[good ol greenpeach]

hi, what you think of type style?

[B0b]

typeface 2 small..

[EviLToYLeT]

it looks good , but perhaps a bit too uniform..., rectangularish. Guess its okay for the itnroduction .. tranquilness and all

Looks very promising so far

[Basement bound]

I like it alot. Just keep adding detail man. Want to see it finished.

[tdenmark]

You could change the camera angle more.

Kinda has a nice "feel" to it. Not bad for a block in. The font doesn't work though.

[Revility]

mmmm i always liked painted comics. good job

Ever seen any of Alex Ross's stuff? http://www.alexrossart.com/
and theres that other guy, whats his name,
Its mark Texteria, I forgot how to say his last name .
If you like doing painted comics, maybe you can learn something from these guys works.

[good ol greenpeach]

thanks everyone, i'll show it again after i rework it.


Revility - I love both those guys, yeah. but my fav is kent williams.

HellSpawn - thanks so much. i figure i know all these things then i forget them when it's time to make decisions. i apprieciate your time spent. I'll repost in finished works later.

[Basement bound]

As I agree with Shawns comments for conventional superhero comics. I personally would not approch that style of layout unless this was going in the direction of action. I would buy this as it is going just because of the unconventional style.

thinking though, shawns comment about an estabalishing shot would be nice. Say a full page spread, with a extreme panned out shot.

Just my thoughts.

[HellSpawn]

Greetings DBK,

I like the style that you using. I wont go into crit'ing that. But what I may suggest improving is your layout.

In your page you have 4 panels. You have it layed out that each panel is an establishing shot.

When laying out comic book pages your first panel is usally an establishing shot. Which is usally bigger then the rest of the other panels on that page. You use establishing shots when you introduce the reader to a new scene (that the reader hasn't seen in your first establishing shot).

The boxes you use will aslo determin the pace / flow for the reader. A lot of small boxs will give the reader a fast action type feel, while long wide angle boxs will give the read a slower pace feel, for example.

If you check out your other panels you'll see you have a lot of background scenery in them. If your establishing shot (panel) is set up right, there is no need keep painting the same senery in the barckground. Keep the panels focus on the story.

For example. A story calls for a man leaning against a wall in an alley. The man draws a gun from his coat.

Fist panel: you set up an establishing shot the guy leaning agaist a wall in an alley. A far away shot that shows the area this guy is in.

Second panel: In the 2nd pannel there is no need to draw the alley again we the reader knows he's in an alley. Just focus on the story and just draw the mans hand reaching inside the his coat for his gun.

See where I'm going with this?

If your story was layed out for me I could give you a better example.

Also try to vary your camera angles. You seem to have the horizon line in the center of each of the panels. I would change it up some.


Last crit is to change the font your using. Spript fonts look pretty but they tend to piss people off cause there hard to read. And then you lose the intrest of your reader.

Hope that helps.

- Shawn

[ August 13, 2002: Message edited by: HellSpawn ]