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WSwingley · Posted: Sun Aug 11, 2002 3:42 pm

This is a quick initial sketch for a birthday present picture to a friend of mine. I am looking for VERY basic comments on composition and anything glaringly wrong. Yes, I know that the girl in the middle looks horrible, but I will flesh that out when I begin to do some digital fiddling. Otherwise any ideas on things to add/delete/fix before I start to work out a better sketch would help greatly! Thanks!

P.S. Sorry for the bad quality of the .jpg shrink but I didn't want to upload a huge pic.

Basement bound · Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2002 12:42 pm

Thought this might help.

WSwingley · Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2002 4:22 pm

Love the comments and I totally agree with both critiques. I am going to try and work up another quick doodle taking into account your comments. I will be throwing that corner back a bit (not quite so much as yours Odd) and lowering my center line so there isn't so much room above my subject as you said Basement. I will post a new (hopefully better) pic later tonight. Thanks guys!

WSwingley · Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2002 7:10 pm

OK guys, after using your help I have sketch number two. Hopefully I "fixed" it up a bit and I think I like it a little better (even though it has a bit less detail). Tell me what you think!

oDD · Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2002 11:47 pm

1. There are no such thing as "too small pic" ! so don't fell guilty

2. It very cool idea to give such a great present. I wish someone would draw something for me for my birthaday ehh...

3. I know NOTHING. again NOTHING about composition but i think if you want to make it look more intresting you should take a diffrent approach.

So lets get started, shall we ? (i'm praticing my english in that sentence so don't mind me) anyway. It's hard to tell what's in thins pic. And old stuffed teddy bear with beard and big eyes and he is decomposing. He is looking at some naked lady. There is a dog a neon sign. Hymnnnn.
So I don't know if i'm gettin it good but the teddy is an old present and there is a new present that the chick is about to open right ?

So the perspective is , there is No perspective in yore pic. And every thing is so alone. I ve lerned few years ago when i was doing 3d that the good thing to make pic look better is to make one thing be covered by another, i know i don't got any idea what i am talking about for the last few secounds so here is the pic.

better ?

oDD · Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2002 5:34 am

much better. Maybe there is some problem with perspective but i know about the perspective as much as about composition (nothing). When yore finish be sure to add some tehture to flor and walls to make it look more natural.

Cillian · Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2002 9:00 am

In my opinion the second one is much better than the first one, but still isn't specific enough. Either that or there is too much to look at and my eye can't take it all in...

Well I just have a couple of things...on the whole perspective thing you should just search the forums on questions of perspective and check some of the links...they will then link you off to other links and so on and so forth.

The first point as basement bound said is that you should check your eyelevel and figure out where you want your image to be. If your eyelevel is the floor and the ceiling then just looking against the wall and see how everything looks...Then you should just check your perspective points. I would pick a one point perspective first and then see if that works. Generally the perspective point is where the eye flows to, as I see it, it looks as your point is in the corner so thats where my eye leads.

"All roads lead to Rome". Same rule applies in perspective when your drawing that all lines lead to your perspective point. I've just done some quick sketches of boxes at certain places and then used the corner as a perspective point on them.

The thing is with perspective no rules are written in stone, and if you think something looks better another way you have full freedom to change it around. I would still focus more on something.

I think the picture looks just a little bare and empty. If I were to crop this image, I would look to crop it around the image of the human just to keep your eye on that side. It does seem to be the focus attention, but just not in enough focus...well these are just my thoughts...feel free to take them a C&C and use them or to ignore them completly...

I've just taken some quick lines over your drawing, just to try and clarify my points...

This is the URL... http://bleachn.sinfree.net/Kelly3.jpg