Making art, making music, and lovin' "

Now there is a brave lad!

Lunatique · Posted: Fri May 18, 2001 6:51 am

Socar, you are too cool for Canada. They don't deserve you. Come and be one of us? Seriously. I'd hire you.

Socar MYLES · Posted: Fri May 18, 2001 5:27 pm

Oh, man--you've offered to hire me in three threads, now, Lunatique, and I would SO love to snap up that job--but I really HAVE to stay here and finish my degree. Now, if you could work things out so I could...I don't know...videoconference in to work, I could do it.... I guess not, eh?

Frost · Posted: Fri May 18, 2001 5:39 pm

quote:
Originally posted by Lunatique:
Socar, you are too cool for Canada. They don't deserve you. Come and be one of us? Seriously. I'd hire you.

Die creep.

frost/Canada

edible snowman · member Member # Joined: 12 Sep 2000 Posts: 998

ill bet lunatic lures prospective artists into his "studio"(parents bedroom) and savagely murders them. hes probably on americas most wanted. you wont "hire" me anytime soon.

Guy · Posted: Sat May 19, 2001 12:17 am

Frost: I must completely agree with your statement

Lunatique · Posted: Sat May 19, 2001 5:11 pm

Mwahahahahahahaha!

I eat Sijun kids for breakfast! Garrrrr!

Actually, I would hire many of the sijun kids in a heart beat, but I've singled out Socar because she's just recently become unemployed. If any of you kids want a job and don't mind relocating to Louisville KY, email me. The minimum requirement is that you have to have good traditional skills(for texture painting), or good 3D skills.

Well, Socar, whenever you graduate, look me up to see if I have a vacancy. Then, you can say good-bye to boring Canada.

Without the French, you'd all just be like americans! Hahahahahaha.

Red Leader · Posted: Sat May 19, 2001 7:09 pm

I'll take mountains, ocean, fresh air, and 1.5 exchange on my american paycheques over Louisville any day.

Canada rocks!