[horstenpeter]

Click here to see the original sketch

Hey everyone, this is an illustration of a poem by William Blake I am working on. It's still in early stages, some of the elements are missing and text is coming up, too. But I think I need some help with the colours, the way I have them now, the guy doesn't look like he's sleeping, he looks more like he's dead. I tried to find some reference with a similar lighting situation, but I couldn't find anything.
So any help would be appreciated.

[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: horstenpeter ]

[tek9z]

i don't think it's the lighting or colors
but more a pose problem.
his neck looks tensed and he squeezes his
eyes instead of just closing them softly.
also the cushion could be more 'fluffy'
_his head more deeply into the cushion.
maybe let some hairlocks fall on the cushion.

[Agrajag]

What tek9z said.

I even think that the squeezed eyes may work, he obviously has a nightmare. But with the already mentioned cushion issue, it looks more like he fell and hit his head on a cloth-covered brick
Another thing: Maybe it's just me, but while the upper part of his face seems to be in pain, his mouth seems to form a little smile, hehe...

But: This can become a very strong piece. The colors and the facial expression convey a very uncomfortable mood, which is probably what you're aiming for. Looking forward to seeing it finished!

[oDD]

i'm not a great artist and i don't have big art knowledge so my advise isn't worth much , but when i saw your picture i wanted to tweak it. Now at least you know how NOT to change your pic.



- added some ligth
- i thiink the blue colors make the scene look cold , cold body = dead body
- changed his mouth and pillow

[horstenpeter]

Thanks for the comments, tek9z, Agrajag.
I'll post an updated version on Thursday at the latest, and that will include changes to the pose and the poem text. I'll try to incorporate what you said.
Super busy these days with photography stuff and some personal life things.

oDD, thanks for taking the effort of doing an overpaint. It's a bit of a diferent direction of what I was going for, but I appreciate your taking the time

[horstenpeter]

Hey everyone, here is the latest version, I tried to include the advice you people gave, plus I put in the last elements (the text is gonna be nicer in the finished version ). What do you think of the direction I'm heading ? Any advice on how to finish it up ?