Sijun Forums :: View topic - First "real" post

Glondus · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 3:14 pm

Hey. I'm Elliot. 16 from Sweden...
First post here...quickpick...hoping it'll work...

[This message has been edited by Glondus (edited February 08, 2001).]

-marty- · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 3:40 pm

I think this is great. I really like the lighting, the folds in the pants look great.

only things id change is her right leg, I think it should drop down just a tad.

Probably show a bit more of the white in her left eye too....makes me want to practice more!

Waldo · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 5:06 pm

This is very good. I'm surprised it hasn't received more replies, but don't be discouraged. There are many members and posts have a tendency to sink very fast

As far as comments, you've captured highlights and shadows very well throughout. The lower half of her frame seems a bit heavy to me, but if that's what you were after, so be it. Also, I think her feathers are too busy and could be cleaned up a bit.

Otherwise, great job. Keep posting, you'll get feedback.

edit- And yes, what -marty- noted about the different leg lengths, too.

[This message has been edited by Waldo (edited February 08, 2001).]

Glondus · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 6:01 pm

Hey, thanks for the kind words and the crits

Marty:

quote

Quote:

Probably show a bit more of the white in her left eye too

Yeah, I know. Got a bit messed up in the inking...allthough...her whole face looks pretty awful IMHO...

Waldo:

quote:
The lower half of her frame seems a bit heavy to me, but if that's what you were after, so be it. Also, I think her feathers are too busy and could be cleaned up a bit.

What you mean by 'lower half of frame' I dont really know... but if it's the stomach/under breasts area, I just did it instinctivly...looks pretty weird to me now...but...well...I dunno..heh.
Too busy feathers? You mean they shouldn't have all those shadows? I sorta like them...hmm...

And yeah, Ive noticed one leg is too long now that I look at it...didn't really think of that before...hmm..

Waldo · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 6:19 pm

By the lower half of her frame, I'm referring to her waist and below. Her legs just seem a bit too large, but that is just my opinion. From the waist up, her torso, I personally wouldn't do a thing. And as far as the feathers are concerned, there are too many lines and they don't follow the natural structure of a wing. Wish I had some reference to post, but...

Hope that made sense. Keep it up!

n8 · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 6:23 pm

you serious??...im 18 and i cant ink if my life depended on it...mabey ive just got a dodgy pen??..eh well..i thought ur pic was pretty keew anyhow =)

Glondus · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 6:27 pm

Waldo -
Her legs are s'posed to be big. I dunno why, I just think it fits the original suburban gangmemberwannabe style (is there such a style? I dunno

). And as for the wings, they're not really meant to look real. They're just alot of feathers pasted together and attached to her shoulder with a strap...

Hm...thats really sounds like it's just a lame-ass excuse, doesn't it?

Anyway, I sorta liked the "ruffled" look of the wings...

Akolyte · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 6:39 pm

Her legs look funny because her crotch is very high, I think

Glondus · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 6:43 pm

Hey, Yeah Akolyte, I think yer right!
Should have made the croth ...thing of her pants lower down...hmm

BTW, If anyone is interested I could post the B/W version...

Dan · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 6:46 pm

her boots seem a bit undefined compared to the rest. And one thing that's not actually a crit in the drawing itself is the gun in her left hand. It looks like she's holding it a bit too much to the side. There's nothing wrong with that, but I think it'd be a bit hard to be "prepared" for anything with the gun like that cause u'd have to twist your wrist to bring it up and that'd probably throw off your aim. Maybe just angle it a little more, so we see less of the bottom of the handle, and more of the top of the gun.

Glondus · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 6:54 pm

Dan -

quote

Quote:

her boots seem a bit undefined compared to the rest

Heh, Yeah, I got bored so I didnt really work on them...

quote:
so we see less of the bottom of the handle, and more of the top of the gun.

Well, actually, you dont see anything of the bottom of the handle, it just looks like that because I mucked up the coloring... Actually thats just a little plate with a ring on it, on the underside of the handle that sticks out a bit.. But I can clearly see why you think its the underside of it you see...

[This message has been edited by Glondus (edited February 08, 2001).]

AlieN · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2001 11:44 pm

I think it looks odd because her shoulders aren't at the right angle. If you stand the way she's standing, your hips will rock to the side (which you've shown) but your shoulders will usually go at a similar angle... not a parallel angle, but the shoulders should be sloped the other way.

I like it though. I think her ribcage bulges too much under her right breast though, it should be more of a straight line.

Hurri-cane · Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2001 2:09 am

snyggt, du borde forts�tta pilla p� bilden s� att den blir 'helt' klar

</swedish>

looks good, ceep on fiddleing with it tho...

.caneman

Jezebel · Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2001 9:50 am

I like everything about this. Pretty much everything everyone else pointed out as flaws (big legs, undefined boots, position of gun, formation of wings) are all things that I think add a lot of style to this image.

It looks really great, I wouldn't change a thing

Beth

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