[cptoonz]

Howdy,

Have posted this elsewhere, just wanted to see if I could get some more/different feedback. All c&c appreciated.

*Original sketch, here*

[ May 04, 2002: Message edited by: cptoonz ]

[ May 04, 2002: Message edited by: cptoonz ]

[ May 04, 2002: Message edited by: cptoonz ]

[laslauk]

geez, she's beautiful.. the feather's are transparent, but I guess you know that. Just wondering what part of her back are the wings connected, they don't seem to align with the body very well. Anyways, beautiful work.

[cptoonz]

laslauk,

thanks, much appreciated I was going for the attachment point below her shoulder blades...with the perspective the way it is I had some trouble with the wing/spine line up. not sure how I can fix it, but I'll try. thanks again!

[laslauk]

I'm not a pro with perspectives, but I really like the composition when the wings point out the way they do. So maybe I'd try to jerk the shoulders into the direction with the wings ie. her right shoulder down and left one up.. Just a suggestion, I hope it doesn't ruin the balance

[cptoonz]

Gotcha! I think the shoulder shift will work well, thanks man Oh, yes, I am planning for the feathers to kind of be transparent energy stuff (kind of like EVE, but uhm, different ) Thanks again for the suggestion!

[tyron]

wonderful, simply wonderful.

[arkoh]

No no no... Dont touch the shoulders!!!

The shoulders are awesome, well actually the entire pose is really awesome... extremely dynamic! The problem is in no way with the perspective of the shoulders/torso! The wings on the other side, are way of perspective!!

I simply cannot believe that you've succeded with getting the body right in this pose you've pulled off here, and missed the wings like that!

Try to draw a guideline running trough her shoulders, one running trough her hips, notice where these cross to the right of the castle and find the tilt on the wings from this point. Then draw one running through her spine and find the crossing with the line from the other crossing point and that'll be where the wings main join will be located. You'll see that how you've drawn'em now this joint is off to the left, by quite a bit!!! The wings you've done would probably fit someone standing up with only one point perspective effect! Not the three you're attempting!!!

I kind of feel bad about trying to point you towards the use of right perspective since the way the pose is done tells me everything about the fact that you're no beginner at this, and very well know what it is you're doing!

One last thing... compared to the refinement of the body and the guns, I think the rocks/the hillside on the left is done too sloppy! And btw... by lifting the castle upwards you'll add to the drama of the perspective makin a better composition I would believe!

Keep us updated!!! Nice job!!!

[cptoonz]

tyron,

thank you kindly, I really appreciate it

arkoh,

thanks for the time you took with your response and your critique. first, don't feel bad about critiqueing this, that's why I posted it human anatomy/dynamic-poses/composition is something that I do work on...whether or not I know what I am doing is up to the beholder, but thank you, regardless. Now as far as adding something like wings, in this kind of perspective, is a big step for me. as well, I have never yet to date rendered up (pencil or otherwise) the landscape to the extent I did here. so I am pushing myself here. to be honest, I don't completely understand your explanation and process, but I tried to do a "redline", here to see if I could see what you were saying:

*redline/blueline*

i agree with you on the castle point, but I was torn between pushing it out to create a sense of the breadth of the canyon/abyss and bringing it in tighter with a more dramatic view. I chose the former, but it would add drama to raise it up.

with that posted, I also sketched what I was thinking with the way the wings were oriented to her body. I feel that the wings will angle back from her torso, both laterally and vertically...like so:

*wing position sketchery*

any thoughts on this would be appreciated, and I haven't done anything to the pic so far, so I will consider all input that I get. thanks!

[ May 01, 2002: Message edited by: cptoonz ]

[ May 01, 2002: Message edited by: cptoonz ]

[ May 04, 2002: Message edited by: cptoonz ]

[Jolyon Meldrum]

Very nice image, I agree the castle would look better at a higher position in the composition. Also I have a little wee comment to make about the gun in her left hand. It�s very large and if she is about to fire it out is firing it it would probably snap her arm off. Sorry to be so picky, but it would look really nice tucked snugle into her shoulder blatting out a few rounds, her face is very emotionless, a open mouth scream would make it a bit more atmospheric... lovely work though, very nice.

[arkoh]

well, with a bit of work, did I manage to find somwhere to upload and show my sketch from... I cant access my own webstoragespace at the time, so...

Well I just wanted to show you what it was I was talkin about before... so this quick explanation



And If you want it to tilt the wings from the back and away, then you can easily control this, using the same principels as I have explained here!!!

Good luck, Hope its to any use!!!

[cptoonz]

jolyonmeldrum,

thank you I appreciate...you have a point about the left gun...your, right, in fact on all your points. I posted all this, here, and got some more critiques and thoughts from Francis, morcegao, and Mermuse. They opened my eyes on the compositional problems with the image. Thanks for your idea on a more dramatic facial expression...I think I will restart this piece, with her face as the center of interest and a much improved composition

arkoh,

Wow! Thank you for the red-blue-green line...that helps me a great deal. Actually, your first response led me to post here. From there I realized, unfortuneately, I missed more than the boat on the perspective...but on the composition as well. Bringing the castle closer in would be more dramatic but it would also reinforce the strong line from her right foot to her head (that comment ala Mermuse), etc, etc. As I step back and look at this image and I hear my 7th Grade art teacher screaming at me "Where is your center of interest???" I stand, mouth agape (just as I did in Jr High) and have no answer, because there is no center of interest. Suddenly my excessive rendering and popular anatomical exaggerations don't look as cool. Sorry for that novel, but I do see what your saying now on the perspective, I greatly appreciate your time on the paint over!

Stay tuned, this will be revisited

peace

[cptoonz]

some updatage, if you will...

First, here is my new comp, ala rough:



Second, I am going to continue with the original drawing, with some changes...here's two options I am considering...

I prefer this one:


...or perhaps, this:


All thoughts, c&c, are appreciated. Thanks for all the help so far!

Note: I have text linked my previous images so this page will load a little easier

[Bare Bonez]

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!

Oh my GOD!!!! That is one damn cool picture. I am looking forward to seeing the final product. It is so amazing. The perspective makes it so dynamic. Amazing, amazing work!

Sorry, nothing constructive, but just amazed!

-b�

[cptoonz]

Thanks, BB, I sure appreciate it...there's no comp you prefer over the other? Anyway, thanks ...I hope to finish this up in a couple of days!